


am i bright enough to shine in your spaces

by seoktothegyu



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Jaehyungparkian, M/M, Side - SungPil, slightly aged up characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:35:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 43,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21550006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoktothegyu/pseuds/seoktothegyu
Summary: 37-year-old retired idol Young K moves into a new home just across the street from his ex, City Architect Park Jaehyung, who lives alone with his adopted son, Park Jisoo.or, the one wherein jae and brian reunite after being apart for 15 years.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 118
Kudos: 294
Collections: Day6 OTPs





	1. all alone

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic in the Jaehyungparkian tag!! Please do let me know what you think in the comments! (pls be nice o_o) Also, kindly ignore the grammatical errors as I tried to finish this at 4 in the morning (not ideal, i know but *shrugs* here it is anyway lol), I'll try to edit them on a later date, probably. Anyways, you can find me on twitter @jaesbrivilege :) Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this story are either products of my imagination or are used fictitiously.

“Are you all set, Young K?” Sungjin asks as he stands up from his seat at the waiting area as they’re about to board the plane to Los Angeles.

With a sigh, Younghyun replies instead with a curt “It’s back to Younghyun now, Sungjin,” before following after his manager (correction: ex-manager).

Sunjin merely nods. “Ah, by the way, did you remember to leave the check for your final rent to the front desk?” Sungjin looks back at him with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t want them to start calling and bothering us about unpaid terms when we’re already paying for your new house in LA. Real estate can be a real b—”

Younghyun cuts him off. “I did not forget, Sungjin. And honestly, even if I did, would you have expected me to miss my flight just to go back to the old apartment to pay the landlord?”

Sungjin ignores the tone in Younghyun’s voice as he greets the flight attendant at the gate, showing her their tickets. Having known the guy for a little over fourteen years, Sungjin knows when to just let Younghyun settle into one of his moods. And he honestly feels for the other as Sungjin understands why Younghyun has been a bit irritable ever since he woke up this morning.

Not more than 36 hours ago, he officially ended his contract with his entertainment company, the one that he’s been with for fifteen years. And as a parting gift, they decided to throw him a farewell party before he leaves South Korea for good. Feeling like he at least owes them his attendance at the party that he certainly did not ask for, Younghyun begrudgingly went and drank a few drinks too many in order to avoid having to keep up conversations with all of the other employees celebrating the entire successful run of his idol career.

Don’t get Younghyun wrong, he adores these people and knows that he wouldn’t have gotten far in this cruel industry without their help. It’s just that he feels exhausted and completely done with it all. Tired of the limelight, tired of all the attention, tired of having to put up a face to maintain his image. He has been feeling like this for about four years now and when he started considering the idea of retiring as an idol, the relief that came over him was indescribable. An unimaginable weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

The desire to quit solidified itself into Younghyun’s mind when, two years ago, he realized that suddenly, for the life of him, he couldn’t write songs anymore. He had been wrung dry, completely unmotivated, and emotionally empty. It was also not that he didn’t have a long list of unreleased songs that he could use instead whenever he would lose inspiration. But it was more of those unreleased songs that he wrote were, according to the company producers, “too dark and depressing”.

“We can’t produce this, Young K.” They told him after hearing just the first three songs of the latest album that Younghyun has written. “First of all, it doesn’t go with your brand. Second, when we said ‘go dark’, we meant something sexy and not emotionally concerning. And third, we don’t think a lot of people would be able to relate to this, man. Honestly, I feel a bit uncomfortable listening to them because that kind of longing isn’t something that should be shared to a large audience but rather, to the person who’s the source of these emotions. They’re too personal, is what I’m trying to say. People will have a lot of questions that you won’t be ready to answer.”

So, they gave him another couple of months to rewrite basically the whole album but Younghyun just finds himself circling back to the same old words. Until they had to postpone and reschedule his latest comeback that had fans, and the company executives, worried.

“What’s wrong, Young K?” The company CEO asked him once when he called Younghyun into his office. “Is there something that’s been bothering you? You know you can talk to me, right?” Having known each other for all those years, it brings some truth into the CEO’s words. And while Younghyun appreciates the concern, he also knows that no one will be able to understand him. That’s why he just decided to play it off as being in a slump.

“There’s really nothing to talk about.” Younghyun lied, casually shrugging his shoulder for effect, while puffing out a chuckle as he sat opposite his boss. “I think I just genuinely ran out of good ideas.” He also didn’t tell his boss that those songs were written all throughout the years so they perfectly represent the real Younghyun more than his released songs do.

Sighing, the CEO leaned forward on his desk. “Well, we still plan to give you a comeback by the end of this year at the latest so I have an idea on how we can go around this.” He held Younghyun’s gaze as he continued, “But I’m sure as hell that you’re not going to like it.”

“Ghostwriters?!” Younghyun repeated incredulously to his boss. “No fucking way. No. Never.” He scoffed as he wondered how, if his boss really knew him, the CEO would even _consider_ the idea. Younghyun used to love putting his feelings into paper and then singing about them to anyone willing to listen. He still does but the state that he’s in emotionally and mentally are beside the point. He took pride in writing and composing all of his songs in his entire discography. He loved the authenticity and growth that songwriting has given him as an artist. Even at the worst times, he never considered singing the words and preaching the experiences of another.

The CEO held up his hands. “Here me out. I have a list of songwriters who have been trying for _years_ to demo a song to you and are more than willing to waive copyright claims over it with enough monetary compensation. We’ll limit the people who knows about this between you, me, and the writer of your choosing. The public will never know, I promise.”

“Still no.” Younghyun replied stubbornly. “End of discussion.” He stood up to leave the room when his boss called out after him, “Think about your fans, Younghyun.”

Younghyun stopped walking, though he did not turn back to face his boss. Seeing that the CEO still has Younghyun’s attention, he continued, “They’re getting worried about you, man. You haven’t released a song in over a year. And while we’re still confident with the number of your following, we can never be too sure with how long we’ll be able to maintain that. You’re a Second-Generation idol in an industry currently being dominated by Fourth-Gen idol groups. One of these days, your fans will get tired of waiting for you and move on to a shinier, younger, and more polished idol.”

Younghyun hanged his head as he sighed heavily before turning to face his boss once more. “Look, I get it, hyung. I really do. But I’m sorry, I just can’t sing, much less embody, the words and experiences of someone I don’t even know. It also feels like I’m cheating my fans. And, if you recall, I actually have written my new album, all thirteen songs of them. So, take it or leave it.”

The company have, in fact, decided to leave it. And during those two years leading to his contract termination and retirement, Younghyun just bounced from one small gig to another. It was actually nice not to have such a packed schedule all of the time.

Try as he might, Younghyun couldn’t bring himself to regret his decision. He already has enough money that he doesn’t know what to do with them. He’s already lived out his fantasy of being in the spotlight. He’s had that for years and now it’s time for the next “it” idol to own it. Until the end, Younghyun stood by those songs and by those words because that’s what he genuinely feels and that’s just who he is both as an artist and as a person.

“Earth to Younghyun.” Sungjin’s voice brings Younghyun’s thoughts back to the current reality. Younghyun turned to see Sungjin and a flight attendant looking expectantly at him, clearly having asked a question that he obviously did not hear.

Feeling a little sheepish, he asks, “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” His English easily coming back to him and rolling off his tongue.

“Would you like some champagne, sir?” Younghyun can tell that the attendant is getting impatient with him but is trying really hard to hide it because he’s a business class ticketholder.

With an apologetic smile, Younghyun politely appreciates the offer but declines.

“The plane hasn’t even left the tarmac and you’re already spacing out.” Sungjin jokingly nudges him once the attendant has left.

Upon seeing his friend’s calm and playful demeanor in contrast with his cold and contemplative one, Younghyun couldn’t help but wonder why Sungjin had insisted on coming with him in the first place. Clearing his throat, Younghyun starts, “Sungjin, I need you to be honest with me.”

Sungjin snorts as he throws Younghyun a sideways glance. “I’m always honest with you, fool.”

Younghyun can’t help but chuckle. That is true, even when the words will be somewhat offensive, Sungjin is never hesitant to give them to Younghyun. This open and straight-forward attitude of his is actually what made Younghyun trust him in the first place. There’s just no second-guessing with Sungjin.

“Why did you decide to quit working with the company and come to LA with me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Younghyun, I just needed a good English translator because I finally decided to start on my lifelong dream of traveling starting with America.” This earns him a chuckle from Younghyun. “No, but seriously, when you first told me your plan of retiring from the industry, it got me thinking of my own career. And how I’ve been too busy working and saving up for myself that I didn’t realize how everything else was flying by so fast and I was being left behind. And basically, because I’m old.”

“Hey,” Younghyun protests. “37 isn’t that old.”

Sungjin shrugs. “We’re old enough to actually start thinking about doing things that we want for once. And also, I’ve known you since you were 22 years old, me pushing on to 23. You’re like one of the oldest friends I’ve ever had. I wanted to come with you to see first how you would be settling down before going on my merry way of unemployment-slash-incredibly early retirement.”

“Aww,” Younghyun playfully coos but deep down, he completely appreciates his friend’s caring nature. “You’re being too cheesy, man. Just sleep it off, it feels weird.”

Sungjin just laughs as a way of replying.

After a beat of silence, it’s Sungjin’s turn to ask Younghyun a question. “Your turn. Do you see yourself finally settling down in LA? Like getting a job, meeting someone new, starting a family, and all that domesticity? Because honestly, I’m not planning on doing that yet for at least after five years. I’ve spent more than a decade of my life doing things for someone else—no offense, Hyunnie—and now that I’m free, I’m going to enjoy it.”

Younghyun thinks for a moment before saying, “I’d probably put off getting a job for a few years because, like you said, I’m going to try to enjoy this newfound freedom too. As for meeting someone new and starting a family,” he pauses, sighing, “I don’t think that’s in the cards for me, man.”

Sungjin’s eyebrows raise in surprise. This is new to him because when he first met Younghyun, the latter was too hung up on someone (still is, actually, if you ask Sungjin’s opinion). So when Younghyun told him his plan of moving to LA, Sungjin suspected that it was because Younghyun finally decided to look for and reunite with his lost love. Sungjin really didn’t know the whole story but from what he’s heard over the years, he knows that that was, and is, the love of Younghyun’s life.

“Why not?” Sungjin asks carefully.

With a faraway look in his eyes, Younghyun stares out the window. His voice quiet as he says, “I just don’t see the point in it anymore.”

Feeling that those words come from somewhere deep within Younghyun, Sungjin didn’t know what else to say. He suddenly feels for his friend as the latter settles himself in to that kind of future.

“Home, sweet home.” Younghyun announces to the foyer of his new house as him and Sungjin step inside. Younghyun took a quick sweep of the bare space and feels himself get excited to start filling his new home with music, decorations, and new memories. After dropping their luggage and Younghyun’s guitar case on one corner in the living room, Younghyun plops himself facedown onto the extended part of the large couch while Sungjin, ever the responsible man, starts placing the few packed foods they brought into the fridge and cupboards.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Sungjin’s calls out to Younghyun from the kitchen adjacent to the living room. It’s midday when they touched down at LAX and instead of stopping for a quick lunch like Sungjin had suggested, Younghyun vetoed the idea in favor of crashing at home to try to shake off the jet lag. “I’m making myself ramen, you want some?”

Younghyun just hums in reply before getting up from the couch to explore his new home as he waits for the ramen to cook. He first walks to the master bedroom—his room for the foreseeable future—and admires the light grey paint on three of the walls with the black accent wall at the head of the bed, queen-sized. The color of white used for the crown moulding, window frames, door to the walk-in closet, and bedsheets perfectly stands out and ties the whole room together. As he opens the door to the spacious master bathroom, Younghyun is beyond satisfied that there are both a tub and a shower. Just from what he’s seen of the house, the exterior, living room, master bedroom and bathroom, the idea reinforces itself in his mind that this house is pretty much just made for him. It perfectly suits his taste.

See, when Younghyun was choosing his new house a few months back, going through the handful of options his real estate agent sent him, he really had a specific look in mind. But after scrolling through countless of pictures for almost two hours already, his hope steadily flared out and he decided to just settle to whichever house would at least satisfy his basic preferences. At that point, he just wanted to find a decent-sized, 3 bedrooms 2 baths, bungalow style with a front yard. Knowing that he at least needed to keep looking or else he won’t be able to find anything, he continued to scroll through each of the pictures of the exteriors, house plans, floor plans, and listing details until he finally came across something that caught his eye. In fact, this one particular house didn’t just catch his attention, it made his heart skip a beat. His hand gripped the edge of the desk as he stared at the monitor for what felt like forever but in reality, it only took seconds for tears to start forming in his eyes. Heart in his stomach, Younghyun was transported back to a time he tried so hard to forget. And yet, here he is again, crying over the sight of a dark blue farmhouse.

It was during finals week of junior year in college when Younghyun, hunched over his desk studying for an upcoming exam in Marketing, heard the door to the dorm room close with a soft thud. Turning in his seat, Younghyun faced his roommate as the latter ungraciously dropped his slim body onto the couch.

“Rough day, hyung?” Younghyun asked with a fond smile.

“You have no idea, dude.” Jae replied with a groan while staring at the ceiling. “I had a consultation with my professor in Architectural Design for my would-have-been final draft of our project and can you believe that he literally made me add a few more elements to it. I mean, at first he said that it was good and impressive but then, now I gotta cram an additional 40 square-meters for the landscape as per his suggestions? So much for being ‘good and impressive’ then.”

Younghyun lightly chuckled, shaking his head at Jae’s words. “You know he only suggested those things because he’s actually looking forward to your work, right?”

Jae sighed, turning his head to meet Younghyun’s gaze. “Yeah, I know.” He relented. “I just didn’t need another thing to be added to my plate, this is honestly already giving me a headache.”

Younghyun’s heart felt for him. Standing up from the chair, he walked towards the left side of the couch where Jae’s head was resting. “Make some room.” He lifted Jae’s head, sat down, and placed the latter’s head on his lap. Younghyun carefully took off Jae’s glasses and hooked it on the older’s shirt collar before gently massaging circles on Jae’s temples.

Jae visibly relaxed, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. He moved towards Younghyun’s touch as he stared back up at Younghyun with soft eyes. He reached a hand out to pat Younghyun on the thigh in response. “I really appreciate you, BriBri.”

“I know, babe.” Younghyun replied with a playful smirk as he leaned down to give his boyfriend a kiss on the forehead. “You’d be dead without me, probably.”

“Feeling cocky, aren’t we?” Jae teased but still reached up both his hands to pull Younghyun’s head back for a kiss on the mouth this time.

“You like it, anyway.” Younghyun slightly pulled back as he whispered against Jae’s lips.

“True, but I like kissing you more.” Jae wrapped his fingers around Younghyun’s neck as their lips crashed once again. The kiss was halfway between being too intense and too shy as their tongues confidently tasted each other’s mouths but neither dared to let it escalate, knowing that they’re both exhausted from school yet still having a lot of things that needed to be accomplished in one night. So they spent the next few minutes just making out as a way to express their love for each other and at the same time, to relieve themselves of the stress that finals week has brought upon them.

“I have an idea for your project.” Younghyun started. It was way past midnight and Younghyun and Jae were still busy studying for an exam and revising a project, respectively. They were sitting side by side on two adjacent desks while sharing a big bag of chips.

When Jae didn’t respond, Younghyun remembered that Jae likes to listen to music while studying; a total contrast to Younghyun’s preference of absolute silence. Both of them so opposite in the littlest of things but still manage to make their relationship work because they always make sure that there’s mutual support and understanding on things that actually matter.

Younghyun reached out to gently pull out one of Jae’s earphones and proceeding to laugh at Jae’s startled expression. Younghyun noted how cute Jae looked while wearing oversized light blue sweatshirt and chicken-patterned pajama pants.

“What is it? Did you need something, baby?” Jae asked him, looking adorably confused and further adoring him to the younger.

Despite himself, Younghyun blushed at the term of endearment. Even after three years, he still hasn’t been able to successfully teach his heart to calm the fuck down every time Jae calls him that. “I have an idea for your project.” Younghyun repeated.

Upon hearing his words, Jae’s eyes lit up. He had been stuck on what to do for the landscaping part of his design for more than three hours now. Since his professor was intrigued with his design, the stakes got higher than just Jae’s final grade for this project. The glowing review from his professor didn’t help at all because for Jae, it only added more pressure for him to do incredibly well to be able to match and hopefully exceed expectations with this design.

“Let’s hear it, then. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be great.” He enthusiastically told Younghyun, turning in his seat to face the younger. “I mean, you’re basically a big part of the reason why I’m doing so well with this project anyway.”

“Hey, come on now. You did everything yourself, what are you talking about?” Younghyun asked with a frown.

With a smirk, Jae asked him. “Remember last year when we were complaining about our dorm room so we made a list of things we want to have when we get our own house in the future?”

Younghyun just nodded, not knowing where Jae was leading with the question.

As a way of answering, Jae turned his laptop screen towards Younghyun, showing the latter his design. “Well, here it is.”

In the screen is a perspective view of a three-dimensional farmhouse. Younghyun watched as Jae panned the display to give him a better look. The dark blue paint in the exterior walls, white porch and large windows, and black front door.

“Is that…?” Younghyun trailed off when Jae zoomed into the interior design; hardwood floors all throughout the house; the bedroom, at the end of the hallway, with its black accent wall that works perfectly well with white and grey color scheme and dark wood furniture, a large queen-sized bed, and its own spacious bathroom (this was a big deal to them because they wanted a shower that could easily fit them both at the same time); the living room that’s situated right at the center of the house with its large, beige sectional couch that stands out from the white walls, black furnishings to contrast the white, wooden built-in shelves with light brown varnish for books and records to match the color of the couch, and a nook just for their guitars; a large island in the kitchen that extends to the dining room with white countertops and black cupboards; and spacious front and back yards. The entire house gives off a comfortable and soft masculine feel.

Younghyun was speechless. Back when they were throwing ideas and scenarios around about their future house into the dark as they laid in bed, limbs tangled together, Younghyun thought that those words didn’t mean as much to Jae as they did to him. He didn’t dare hope that Jae actually imagined them living there in his head because Younghyun thought that to Jae, they haven’t reached that point in their relationship yet, having dated for a little over a year at the time. And here, after seeing the actual proof that, not only did Jae took their words to heart, he also worked hard to bring their thoughts into reality, Younghyun felt his love for his hyung grew tenfold.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jae asked warily. “Did you not like it? I-I can make changes, don’t worry! I’m not sure how much change I can do though since my professor has already seen and approved most of it but I promise I’ll—” Younghyun stopped his rambling with a kiss. It was a soft one, the softest that they’ve shared in a while, one that Younghyun hoped was able to convey his emotions that words can never give justice to. Unsurprisingly, Jae understood him perfectly as his returned the kiss, his hands going up to cup Younghyun’s cheeks and holding them as if Younghyun’s the most fragile thing he’s ever held.

“Why didn’t you show this to me sooner?” Younghyun asked him as they pulled apart after a few seconds.

The tips of Jae’s ears tinged pink as he looked down, flustered. “I was afraid I’d scare you away because I wasn’t sure if you took the things we said back then seriously. If you actually imagined us living in a house like this, too.”

Younghyun placed a finger under Jae’s chin to lift that latter’s face back up and meet Younghyun’s gaze. “Of course, I took them seriously. Everything we’ve ever talked about, everything we’ve ever shared, basically everything about you means the world to me. Never doubt that again, okay?”

As Jae considered his words, a smile lit up his entire face. “Love you, BriBri.” He closed the distance between them again to kiss the younger’s nose.

“So, do you still want to hear my idea or not?” Younghyun teasingly prompted when Jae leaned back in his chair.

Remembering what they were talking about just a few minutes ago, Jae tilted his computer screen to fully face him again as he sat up straight, eager to get back to designing. “Give it to me, baby.”

Clearing his throat, he started, “Your landscape should have a focal point, one that stands out but also looking like it still belongs there. So, my idea is to include a wooden bench swing with vinery plants growing into and around its arbor. And it’s painted white so that it matches the white of the porch. You could also add bushes with bright-colored flowers or small trees behind and on both sides of it to give it a proper frame of space.”

In a heartbeat, Jae turned away from Younghyun to start working. “Brian, you’re a genius! A swing, why didn’t I think of that? Honestly, all I’ve been able to come up with are large decorative rocks. See, I told you you’re the reason this project is still alive and kicking. Dude, what would I do without you? Failing this class, probably. I can’t wait to get this done and show you the final output. My professor won’t even know what hit him, I swear to God…”

As Jae continued rambling praises about him, Younghyun just watched with a content smile on his face seeing his hyung get back to work with newfound enthusiasm.

Younghyun, heart heavy with the memory, sits down at the foot of his bed, staring into space. It is such a bittersweet feeling. He wonders whether fate is playing a joke on him. He gets to live alone in a house that perfectly fits everything they’ve ever wanted. He feels tempted to send a picture of the house to Jae just to tell him about it for old time’s sake even after all these years but he knows he can’t do that because Jae’s already happy without him. At that thought, he suddenly doesn’t feel hungry anymore, opting to just sleep for the rest of the day. And that’s how Sungjin finds Younghyun minutes later, asleep on top of the covers, wearing a plain white shirt and his favorite chicken-patterned pajama bottoms.


	2. when you love someone

It has been three days since Younghyun and Sungjin have arrived in Los Angeles when Sungjin suggested they finally explore the city. While this isn’t their first time setting foot in LA—with Younghyun having performed a concert at the city as part of the North American leg of his last tour almost three years ago—this, however, will be the time that they’re finally able to look around without having a tight schedule to hinder them from doing so like it did before. They decide to go out for dinner and a few drinks after picking up Younghyun’s new car from the dealership, driving around, and shopping for clothes and other things needed for the house. And since it’s their first night out, they feel the need for a little bit of celebration so they’re currently on their way to eat at a moderately upscale restaurant.

Younghyun parks and idles the car in front of the valet area while Sungjin gets out of the passenger seat to inform the receptionist of their arrival to make sure that they aren’t late for their table reservation. Once Younghyun hands the keys to one of the chauffeurs, the man, in return, hands him a pen and a claiming stub. “Can I please have your name and signature, sir.”

“Oh, it’s…” Younghyun trails off, hesitating. Whenever he would fly overseas, using a different name has never been an option for him before because he already had his stage name. He was, and still is, known globally as Young K—or at least, to people from outside South Korea that are familiar with K-pop. And he did have an English name, the one he chose back when he was studying high school in Canada, but it was something that he hasn’t used in a really long time. No one has ever called him Brian in over 10 years. It’s like the last person who called Younghyun ‘Brian’ took the name with him when he left—to Jae, he’ll always be Brian. But he figures since he is in America currently starting a new chapter in his life, he sees it fit to reclaim his name.

Clearing his throat, Younghyun avoids the man’s gaze as he says, “Brian Kang.”

“Very well, sir Kang.” The man easily replies, completely oblivious to Younghyun’s inner turmoil. “Please present this claim stub to us later so that one of our staff will come to fetch your car. Enjoy your evening!”

Younghyun finds Sungjin seated at a table by the farthest corner from the entrance. It is a slightly secluded area of the restaurant, away from the hustle and bustle of the majority of the customers and waiters.

“What are you in the mood of having?” Sungjin asks him without looking up as Younghyun scans the menu.

Younghyun hums, eyeing the delightful selections of meat, seafood, and other mouth-watering dishes. “I think I’m going to have the steak, medium-rare, with a bowl of cheesy scalloped potatoes on the side, and just a glass of red wine. How ‘bout you?”

“I heard this place serves one of the best smoked salmon in LA so I’m going to try that. And then I’ll have Pinot Noir.” Sungjin playfully wiggles his eyebrows at Younghyun. “I really want to try and dine like a rich person tonight.”

Younghyun chuckles. “You are a rich person.” He reminds Sungjin before adding, “I mean, you don’t look like one but you are.”

“Yah!” Sungjin protests. “And who’s the one wearing sweatshirt and jeans right now? You’re lucky they even let you in.”

Younghyun narrows his eyes at Sungjin. “Touché.”

Once a waiter arrives to take their orders, Younghyun speaks only for himself and silently challenges Sungjin to give his own order in English. Much to Younghyun’s surprise, Sungjin easily manages himself. The ease at which he talks to the waiter made Younghyun feel proud and slightly impressed. See, over the years, Younghyun has been supportive of his manager taking up English lessons which, apparently, has paid off.

“Give me a harder challenge next time, man.” Sungjin smugly says after the waiter has left, leaving the menus with them just in case they decide to have dessert later.

Younghyun arches an eyebrow in mock challenge. “For real? Because I can easily come up with other things that you can—”

“No, no, no, I’m just kidding.” Sungjin cuts him off, chuckling nervously. “I’m not yet quite confident with my English skills. Sure, I can easily read the words but I feel like my vocabulary is still pretty limited. I don’t know how I’ll be able to carry myself in a real conversation. That’s actually what I have been practicing these past two days so that I’ll be ready for my tour around Europe in the near future, hopefully.”

Younghyun leans towards the table after hearing Sungjin’s words. “Wait, what? You’ve been practicing? Since when? How come I don’t know about this? I could’ve helped you!”

Sungjin snorts at him. “That’s because you haven’t left the house since we got here, you hermit. I actually made friends with one of our neighbors who also happens to be Korean, by the way, on our first day here. He was kind enough to agree to help me practice by conversing with me in full English whenever we would meet over at the coffee shop near downtown.” Sungjin gives him a wry look. “What did you think I do every time I go out around late in the afternoon over the past couple of days?”

Younghyun lamely shrugs. “I don’t know, I just thought you were taking a stroll or something.”

“Taking a stroll while wearing nice, trendy clothes?” Sungjin points out. “Are you still jet-lagged, man?” He teases.

“ _Oh_ ,” Younghyun’s eyes widen exaggeratedly in mock realization. “So instead of taking a stroll, you were out having dates. And you met him like what, three days ago? Damn, Sungjin, I didn’t know you work that fast.”

Sungjin blushes at Younghyun’s teasing. “They’re not dates, okay? We were just having coffee as friends.”

Seeing his friend’s flustered expression is a pleasant surprise to Younghyun. It amuses him to see his friend, someone who’s usually so reserved, blushing at the mere mention of dating whoever this neighbor is. So, naturally, he felt the need to tease Sungjin further. A flushed Sungjin is a rare kind of Sungjin. “You so clearly want it to be a date though. I mean, you said so yourself, you dress nicely for these ‘friendly’ coffee meetups. That’s dedication, man. You hardly even bothered to dress well whenever we would go to my schedules back then. Come to think of it, I actually have noticed you pick an outfit for thirty minutes these past two days. I think our Sungjinie has a crush~” he says the last part in a sing-song voice while raising his eyebrows suggestively at Sungjin.

“You can be so annoying sometimes, you know that?” Sungjin simply tells him with a sigh before pretending to be busy perusing the menu once again to choose for their dessert. However, Younghyun happily notices that his friend did not disagree with his insinuations.

It’s almost 9 in the evening when they finished having dinner. Younghyun offered to pay for everything but Sungjin, just as stubborn as the former idol, insisted they split the bill. “You’re unemployed now. I don’t want your bank account to take a hit.” Sungjin joked, both of them knowing that a bill of a couple hundred dollars is actually nothing to Younghyun. They have a running joke that since Younghyun avoided splurging all throughout his idol career, the media might suspect and make up a rumor that his contracts don’t pay him that much even though he’s one of the biggest idols in the industry. When in fact, it’s the absolute opposite. Younghyun just humbly and politely avoided talking about it as he lived simply and secretly while trying to keep his private life safely protected from the public eye. And to add to Younghyun spending wisely, his bank account just kept growing and growing. The most expensive transaction he ever spent in fifteen years was buying his current house.

As Sungjin waits for the servers to finish preparing their take-out bags—they ordered an additional two servings of the steak to eat while continuing their drinking at home—Younghyun went out to the valet attendant to have the car ready. While waiting in front of the restaurant, Younghyun enjoys the fresh breeze in such a hot night during mid-August. He looks around the street, seeing a few stalls in the market down the block closing up for the night. Even this late in the evening, a lot of people still milled around the sidewalks, going in and out of various establishments. He enjoys seeing the lights that lined the streets, listening to the soft music coming from somewhere he couldn’t pinpoint and the faint laughter that gave the overall positive energy in the atmosphere. Younghyun thinks that he really could see himself settling there. As his eyes take another sweep of the surroundings, a guy in a black suit running on the sidewalk a couple of blocks away made his heart skip a beat.

Younghyun couldn’t believe his eyes.

 _‘It can’t be…’_ Younghyun thinks to himself as he watches the guy glance behind himself before completely disappearing from Younghyun’s sight as the latter went around the block. _‘It is him!’_

Without hesitation, Younghyun runs after Jae. Gone was his thoughtful and contemplative mood just a few seconds ago; nervous anticipation, hope, and longing taking its place. Even though he didn’t get a clear view of Jae—the man’s silhouette telling Younghyun that Jae who was once constantly complaining about his lanky frame, has finally put on some weight on all the right places—a glimpse of that handsome face was more than enough for Younghyun. He would recognize that face anywhere.

Younghyun couldn’t remember the last time he ever ran this fast. And on a foreign place at that. However, when Younghyun rounds the corner, there was no sign of Jae anywhere. He frantically and desperately scans the area for a tall guy in a black suit but coming up emptyhanded. Ever so stubborn, Younghyun did not let that deter him as he kept going. He didn’t care that people were looking at him as if he’s a wild animal on the run, the only thing on his mind right now is that he would once again see Jae’s beautiful face; see the twinkle in those adorable twitching eyes.

He loses track of how long he’s been running and only slows down when he feels he might pass out from breathlessness. He finds himself in an empty playground by the park. As a final attempt to find Jae, he looks around the surroundings once more, blindly hoping and praying for just another glimpse. ‘ _Is that too much to ask?’_ Being met with absolute stillness, Younghyun lets out a frustrated groan. When he feels that it’s not enough, he continues to let it all out, shouting, “Shit! Shit, shit, shit!” He spat a few more curses as tears stream down his face. Exhausted, and not just from the run, he sinks to the ground, crouching as he lets the tears fall. He didn’t stop himself from finally breaking down. He didn’t even have the strength to stop even if he tried. It just felt _so good_ to cry. So, he stayed like that for what felt like hours, sobbing and all alone.

_‘What am I doing?’_ He asks himself once he’s managed to calm down. He finally stopped having hiccups now that he can breathe properly again but the ache in his heart remained. He was so damn certain that it was Jae. Sure, he no longer had blond hair as he now wears his natural hair color styled perfectly with highlights, no longer as slim as Younghyun remembers, and no longer weighed down by the pressure and worry of being a rising idol’s secret boyfriend as Jae walked lighter now with each step, happier and care-free. But Younghyun _knows_. He feels it in his gut that it’s Jae. He couldn’t have conjured up that image on his own.

Losing sight of Jae especially when he had been _this_ close is not the only thing that Younghyun regrets this evening. It’s the way he’s been acting right now is what upsets him. The main reason why he chose LA as the place to hopefully settle down on is the hope that it would make him get closer to Jae. He had occasionally been keeping tabs on him online through his dad’s architecture firm which Jae is currently managing now, so Younghyun knows that he still resides in LA. Younghyun had been mentally preparing himself for years so that when Jae finally sees him again, he won’t be a total mess. But look at him now, crying on an empty park in the middle of the night.

His phone ringing surprises Younghyun. He pulls it out of his pocket to find that he had eight missed calls and twelve texts all from Sungjin. He had been too preoccupied to notice that it had been ringing almost constantly since he ran from the restaurant. Sungjin must’ve been so worried.

Swallowing his guilt, he gives Sungjin a call. The latter picks up right away. “Where the hell are you, Kang Younghyun?!” Younghyun slightly pulls the phone away from his ear as Sungjin’s voice spoke loudly over the speaker. Sungjin calling him by his full name is never a good sign. “I come out of the restaurant to find you gone and the valet guy telling me that you just ran? Do you have any idea how worried I was?”

“I’m really sorry, Sungjin.” Younghyun apologizes as sincerely as he can. “I just had to.”

Sungjin audibly calms himself down as he lets out a sigh. “What happened, man?”

“I saw him.”

Suddenly, Sungjin understood everything. His voice is quiet when he asks, “Where are you?”

It only took a couple of minutes for Sungjin to arrive after Younghyun sent the former his location. They’re currently sitting on the swing set at the playground with Sungjin patiently waiting for Younghyun to speak up. Often times, all Younghyun needs is time to collect his thoughts before opening up. However, Sungjin feels that this isn’t one of those times.

“So, what happened?” He prompts, gently nudging his friend with his foot.

Younghyun sighs heavily, looking down at the sand at the bottom of the swing. “I saw him.” He repeats. “He still looked kind of the same, but doesn’t. Still as handsome as I remember though. He was wearing a black suit that perfectly fits him. God, he looked so hot. He has gained weight, no longer the slim boy from college. He was in a hurry. I tried to go after him but as always, I was too late.”

Sungjin reaches out a hand to pat Younghyun’s shoulder. “I think I know what you need.” He starts, making the latter look at him in question.

“What is it?”

“Booze.” Sungjin answers, successfully making Younghyun chuckle. Sungjin stands up from the swing and faces his friend. “Let’s go, you can tell me all about him when we get home.”

“Thanks, Sungjin.” Younghyun gives him a small smile in appreciation before standing up and heading towards the car.

It’s an hour before midnight and Younghyun and Sungjin are seated at the porch having a beer. Younghyun has his acoustic guitar sitting on his lap, untouched. They have long finished eating the take-out steak but Younghyun still hasn’t finished telling Sungjin all the things he loves about Jae. As the latter attentively listens to Younghyun’s words, Younghyun feels the sharp pain in his chest soften into a dull ache as he shares the burden of longing to his friend.

All throughout his idol career, he knows that Sungjin is aware he was still pining after someone but since it’s hard being an idol and hiding the fact that he’s gay from the public at the same time, there’s been an unspoken rule between the two of them to never talk about Jae lest there might be someone watching and/or eavesdropping. Or they might get too comfortable talking about it that they slip up and accidentally tell the wrong person. So Younghyun figured that it’s better if Sungjin doesn’t know the details. Sure, Sungjin knows what Jae looks like from seeing the framed picture of Jae and Younghyun on Younghyun’s bedside drawer, but that’s about it. He doesn’t know how they met, why they broke up, nothing. That way, if anyone ever asks the right questions, Sungjin won’t know what to answer them.

Now that they left the idol life behind, Younghyun feels it’s finally safe to tell his friend all about Jae.

“Park Jaehyung was such a pain in the ass when I first met him.” Younghyun recalls with a fond smile. “Actually no, he was a pain in the ass even after we started dating.” He adds, making Sungjin laugh. “He’s lucky I found him incredibly attractive the first time I saw him or else I wouldn’t have put up with our petty competition in the class we shared back in freshman year. He loved to argue about everything—conspiracy theories, music, TV shows, you name it. He just wouldn’t stop talking. Used to drive me crazy back then so I developed a way to always shut him up, if you know what I mean.” He wiggles his eyebrows playfully at Sungjin. “Then later on I found out that he only kept talking and annoying me on purpose so that I would keep on kissing him to shut him up, that sly son of a bitch.”

“Looks like you found someone who’s just as annoying as you.” Sungjin comments teasingly.

“Yeah, I did.” Younghyun agrees with a chuckle. “He’s also the most caring person I’ve ever met. He would always make sure to buy me coffee on mornings that I have an exam, treat me to dinner to celebrate the end of finals, and would even scold me for forgetting to call my mom when I said I would. We were together all throughout college and during my debut before the company hired you to be my manager.” Younghyun suddenly feels his fingers itch to play the guitar as he reminds Sungjin, “Remember my debut song?”

Sungjin nods.

“That was actually a song I wrote for him for our fourth-year anniversary.” Younghyun shares as he starts playing the notes to Jae’s favorite parts of When You Love Someone.

 _This is a song for you  
_ _I’m singing for you  
_ _I’ll give you my everything_

 _I want to cry for you  
_ _I want to hurt instead of you  
_ _I don’t want any scars in your heart  
_ _Ever again_

 _When you love someone  
_ _So much that it overflows_  
 _It’s so amazing  
_ _Because this is how it is_

Younghyun didn’t even notice the tears started falling as he finishes the song. Silence fell between the two as Younghyun yearns for his lost love and Sungjin staying with him in solidarity. For now, that’s all the comfort that he needs.

He was in the middle of closing his bedroom window when he hears the familiar song. Jae stills his entire body, listening. He looks around the dark neighborhood, not finding any sign of life. Jae grips the window sill with his hands as memories came flooding back to him. He doesn’t even know why he’s reacting this way. Brian’s song is one of the most popular and powerful K-pop songs in the industry, having penetrated the west despite the fact that it’s a debut song, so of course, Jae’s bound to hear it again at some point. It’s just that he hasn’t heard it being played live in so long. He can tell that the song is not coming from a radio, can tell that it’s being played perfectly from a guitar.

Before he got too emotional, he slammed his window shut, cutting off the music. Knowing that he definitely won’t be able to go to sleep after this, Jae makes his way towards his son’s room, picking up his guitar along the way and taking a seat at the floor beside Jisoo’s bed. He starts plucking a few random notes, distracting himself, until he later on finds himself subconsciously playing the opening chords of _that_ song.

The next morning, Jae fixes his collar on the mirror near the front door before heading towards his car parked out front. “Jisoo, we’re leaving in ten!” He calls to his six-year-old son who’s currently brushing his teeth. He’s on his way to drive Jisoo to his summer school—where the kid is taking up piano and drum lessons—before driving to work. Even at an early age, his son was able to pick up Jae’s love for music. For his birthday present this year, he actually asked Jae for a drum set of his own.

“I’m tired of practicing the drums in school, I want to play the drums even when I’m home, dad.” The kid once told him, pouting cutely for good measure. And what was Jae supposed to do to that, say no? As his heart melted at the sight, he immediately bought a set that’s perfectly proportioned for his son and did a quick research to find a great summer music program in the city. And here they are now, three weeks in.

While Jae’s loading the car with his son’s backpack and lunch bag, his friend and neighbor Wonpil called after him.

“Good morning, Jae!” Wonpil greets him.

“What do you want, Wonpil?” Jae deadpans.

Wonpil happily ignores Jae’s tone as he continues, “Why do you assume that I always want something? Can’t I just say hi to my friend?”

“Because that’s what snakes do.” Jae simply replies, facing Wonpil and snickering when he sees Wonpil sporting a wounded look. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. What’s up?”

Wonpil merely sighs in exasperation. He’s more than used to Jae’s antics by now, having been his friend for more than ten years. “Are you free to have dinner this Friday?”

“I guess so,” Jae replies, shrugging. “As long as we won’t be out too late, I can ask Dowoon to babysit Jisoo. Why, what for?”

“Remember that guy I’ve been telling you about?” Wonpil reminds Jae, his voice adopting an excited tone.

“The one you’ve been going on coffee dates with the past few days?” Jae asks, to which Wonpil nods in confirmation. “What about him?”

“Well,” Wonpil starts. “I’ve been dropping hints that I like him and that I want to get to know him more but I’m not sure if he’s picking up on them. So, I invited him to dinner. And that’s where you come in.”

“Whatever it is, hard pass.” Jae quickly rejects. “See, I was right. You did want something, you snake.”

This time, Wonpil just laughs off the comment. Well, Jae is right. He did have an ulterior motive for talking to his hyung this morning. “Come on, Jae. I need you to be my wingman. Just this once, please?” He begs Jae. And when that didn’t seem to work, Wonpil throws in a few _aegyo_ poses to annoy his friend into agreeing.

Wonpil’s in the middle of throwing hearts Jae’s way when the latter finally stopped him.

“Alright, I will!” Jae relents, earning a cheer from Wonpil. “Just promise me you will never do _aegyo_ again. Ever.” He adds for good measure.

“Deal!” Wonpil quickly promises. “Oh, I forgot to mention, this guy I like? Sungjin? Him and his friend are actually the ones who bought that corner house.” Wonpil tells him, pointing to the dark blue farmhouse at the end of the block.

At hearing this new information, Jae couldn’t help feeling his heart sink. He always feels regret whenever someone would either rent or stay at the house. He feels like he’s such a coward because he never had the guts to live in it himself. After all, he did design the damn thing. It was even his very first major project at the firm.

“Bought the house? So, they’re actually staying for long?” Jae asks, trying to sound casual.

If Wonpil notices the slight edge in Jae’s voice, he didn’t let on. “Yeah, he said his friend actually wants to settle down here in LA. I hope Sungjin introduces me to him, from what I heard, I think he’s pretty cool. I mean, I even heard him playing the guitar beautifully late last night. I didn’t even know it was him but when I was texting with Sungjin about this familiar song I’ve heard being played outside, Sungjin told me that was actually his friend with the guitar. You heard it too, right?”

Jae just nods, not trusting his voice.

“I just love that song. It used to be so popular back then. Who was the singer again? The cute one with the fox eyes?” Wonpil tries to recall, completely oblivious to Jae standing still beside him.

“I can’t remember, sorry.” Jae easily lies, not wanting to indulge into explaining that he not only knows the singer. That’s he’s spent more than four years of his life with that singer. That the first time he ever had sex was with the singer. That the song they’re talking about was actually the singer’s gift to Jae.

Jae sees Jisoo stepping out the front door, coming over to him with a yawn. Jae sees this as a perfect distraction as he faces Wonpil saying, “Anyways, we gotta go. See you soon, Wonpil!” He walks up the lawn to lock the front door before grabbing his son’s hand as they make their way to the car.

“See you!” Wonpil calls after them, making his way back to his house. “And have fun at school, Jisoo!”

“I will, uncle!” Jisoo happily replies.

Younghyun was in the middle of cooking his late afternoon snack when he notices that he had miscounted the portions of one of the ingredients from the last time Sungjin went grocery shopping. With Sungjin once again nowhere to be found, Younghyun begrudgingly had to drive to the nearest store to get enough supplies.

He originally planned to just grab what he needed and go but when he saw how fully stocked the store was with various food and other ingredients, Younghyun couldn’t help but to add more to his cart. After spending thirty minutes inside the store, he now has more than enough to stock up his refrigerator and pantry full of different kinds of food and other necessities.

As he’s currently looking through the sweets aisle, he sees a kid come around the corner from the other end, silently crying. Younghyun waits for a parent to follow after the boy but when no one comes, he walks carefully towards to the poor child, not wanting to scare him.

Younghyun crouches to match the kid’s height. He schools his face to look gentle as he offers a friendly smile. “Hey, kiddo, what’s wrong? Are you lost?”

Sniffling, the kid shyly replies, “I can’t find my dad.” Another round of fresh tears streams his chubby cheeks as he lets out a cry.

“Hey, no worries.” He reaches a hand out to gently pat the kid on top of his head, trying to calm him down. “I’m here to help you, okay? My name’s Brian. What about you?”

Swallowing a few hiccups, the kid answers as he looks back at Younghyun, “I’m Jisoo.”

“Well, Jisoo, nice to meet you.” Younghyun offers his hand for a shake at the kid.

Seeing that he’s being treated like an adult by an actual adult, Jisoo proudly stands straighter, wiping his tears away with both his hands before reaching out to shake Younghyun’s hand. “Nice to meet you, too, Brian.”

Younghyun is impressed by the kid’s demeanor, not minding at all that the kid got his hand wet with the latter’s tears. He adores the way the kid tried to act mature in the midst of such a stressful situation for him. The kid must’ve only been like, what, only five or six years old? “So, can you tell me what happened, bud? Have you been lost for long?”

“My dad and I were on our way to buy me a new set of drumsticks when I saw my favorite chocolate through the window of this store. I quickly ran inside to get it but I didn’t notice that dad wasn’t behind me anymore.” Jisoo bows his head in shame.

Younghyun’s heart melts for the kid. He hooks a finger under the child’s chin, lifting it for the latter’s gaze to meet his. “It’s not your fault, okay?”

Jisoo merely nods, still feeling shy.

To try to comfort the kid first, Younghyun looks around the aisle full of sweets. “Tell you what, Jisoo.” He perks up, making the kid look expectantly at him. “Why don’t you show me where the chocolate is so that we can buy some, one for me and one for you, yeah?”

Jisoo’s eyes spark with excitement before quickly diminishing again. “I don’t have my dad’s credit card with me.”

“Don’t worry, bud, I’ll pay for it.” Younghyun simply replies.

“Really?” Jisoo asks with wide eyes.

“Really.” Younghyun confirms with a wink.

“Thank you so much, Brian!” Jisoo surprises him with an enthusiastic hug. “I promise I’ll pay you back in four years! Dad said he’ll start giving me allowance when I’m finally ten years old!”

Younghyun couldn’t help but chuckle fondly at the kid’s promise before finding himself hugging the kid in return. When Jisoo pulls away, he offers his pinky finger to Younghyun. “Here, I’ll even do a pinky promise to let you know how serious I am.”

“I’m holding you to this, Jisoo.” Younghyun indulges the kid, hooking his pinky with the little one’s finger.

“You said you and your dad were on the way to buy you a pair of drumsticks, right?” Younghyun asks Jisoo. They’re currently sat on one of the benches on the sidewalk in front of the store, eating chocolate. After quickly checking out the groceries, Younghyun tried to find more information about the kid’s parents such as a phone number or an address but unfortunately, the kid left his school ID which contains all the valuable information inside his dad’s car. So not knowing what else to do for now without alerting the kid especially after the latter was finally able to calm down, Younghyun decides that they just stay put in hopes of Jisoo’s dad finding them.

“Yeah,” Jisoo mumbles around a big bite, smearing a little chocolate on his right cheek. Younghyun reaches a finger out to wipe it off.

“Well, there’s a music store a few blocks away so I’m guessing your dad’s not far from here.” Younghyun assures the kid. “I’m sure he’s already getting pretty worried about—”

“Jisoo!”

The kid perks up, looking at the direction of the sound. “Dad!”

Younghyun tries to follow the kid’s gaze, seeing a man quickly approaching them. The glare of the setting sun blinded Younghyun for a moment so all he could see was the silhouette of who he assumes is Jisoo’s dad.

“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere! Have I been gone too long? I’m so sorry, baby. I promise it’ll never happen again.” The man, wearing a baseball cap hiding his face, runs towards Jisoo, hugging the kid tightly to his chest.

Younghyun watches the kid as the latter visibly relaxes in relief. “It’s okay, dad. This man helped me and bought me my favorite chocolate.” At the mention of him, Younghyun prepares to introduce himself to Jisoo’s dad.

“Hi, I’m—”

“Brian?”

When Younghyun met Jisoo’s dad’s gaze, his heart skipped a beat—Younghyun’s usual reaction towards Jae.

“J-Jae?” Younghyun asks, eyes wide in surprise. He looks between Jisoo and Jae. “You’re Jisoo’s dad?”

“Uh, yeah, I am.” Jae blushes slightly at the predicament, standing up to his full height. Younghyun feels his whole body froze at the confirmation. “I swear I’m not an irresponsible parent. I’ve just been too preoccupied lately and when I ran back to get something in the car, I didn’t realize Jisoo wasn’t following me anymore. I should’ve known better, I guess I just got _so_ lucky it was you who found him.”

“Don’t worry about it, hyung. It was a pleasure spending time with Jisoo.” Younghyun answers as sincerely as he can manage. Deep down, his heart is currently breaking while looking at the living and breathing proof that Jae has completely and happily moved on without him—his son, Jisoo.

Silence fell between the two as they both watched each other, trying to pinpoint all of the things different and still the same in the other. Trying to familiarize themselves with the subtle changes, and at the same time, remembering just how much they missed each other’s presence.

Jisoo watches the two of them partly in confusion and fascination. “Dad, is Brian your friend too?”

At the kid’s question, Jae snaps his gaze away from Younghyun. “Um, yes, buddy. He’s a friend from college.”

 _‘Ouch.’_ Younghyun pathetically thinks to himself.

“Woah, we’re both friends with a cool guy, dad.” Jisoo proudly tells Jae.

Jae is pleasantly surprised at his son’s sudden friendship with Younghyun. He cocked an eyebrow at Younghyun in question. “I missed a lot while I was gone, didn’t I?”

Telling himself to snap out of his stupor, Younghyun replies as casually as he can, “You have no idea.”

Jae just chuckles at that. _‘How is he so fine with all of this when I’m being such a complete mess?’_ Younghyun questions as he notices the ease at which Jae carries himself, a complete contrast to his tense posture.

“Anyways, how have you been, man?” Jae’s voice adopts a friendlier tone. “How long have you been in LA? We should definitely—” the sound of his phone ringing cuts off his invitation. Jae sighs heavily after reading the text.

“Look, we really have to go to run an errand but,” Jae pauses, reaching for something in his back pocket. “Here,” he hands Younghyun his business card. “Text me. Let’s have some coffee sometime and catch up. For old time’s sake.” He says the last part in a softer tone.

His own self-preservation tells him to say no but Younghyun easily ignores it as he gives Jae a gentle smile, taking the card and gripping it hard in his hand. “Of course, hyung.” Even when he’s falling apart inside, just seeing the familiar fondness in Jae’s eyes manages to crumble all of his walls down. And really, has he ever been able to say no to Jae? Never happened then when they were dating so why start now. “Looking forward to it.”

“Say goodbye to Brian, Jisoo.” Jae prompts his son.

“Goodbye!” Jisoo obeys, happily bringing up his right pinky finger in reminder. “I promise I’ll keep my promise to you, Brian!”

Younghyun chuckles at the kid’s words. He couldn’t help it; the kid is just that adorable. “Okay then, Jisoo.”

Jae gives him a confused look. “What promise?”

“It’s our secret.” Younghyun replies with a playful smirk. “Right, Jisoo?”

Excited to be in on something that his father doesn’t know, Jisoo enthusiastically nods. “We will take this to the grave!”

Younghyun laughs at the kid’s answer.

“Wow, I feel slightly betrayed.” Jae jokes, pulling his son along. “Anyways, see you soon, Brian!”

“See you, hyung.”

Younghyun’s smile immediately drops once Jae and his son are out of sight. Numbly, he carries the grocery bags back to his car and heads home. He doesn’t even remember most of the drive, his mind too busy replaying the scene at the front of the grocery store. As he’s sat at the living room, a few bottles of beer waiting to be opened on top of the coffee table, Younghyun stares at the business card on his hand for what feels like hours.


	3. better better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so they begin again after years of near misses.

The sound of a thousand screams were still ringing in Younghyun’s ears even two hours well after the concert. Him and Sungjin were currently sitting at the McDonald’s that was slightly farther away from the venue where Younghyun had a stop during his latest tour in LA. Clad in a plain black shirt, worn out jeans, and a Yankees cap covering half of his face, Younghyun felt relieved in seeing that no one paid him any attention when they entered the store. Sat with his manager in a corner booth, Younghyun was happily munching on a Big Mac and French fries. This basically became his post-concert tradition in so long as he always gets incredibly hungry after performing.

“Calm down, Younghyun!” Sungjin told him with a chuckle. “You’re pretty much inhaling all the food.”

“I haven’t eaten anything in five hours.” Younghyun explained to his manager. “Plus, the Hi-Touch event took a lot longer than expected.”

Sungjin snorted. “Only because you insisted on asking the names of each participant before letting them go.”

“I can’t help it, okay?” The idol shrugged, taking a final sip from his iced coffee before continuing, “They paid a good amount of money just to come and see me. It’s the least I could do.”

“I hear you, man. I really do.” Sungjin replied before taking the last bite of his own burger. “I genuinely appreciate the connection that you’ve built with your fans and I can tell that they’re thankful for it, too. It’s just that you’re not the one who always had to stick his neck out and apologize to the organizers for not sticking to the schedule.”

Younghyun couldn’t help but laugh at his friend’s defeated sigh. “That’s why I always treat you with food after every concert.” He reminded Sungjin, knowing full well that he’s already forgiven.

“Speaking of which, I’m going to buy my sundae now. Need anything?” Sungjin asked him, preparing to stand up.

“Large milk shake, please.” Younghyun replied before handing the other his credit card.

Sungjin glanced at the growing line in the counters, pocketing the card. “Alright, be right back.”

As Younghyun was left alone in the booth, he kept his head low as he finished what remained of his food when he heard a familiar laugh rang close in the background. His hands froze as he looked around the store, trying to find the source of the sound. His eyes panned the other customers and when they landed on a blond heap of hair, Younghyun’s heart started beating fast. The guy, with a phone against his ear, was sitting alone a few tables over, moving his hands animatedly as he talked to whoever was on the other line. Younghyun felt his leg move on their own accord as he stood up to approach the other. His eyes never left the guy as he got closer, not once believing his luck. And when he was merely less than two feet away, his excited greeting died in his throat when he saw the little kid happily bouncing on Jae’s lap.

 _‘God, no_. _No, no, no.’_

Younghyun’s close enough to hear Jae’s voice as the older brings the phone to the little one’s ear. “Say goodbye, my love.”

Following Jae’s instructions, the kid said to the person on the line, “B-bye!”

Younghyun saw Jae give the boy a fond smile before reaching down to kiss the kid’s forehead. Younghyun could almost feel his heart breaking into two. He slowly backed away from Jae and the child, distancing himself from the unbearable domesticity of the sight.

_‘He has a family now.’_

His thoughts latched onto those words as he felt his whole world crumble before him in the middle of a place as mundane as McDonald’s. His mind kept replaying the image of Jae bringing his lips to the kid’s forehead, the gentleness and fondness that he handled and held the kid with. He couldn’t help thinking that, if he hadn’t been an idiot all those years ago, it could’ve been _him_ on that phone talking to Jae, on the way to meet Jae and their son from work for a quick trip to McDonald’s before going home.

In that moment, he decided that he’s angry at Jae. He’s mad at how the older could be so happy while Younghyun was beyond miserable and alone. How easily it must’ve been for Jae to forget their plans and promises for the future while Younghyun held onto them like a lifeline—getting married in Europe, adopting a kid and then getting another one after three years, settling in LA, and so much more.

He’s also angry at the little boy for existing in the first place. For the family that Jae was able to build here. For the knowledge that Jae would never be able to love anyone else more than he does that little kid. Younghyun could never compete with that. But mostly, he’s angry at himself for thinking that way. He’s mad at his selfish thoughts. He’s upset with himself because even after seeing all of that, he still found himself loving Jae unconditionally.

And later on, when he’s not feeling this broken, he might even admit that, at the end of the day, if Jae’s happy then he’s happy.

And if he had stayed longer, he would’ve noticed the absence of a wedding ring on Jae’s finger.

The grip on his elbow managed to snap Younghyun away from his thoughts. It was Sungjin, looking a little concerned. “We need to leave. I heard a few girls standing in line looking for a KPop idol. Apparently, someone posted a picture of you in one of their SNS accounts. Fortunately, it was blurry and the girls don’t know which McDonald’s branch we’re in so we need to bolt now while we still have a chance.”

Younghyun wanted to say that he could not care less about that right now but he also didn’t want to create a scene because he doesn’t want Jae to see him this way. So, with a nod, he let himself be dragged away.

Two months later, Sungjin gets a call at midnight from a sobbing Younghyun. He could tell from the slur of the idol’s words that he had been drinking. He was barely able to get any coherent words out.

“Younghyun?” Sungjin asked him, reaching a hand to flick open his bedside lamp, bathing the bed in soft light. “What happened, are you okay?”

“I-I can’t,” Younghyun paused, trying to control his sobs. “I can’t do it anymore!”

“Do what?” Sungjin demanded to know, sitting up in bed with concern. “Where are you? I’m coming.”

“N-no, you don’t have to.” Younghyun’s voice overtaken with uncontrollable hiccups. “I’m fine.”

“What happened, man?” Sungjin asked again, still unconvinced.

This question prompted a fresh round of tears from Younghyun. “I can’t write songs anymore!” He managed to let out. “I can’t do it. I’m done.”

“What do you mean?”

Sungjin’s words fell on deaf ears as Younghyun seemed lost in his thoughts. He kept repeating over the phone, “He forgot about me. It’s really over. I’m done, I’m never writing again. I’m done.”

Minutes later, Sungjin saw the mess that was Younghyun’s apartment. The coffee table was littered with empty beer bottles. Blank pieces of sheet music lying scattered on the floor, some crumpled and ripped. Younghyun’s acoustic guitar resting on the sofa with two of its strings broken. And Younghyun, slumped on the floor, was gripping the picture that was always placed on his bedside table.

“Younghyun, talk to me.” Sungjin crouched in front of Younghyun. His heart clenching at the state his friend was in.

“I mean it, Sungjin.” Younghyun’s voice sounded hollow and chillingly empty. “I’m really done with music.”

Sungjin knew even from the first time he heard the words from Younghyun’s mouth how serious the idol was. But hearing it again with such conviction and certainty still managed to surprise him. And while he really doesn’t know what happened that caused his friend to be this way, he just knows that it completely had everything to do with Jae—the love of Younghyun’s life. After being Younghyun’s friend for over twelve years, Sungjin knows that the only person who could make or break Younghyun was Jae.

“What happened?” Sungjin prompted.

“He has a family now.” Younghyun replied with the same tone. “I saw him with his son. The kid was actually really cute. Too bad he didn’t have Jae’s beautiful face though. He probably took after his mom’s features. What a waste.” He let out a humorless laugh.

Sungjin’s heart felt for his friend. He could never imagine himself loving someone this much to be rendered so broken.

Silence fell between the two as Younghyun continued to stare at the picture. It was of him and Jae taken back when senior year of college was about to start. They were at the beach. They had their arms tight around each other. They were laughing, though Younghyun can’t remember the reason why; he just knows that whenever he was with Jae, everything was all bright, happy, and full of laughter. He was facing sideways, laughing against Jae’s throat and his forehead resting on Jae’s right cheek. The older had his head was tilted down, kissing the top of Younghyun’s jet-black hair.

Younghyun cherished this picture the most because he so badly wants Jae to look at him the way he did in this picture again; with pure love and absolute devotion in his eyes.

“What are we going to do with your album now?” Sungjin asked him, reminding him of the latest meeting they had with the company CEO, telling Younghyun of their plan to give him another comeback in less than four months.

“I have a lot of unreleased songs that I’ve written over the years. The company’s just going to have to be okay with that.” He told Sungjin. “I’ve tried, man, even after seeing them. I really have. But I couldn’t bring myself to write a single lyric or make a simple chord in weeks now. Music doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. I’m done.”

And so, thus prompted the thoughts of retirement to plague his mind for the next two years. His one inspiration, the only person whom all those lyrics belonged to, positively didn’t need Younghyun anymore. Younghyun didn’t see the point in continuing this career because clearly, his words of longing and asking for a second chance failed to reach Jae’s ears.

  
  


It’s currently Wednesday afternoon when Wonpil and Sungjin are having another one of their “friendly” dates at the nearby coffee shop. As Sungjin walks toward the café, he nervously fixes the collar of his shirt before entering. He easily spots Wonpil sitting on one of the booths by the window, looking as radiant as ever. Once their eyes meet, Sungjin couldn’t help but smile brightly at the younger, Wonpil easily mirroring his expression. Wonpil stands up as Sungjin reaches the booth, surprising the older by giving him a warm hug before sitting back down. A warm blush finds its way onto Sungjin’s cheeks as he tries to hide them from Wonpil.

“I’m sorry I’m a bit late.” Sungjin starts, clearing his throat. “Have you been waiting for too long?”

Wonpil is quick to wave his apology off by sporting another one of those easy smiles that Sungjin can’t seem to get enough of. “Oh, no worries. It was just ten minutes; I don’t mind waiting for you.” He finishes with a wink.

A smirk replaces the smile on Wonpil’s face after seeing another round of blush appearing on Sungjin’s cheeks.

 _‘How adorable’_ , he coos to himself.

Sungjin clears his throat once again. It’s times like this when Wonpil gets a little flirty and forward that Sungjin blames himself for being a little bit inexperienced at dating since he hasn’t been in a proper relationship in years, too busy working as a manager to worry about such things back then. But now, he so badly wants to do well with whatever this is (mutual attraction? Flirtation? If you could even call it that with the way Sungjin easily gets flustered before coming up with a decent reply) because Wonpil is the only one he has ever felt this kind of attraction to all his life.

“Anyways,” he continues as a means to distract Wonpil’s attention away from his face, “Should I order now?”

“Oh, yeah.” Wonpil replies, pulling his wallet from his back pocket. “My order is—”

“Tall iced caramel macchiato. I know.” Sungjin easily finishes for him, standing up from his seat and offering Wonpil a smile. He reaches his hand out to stop Wonpil from taking out any money, gently wrapping his hand around the younger’s. “And since I’m late, it’s on me.”

Now it’s Wonpil who’s blushing and it’s Sungjin’s turn to feel satisfied with the other’s reaction.

Wonpil feels proud as he faintly hears Sungjin confidently ordering in English; his accent is getting better by the day. The older sounds surer now than the way he did almost two weeks ago. A couple minutes later, Sungjin comes back with their drinks and a single plate of cheesecake. With two forks.

Wonpil is quick to notice the detail.

“Here you go.” Sungjin hands Wonpil the macchiato before settling back on his seat. Wonpil follows Sungjin’s movements as the latter places the cheesecake in the middle of the table.

“And I also wanted to try this strawberry cheesecake,” Sungjin starts and Wonpil waits. “It looked so good on the counter.”

Wonpil merely hums in agreement, still anticipating and eyeing the other fork on Sungjin’s hand.

“Here.” Sungjin hands it to him. “Let’s share a slice.”

Even though he was kind of expecting it, Wonpil still feels pleasantly surprised as he takes the fork from Sungjin’s hand and eating a bite himself. He feels his heart swell at the sight of the two of them alternately eating a bite from the same plate.

It’s when the older does things like this that leads Wonpil to believe that the former might actually like him back as well. But since Wonpil has also noticed how easily flustered Sungjin gets, he tries to come onto him a little more gently than how he usually goes whenever he pursues someone he likes. His attraction towards Sungjin is fueled by more than just the rush of excitement and admiration that he gets whenever he sees a blush making its way towards the latter’s cheeks caused by Wonpil’s words or actions. There’s just something about the way in which Sungjin carries himself—calm, reserved, and reliable yet overly curious and eager to explore—that lures Wonpil in. In the days that he’s known Sungjin, he’s found himself immensely intrigued and more than interested to dig deeper to get to know the guy more than he ever did with his past relationships. And that’s saying something.

“So, why were you late earlier?” Wonpil asks. “Between us two, you’re usually the one who arrives first at the café.”

Sungjin sighs, sitting back. “It’s my friend, Younghyun. I just had to make sure first that he won’t starve if I leave him for the night.”

“Why? Is he sick?” Wonpil frowns.

“Oh, he’s totally fine.” Sungjin waves off the younger’s concern. “He’s just been sulking at home lately for the past two days. I feel like I’m babysitting a 37-year-old man-child. You know how emotional artists can get.”

After Wonpil found out days ago that Sungjin’s best friend is actually the recently-retired KPop idol Young K, he squealed in the middle of the damn café, attracting the attention of every single person inside. One of the baristas rushed to their table, prepared to give Wonpil the Heimlich maneuver thinking that he was choking on one of their breads. Sungjin has laughed at him for five minutes straight.

Wonpil chuckles at Sungjin’s tone. “Well we’re the complete opposite when it comes to dealing with our best friends. Mine usually keeps to himself and would hardly ever tell me, or anyone else for that matter, how he really feels so I kind of had to work hard to be able to read him without having to say anything. While yours figuratively transforms his feelings into songs for everyone to hear.” Sungjin nods in agreement. “What happened to him anyway, why was he sulking?”

“He met his ex’s kid the other day. I mean, I really can’t blame him though. Imagine how he feels, he’s still in love with the guy even after all these years, hoping to get back together with him only to suddenly meet his kid. And from what I hear, the kid basically adores Younghyun. So on top of that misery is the crushing guilt that he feels for resenting the kid’s existence in the first place.” Sungjin tells Wonpil, already feeling sorry for complaining about taking care of Younghyun when he’s in that state. And he couldn’t even bring himself to fault Younghyun for still having feelings for Jae, Sungjin knows how much the older meant to his friend. Hell, even Younghyun’s music career revolved around the yearning he feels for Jae.

Seeing the concerned look slipping on Sungjin’s expression, Wonpil couldn’t help but to want to help him. “You know what, why don’t you invite him to our dinner this Friday? It’ll do him good for going out of the house. And besides, since you’re meeting _my_ best friend, I want to meet yours as well. I promise I’ll behave.”

“I don’t know,” Sungjin hesitantly replies. “I would love for Younghyun to meet you but I’m not sure if he’ll be willing to come. I can try to convince him though.”

“Then that’s enough for me.” Wonpil flashes him a smile, adapting an excited glint in his eyes as he adds, “Speaking of my best friend, do you mind coming with me to the music store? I’m planning on buying his son, Jisoo, a book full of classical sheet music. Jaehyung would never let me say it but I just know for sure that I’m the reason his son got into playing the piano. He’s just bitter because his son didn’t take after him for playing the guitar.” He shares with a good-natured laugh.

Sungjin watches Wonpil with a fond look in his eyes. A few days ago, when he learned that Wonpil plays the piano, it became the final nail on Sungjin’s coffin. See, he’s got a thing for cute pianists. And well, for Sungjin, this also means that Wonpil is good with his fingers.

“You’re already corrupting the kid right under his dad’s nose.” He jokes, making Wonpil scoff playfully.

“No way, I love that kid so damn much. Here, look,” Wonpil pulls out his phone to show Sungjin a picture of him playing the piano with Jisoo sitting on his lap, watching with large, curious eyes. “The kid loves me too, obviously.”

A warm feeling spreads through Sungjin as he looks at the picture. He notices the playfulness and joy in Wonpil’s eyes easily matching that of Jisoo’s.

 _‘Adorable’,_ Sungjin thinks to himself.

Wonpil swipes the screen to the right, revealing another picture. His eyes light up as he starts to share the story behind it, “This was taken right before we poured ice cubes down his father’s back. Jaehyung almost immediately banished me from their house so I never got to tell him that it was actually Jisoo’s idea but it was absolutely worth it. You can clearly see how he had no idea what was about to hit him.”

As he’s about to take a look, Sungjin does a double take as his eyes land on the display. _‘Is that…’_ He questions, frowning slightly. He leans forward in his seat to get a better look at Jisoo’s dad. Gone was the guy’s blond hair, replaced with dark brown and highlights. The usual wireframed glasses are nowhere to be seen but Sungjin knows that face. He’s seen it every time he comes into Younghyun’s room to wake the idol up for another schedule.

“Hey, Wonpil?” Sungjin reluctantly starts, not taking his eyes away from the phone. “What’s Jaehyung’s full name?”

“Park Jaehyung.” Wonpil easily replies. “But he goes by Jae Park now. Why, does he seem familiar to you?”

 _‘A fucking small world, indeed.’_ Sungjin thinks.

“Oh, not really. He just reminded me of someone.” He lies to Wonpil. And he instantly feels bad about it but he’s also trying to decide whether or not he will tell Younghyun about this first. It clearly has the potential to hurt his friend further.

Wonpil hums in response, oblivious to Sungjin’s inner turmoil and already scrolling to another picture of him with Jisoo and Jae. And as he does so, Sungjin studies each shot. He easily gets what Younghyun meant when the latter said that Jae’s finally happy now. He also couldn’t help but notice one vital and constant thing in all these pictures. Or rather, the absence of it.

“Hey, Wonpil?” He starts in the same reluctant tone, afraid to voice the question but knows that he wouldn’t forgive himself if he walks away later without getting answers for his friend. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but, in these pictures, why is it only Jae and Jisoo? Where’s Jisoo’s mom?”

Understanding spreads through Wonpil’s expression, softening his features into a gentle smile as he informs Sungjin, “Legally, Jaehyung’s not allowed to know anything about her. We don’t even know where she is right now actually. You see, Jae adopted Jisoo from the adoption center when the kid was only a couple months old. Poor Jisoo was left at their doorstep by his mom with only a note stating the kid’s name. So, when Jae signed the adoption papers, he wanted to add a stipulation that states that the biological mom can never know anything about Jisoo’s new home unless Jisoo himself actually wants to meet his mom in the future.”

Sungjin’s eyebrows raises in surprise. Well, that’s certainly news to him and Younghyun. He nods in contemplation as he continues, “I totally get that…” he pauses, asking the most important question currently plaguing his mind at the moment. “So, is Jaehyung a single dad then? Or is he dating anyone right now?”

This pulls an uncertain frown to appear on Wonpil’s face. “He’s actually been single for as long as I can remember. He would have a few flings every now and then but none of them stayed long enough and are deemed worthy enough for Jaehyung to introduce them to Jisoo. Why the sudden curiosity, Sungjin? Are you attracted to him?”

Seeing the obvious disappointment radiating off of Wonpil, Sungjin is quick to clarify. “Oh no, I’m not, promise! I just—” Sungjin sighs, composing himself. “Look, I really can’t say anything right now but I swear I’ll tell you everything after dinner on Friday. That is, if you’re free to stay out ‘til late at night with me?”

“Hm…” Wonpil purses him lips, pretending to think. “That depends.”

“On what?”

Wonpil leans closer to Sungjin from across the table. “On whether it’ll be our first official date or not.”

The tips of Sungjin’s lips lift in a slow smile. “Only if you want it to be.”

“Oh, I definitely do.”

  
  


“Younghyun, you _idiot_!” Younghyun startles awake from the couch as Sungjin slams the front door close. Groggily, Younghyun looks around the living room and sees the video game still on standby mode, the console lying on the floor by his feet. A half-empty bag of chips rests on the coffee table having been left there untouched since Sungjin went out the house half-past six in the evening. The clock tells Younghyun that it’s well past eleven now.

“—I can’t believe I’m friends with a coward and a dumbass. A cowardly dumbass!” Sungjin continues in his loud ranting as he looms over Younghyun. “If only you’ve been brave enough to actually _talk_ to him, you wouldn’t be moping around like this! And look at this mess you’ve surrounded yourself with!” He gestures around the room, pointing at the crumbs on Younghyun’s shirt and sweatpants. “Have you even left the couch in five hours? Taken a shower perhaps? Normally, I would let you wallow in your own misery but not after what I found out tonight. I swear to God, Younghyun, you have no idea how lucky you are to have me. No idea!”

Confused, and a little amused at the growing frustration on Sungjin’s face, Younghyun sits up straighter, brushing off the crumbs from his shirt. “What are you going on about?”

Sungjin takes a deep breath, calming himself. He plops down beside Younghyun on the couch, resting his head against one of the throw pillows. The past few hours have been a roller coaster ride full of jarring revelations for Sungjin and he can only imagine how Younghyun will be able to handle them. Taking another look at his friend’s state, he decides to hold off until the latter has fully awakened and is at least looking presentable. “Clean yourself up first, you buffoon. I’m not going to tell you anything unless you take a shower. You stink, man.”

Younghyun groans in complaint. “Do I really have to?”

Sungjin gives him a meaningful look. “Trust me, man. You’ll definitely want to hear about it when you’ve already freshened up.”

“You’re being so dramatic, why can’t you just tell me about it now?”

Sungjin sighs for the millionth time that night. _Dear Lord, give me patience_. “It’s about Jae, okay?” Well that shuts Younghyun up. “So get yourself cleaned up, then we’ll talk. Because this is definitely going to be a long one.”

Wordlessly, Younghyun stands up and does as he’s told. He’s never showered faster in his life than the way he did right now.

Minutes later, Younghyun walks back into the living room wearing a different set of shirt and sweatpants.

Sungjin gives him an amused look as the former idol takes a seat on the couch. “That was quick.” He says with a mocking tone.

Younghyun takes a deep breath. “Just give it to me straight, man. I can take it.”

The frustration that’s Sungjin’s been feeling from earlier goes back to him as he starts, “Remember from two years ago when you stopped writing music because you saw Jae with Jisoo?”

Younghyun frowns. “Yeah?”

“And almost three days ago when you saw them again at the grocery store?”

“Yes, I remember, Sungjin. Now what about them?”

Sungjin turns in his seat to face Younghyun directly. “During both times, you could’ve told Jae all of the things you wanted to tell him, asked all the questions you wanted to be answered. And yet, you didn’t.”

“We’ve been over this, Sungjin.” Younghyun rolls his eyes. “I didn’t go up and talk to him because it was obvious that he’s already—”

Sungjin cuts off his excuses. “If you _have_ talked to him, only then you could’ve known that Jae adopted Jisoo and that he’s actually a single father. That he’s been raising Jisoo all by himself since the beginning.”

Younghyun feels the urge to slap Sungjin. How dare he lie to Younghyun like this? Luckily for the latter, Younghyun feels completely frozen and can only utter a disbelieving “ _What?_ ”

The other had the audacity to smirk at Younghyun’s deer-in-the-headlights expression. “Of course, you wouldn’t know because you’re an idiot and a coward.”

“It’s not funny, Sungjin.” Younghyun’s fists clenches at his sides. However, it’s not out of anger but out of the sudden burst of hope that floods his chest. And he hates it. He hasn’t dared himself to think that because it’s definitely going to be a long way down when he falls again.

“Oh, I know.” Sungjin easily replies. “It’s far from funny. It’s ridiculously hilarious! Honestly, Younghyun, you’re like literally the mastermind of your own destruction. A self-saboteur, if you will. All those nights that you’ve cried over Jae would have completely been unnecessary.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” Younghyun asks him in a whisper.

Upon seeing the tears that started forming in his friend’s eyes, Sungjin decides to cut him some slack. “Listen, the guy that I’ve been seeing lately is actually Jae’s best friend, Kim Wonpil. He’s the one who told me about Jae and Jisoo. If it makes you feel any better, he also told me that Jae hasn’t been with anyone serious for years now, no one worthy enough to meet his son. And ironically, here you are, already having inside jokes with the kid after having met him for less than an hour.”

Younghyun shakily reaches a hand out to touch Sungjin’s shoulder. He doesn’t know what he’s actually seeking for—stability? Support? —but whatever it is, Sungjin places his hand on top of Younghyun’s in response. “Wait, so is it really true?”

Sungjin nods with a heavy sigh in confirmation.

Younghyun’s heart felt as if it doubles in size. He feels himself grapple for that last bit of logic as he reasons, “But this doesn’t change things, not really, for me and Jae. He’s already built a happy life here for him and his son. I don’t want to ruin that.”

Sungjin frowns at Younghyun’s pessimistic words. “Are you sure it doesn’t? I mean, two days ago you were so sure that Jae was married and you’ve been crying about it because you thought that it’s really over for you and him. And now, after finding out that he’s actually single, you tell me that it doesn’t change anything? Come on, Younghyun. If you choose not to do anything then _of course_ nothing will change. And who says you’re going to ruin whatever Jae has right now? Stop selling yourself short, man. You were teenagers then, but you’re both adults now. You’ve grown a lot, been through a whole lot more, and now you’re both better versions of yourselves because of them. So who knows? Maybe you’ll even be a great addition to Jae’s life, either as a lover or a friend, whatever and however Jae lets you become in it. Why don’t you just try to get to know about this new life he’s made for himself and try to rebuild things with him? Treat this as a clean slate. Just do better this time around.”

Younghyun mulls over Sungjin’s words. Self-preservation tells him to be cautious, that it’s not worth it, and that his heart cannot handle another heartbreak when this all once again blows over in his face. But another part of him, the one that’s always been there constantly loving Jae unconditionally, tells him that this is what he’s been waiting for—a chance to have Jae back in his life. For once, he’s actually let himself have hope; he flourishes in it.

Determined, he sits straighter as he tells Sungjin, “I need to make a game plan.”

Sungjin snorts at him. “Lucky for you, I already have one.”

“What is it? I have his calling card; do I give him a call or what?”

“You can do that, but I have a better idea. Wonpil invited me to dinner this Friday to introduce me to Jae.” Sungjin informs him. “And guess what, he extended an invite to you as well. So, are you going?”

Younghyun’s eyes widens in excitement. “I most definitely am. I swear to God, Sungjin, you better marry this guy!”

Sungjin just chuckles in response.

  
  


“Are we all good?” Jae asks Dowoon as he’s standing at the living room, watching Jisoo practicing his drums in the corner.

“Yes, Jae.” Dowoon tells him, amused. “Honestly, I’ve been baby-sitting Jisoo for more than a year now, don’t worry. We’ll be fine for the night.”

Jae chuckles. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“I understand.” Dowoon assures him with a chuckle as well.

Jae grabs his phone from the coffee table, glancing at the screen to once again check if a certain someone has either texted or called him. It’s been two days and still nothing. Maybe he should’ve just asked for Younghyun’s contact details instead. He could have easily invited Younghyun over to dinner to catch up and introduce him to Wonpil. _‘Maybe he’s been busy…’_ Jae thinks with a sigh before pocketing his phone.

“Jae?” Dowoon calls to him, looking as if he’s asked a question that Jae obviously did not hear.

“What is it?”

“I asked what time you think you’ll be coming home.” Dowoon tells him.

Checking his watch and seeing that it’s already 6:30, he decides that three hours is already long enough of a time to spend on dinner and hopefully getting acquainted with Wonpil’s crush.

“Probably before ten in the evening, if that’s alright with you?” He asks Dowoon.

“More than alright. I don’t have plans for tomorrow anyway.”

“There’s extra money inside the drawers under the television just in case Jisoo wants to order in dessert. I already called ahead from his favorite Korean restaurant to have your dinner be delivered around seven.” Jae tells Dowoon before walking over to his son. “I’ll be leaving now, Jisoo.”

Jisoo stands up from his chair and quickly giving Jae’s legs a hug. “Bye, dad!”

Jae crouches down to match his son’s height, wrapping his hands tightly around him, and kissing the top of Jisoo’s head. “Behave for Dowoon-ie, okay?”

“Yes, dad.” Jisoo happily runs back to his set, picking up where he left off.

“Alright then,” Jae walks towards the front door, stopping just short of opening it as he faces the younger one more time. “Just, contact me if you need anything else, okay, Dowoon?”

“I already have you on speed-dial.” Dowoon reassures him with a smile. “Go meet with Wonpil already, he must’ve been waiting for minutes now.”

“No, he actually went ahead to pick-up his man. That snake.” Dowoon laughs at Jae’s words. Typical Wonpil. “I’m meeting them at the restaurant instead.” Jae runs his hands through his hair before finally going out the door.

“Have fun with dinner. Say hi to Wonpil for me.” Dowoon waves to Jae as the older walks out to the driveway and into the night.

Jae arrives first at the restaurant, a quick walking distance from his house, so he chooses for them a table located at the farthest corner away from the door, the distance allowing them to have a certain degree of privacy. He recalls that Wonpil asked him to be on this dinner, not only to meet Sungjin, but also to be his friend’s wingman. But deep down, he knows that Wonpil can easily manage on his own. Between the two of them, Wonpil’s list of past lovers beats Jae’s by a landslide. However, Jae also notices that this is one of the rarest times that Wonpil asked for his help so maybe, just maybe, this crush of his actually means something more.

When he hears one of the servers greet the newcomers, Jae’s eyes flit to the doors. He sees Wonpil glancing around the restaurant, looking for him. Jae lifts his hand in a wave, catching the younger’s attention. As Wonpil approaches the table, Jae frowns a little in confusion as he sees two other guys with Wonpil. He sees the guy with the beautiful eyes (as described by Wonpil) who he assumes is Sungjin walking directly beside Wonpil and another guy, head bent down and face completely hidden by Sungjin’s wide frame. Once they’re close enough, Jae stands up to greet them.

“Jae, I want you to meet Sungjin.” Wonpil proudly introduces them with a glint in his eyes. “Sungjin, my best friend, Jae.”

“Nice to finally meet you, man.” Jae holds his hand out to shake Sungjin’s. “Wonpil won’t shut up about you.”

Upon hearing his words, Jae sees Sungjin’s cheeks turn pink. “Oh, really?” Sungjin’s tone betrays him as his words come out a little flustered.

Jae hears a chuckle and when he looks up, he sees the other guy stepping out from behind Sungjin. “Don’t worry, Wonpil. Sungjin’s been talking non-stop about you, too.”

“Brian?” Jae faces the other, looking adorably confused. “What are you doing here?”

Jae watches as Younghyun timidly runs a hand through his hair before replying. “Sungjin’s my best friend and since Wonpil wanted to meet me, he invited me to dinner. I hope that’s okay with you?”

Jae’s eyebrows raise at Younghyun’s hesitant tone. “Of course. Why did you think that it won’t be okay with me?”

“Oh, no reason, really.” Younghyun flashes him a smile, his shoulder visibly relaxing. “Also, I’m sorry I didn’t try to contact you sooner. I just wanted to surprise you here at dinner.”

Jae can’t help but flush at Younghyun’s words. He’s usually so good at playing casual but when he’s being taken off guard like this, his brain scrambles. He so clearly wasn’t prepared to face Younghyun right now, especially when there’s other people around. He barely even managed to compose himself when he saw the younger two days ago. As he struggles to come up with a reply, he feels eyes on him. He sees Wonpil giving him a questioning look, probably wondering why he’s suddenly being so awkward, and at the same time, he also sees the look that passes between Sungjin and Younghyun.

Jae clears his throat, trying to get back on track. “It’s really good to see you, dude.” As he’s about to reach a hand out, Younghyun walks around the table to give him a hug.

Jae freezes as he’s bombarded with Younghyun’s familiar scent. He feels Younghyun bury his face on his neck and Jae is _this_ close to breathing him in. He subconsciously returns the hug, feeling Younghyun relax against him as he does.

Wonpil clearing his throat is what breaks them from their moment. They step away from each other, Jae looking anywhere but at Younghyun. “Why don’t we all take a seat and order first before you all tell me how the hell you two know each other?”

The other three follow Wonpil’s suit as they all sat down. Jae is seated beside his best friend with Younghyun across from him and Sungjin across from Wonpil; like a proper double date. Except it’s not a date. At least not for Jae and Younghyun.

The table is quiet as everyone checked the menu for different reasons; Sungjin and Wonpil are trying to decipher the weird atmosphere, Jae is internally berating himself while trying to keep his shit together to appear as friendly and unbothered as possible, and Younghyun is anxious because he can almost feel the relief, longing, and love he has for Jae bursting out of his chest—he wants nothing more than to tell Jae that he’s still in love with him but he also knows that if he wants to be let into the older’s life again, he has to do things on Jae’s pace. Although he had already been pushing the boundaries a little for the past few minutes, he feels it’s somewhat warranted because for two whole years, he’s been led to believe (by himself, but that’s not the point) that the love of his life is married.

Wonpil flags down a waiter and after the server leaves with their orders, Wonpil gets down to business. “So, how do you two know each other?” He lowers his voice as he continues, “and Jae, why didn’t you tell me you knew _the_ Young K?”

Involuntarily, Jae and Younghyun share a look. It was Jae who speaks up first. “Um, w-we were actually—”

“We’re roommates in college.” Younghyun finishes for him, saving Jae from having to say that they’re ex-boyfriends. Well, Jae must have had his reasons for not telling even his best friend Wonpil about his past relationship with the former idol. He knows how much Jae hates being forced to share a detail about himself to anyone unprompted so he decided to save the older from having to answer.

They subtly share another look and Younghyun’s heart floors when he sees Jae giving him a small nod in appreciation. Try as he might, Younghyun couldn’t hide the satisfied smile on his face just from that quick exchange.

_‘See, Jae? After all these years, I can still read you like an open book.’_

“Oh, so that’s way before you became an idol, right?” Wonpil asks, to which Younghyun nods in response. Wonpil visibly gets excited as he asks, “What was Jae like in college? Was he still the same awkward and gangly giant like he is right now? And please, if you have prime blackmail-worthy information about this guy, feel free to share it to the table.”

Younghyun chuckles at his words while Jae just glares at his friend. As he fondly recalls the Jae that he’s dated in college, Younghyun’s features soften as he shares, “He was actually a brilliant student. Top of the class, loved by his classmates and professors, and just an absolute joy to be with. Whenever I had to pull an all-nighter for an exam, he would try to stay up as late as he can just to keep me company. Honestly, I wouldn’t have survived college without him. He’s the best b—” Younghyun catches himself. “—roommate I’ve ever had.”

Jae’s heart beats faster in his chest at hearing Younghyun’s words. Once again, he couldn’t bring himself to meet Younghyun’s piercing gaze.

“Wow, that’s… surprisingly good to hear, Brian.” Wonpil comments as he turns to face Sungjin. “See what I mean? Your best friend is a thousand times nicer than mine.”

Younghyun merely smiles in response.

The dinner went on for almost two hours. And during it all, Jae’s confusion just keeps on growing. He’s basically confused with Younghyun’s actions. When the food came, Younghyun volunteered to cut up pieces of steak for him, waving off Jae’s half-hearted protests. Their hands kept bumping and accidentally touching on the table even though it wasn’t that small to begin with. He noticed the younger’s subtle advances and efforts to try to talk to him more as Younghyun kept including him on most of the conversations, and he’s also always either asking permission from Jae or just generally being careful around Jae. “What do you think, Jae?”, “Is that alright with you, Jae?” And Jae can’t really blame him. They haven’t seen each other in years, it’s obvious that Younghyun isn’t too confident on how to act around the older. He’d be a bit forward one second and then go completely polite and shy the next. It’s like they’re both trying to find their footing again, looking for a common ground.

And it’s not that he minded the younger doing those things, he secretly loved the attention, but he’s just confused and a little curious of the intentions behind them.

As their night wraps up, Wonpil informs Jae and Younghyun, “Sungjin and I actually have plans after this. We’re going to drive to a milk factory that’s open for 24 hours and is famous for their strawberry milk. It’s about an hour from here, you two are free to join if you want.”

Jae was quick to decline. “Can’t. Dowoon, my sitter, needs to leave thirty minutes from now.”

“Well then, I’m out, too.” Younghyun adds. “It’s obviously a date between you two. I have zero plans of being a third-wheel.”

Wonpil chuckles. “Good. We’ll be off now, good night guys.” He grabs Sungjin’s hand and basically pulls him in the direction of the exit. That leaves Jae and Younghyun.

Jae clears his throat, catching Younghyun’s attention. “Are you heading home, too?”

“Yeah, Sungjin and Wonpil were actually my ride coming here but fortunately, my house is only a few blocks away.” Younghyun tells him with a smile.

“We better get going then since I’ll be walking home too.”

As Jae’s about to stand up, Younghyun reaches a hand out to grab the older’s arm. His eyes give Jae a pleading look as he says, “Let me walk you home, hyung.” He adds in a softer tone, “For old time’s sake.”

It’s been so long since he’s heard Younghyun calling him with that honorific. Something in his heart softens and when he looks back at Younghyun’s hand on his arm, he finds himself agreeing. And really, how can Jae ever say no to that face?

As they walked wordlessly on the streets, soft ambient lights being illuminated by the streetlamps, the silence was surprisingly not awkward. It was comfortable. Their fingers kept brushing by their sides and either they didn’t notice it or they just didn’t dare ruin the serene moment, neither moving away from each other’s proximity. Younghyun couldn’t help but notice how easy it is for him to fall back into the familiarity and security of having Jae’s presence beside him. For Jae’s part, he has finally been able to think back and analyze the events from tonight.

As Younghyun starts to tell Jae how pleasant it was to meet Jisoo, Jae interrupts him by saying, “What are you doing, Brian?”

Jae notices how Younghyun tries to put on a confused look. And he may be a brilliant singer but he definitely isn’t an actor as Jae easily sees right through him. That, or Jae still just knows Younghyun like the back of his hand.

They stopped walking as they stood facing each other in the middle of the street.

Subconsciously hugging himself, Jae continues “Please don’t pretend that you haven’t been doing anything in the past two hours or so. I know you, Brian.”

Younghyun sighs heavily. He’s looking down at his feet as he says in a small voice, “I missed you, Jae. I didn’t notice just how much until I actually got to spend time with you again. I’m sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable but I just really missed having you around.”

_‘There. I’ve said it.’_

Jae’s heart melts at Younghyun’s words and the way he looked while uttering them. Younghyun’s still looking down, hands fidgeting, as if he’s ashamed or scared that Jae would send him away.

Jae surprises himself as well as he starts to say, “I missed having you around too, Brian.”

Younghyun quickly looks up to meet Jae’s tender gaze. With shining eyes, he asks, “You really mean that?”

“Of course, I do.” Jae tells him, chuckling softly at Younghyun’s surprised expression. “Look, I heard that you’ve retired from the industry and you’re all about starting over now so, why don’t we just start fresh as well? Forget everything that’s happened, it’s all in the past after all. I’d really love for us to start over, too.”

Younghyun nods with bated breath as he lets Jae lead the conversation. His eyes widen slightly as he sees Jae reaching out a hand to him.

“So,” Jae starts, “friends?”

A million things instantly run through Younghyun’s mind. This is it, the chance he’s been praying for. It might not have been the kind of chance that he initially wanted but it’s still a chance nonetheless. He’s just really glad that Jae’s still willing to let him back into his life.

Their hands meet in the middle as Younghyun agrees, “Friends.”

They shake a few times before Jae is once again flooded with Younghyun’s scent as the younger pulls him into a bone-crushing hug.

“I said we’re friends.” Jae playfully chides him while wrapping his hands around Younghyun’s body.

“What, friends hug too.” Younghyun reasons as he savors the feel of being back in Jae’s arms.

Jae just chuckles in response. His eyes closing as he feels the weight that’s been there is finally being lifted off his chest.

As they continued walking, it’s no longer silent between them. The atmosphere feels light and easy. They talked about a number of things: Jisoo, Sungjin and Wonpil, Jae’s work, and Younghyun’s plans for his early retirement. They found themselves easily falling back into their old habits of bantering and light bickering. The two seemed like they wouldn’t run out of things to talk about anytime soon but unfortunately, they’ve already reached Jae’s house.

After bidding their goodbyes, Jae looks back at Younghyun standing just a few steps away.

“Good night, BriBri.”

“Good night, hyung.”


	4. hi, hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're getting there...

It’s been almost a month since that eventful dinner took place when Jae finds himself in a situation. As their city government’s consulting architect after taking over when his father retired, he usually has more freedom and control over his work hours now than he had before. But at times when the annual planning and development take place, those are also the busiest time of the year for Jae. As he’s called into another emergency meeting with the planning department, he realizes the time a little too late as he’s about to once again return to the City Hall. He’s supposed to pick up his son, Jisoo, from the summer music program in less than an hour. However, judging from the urgency of the tone the mayor’s secretary called him with, Jae is pretty sure he cannot skip the meeting.

In a hurry, he tries calling Dowoon last minute. Jae impatiently taps his right foot as he waits. Luckily, the younger picks up on the fifth ring.

“Hey, Dowoon, I’m sorry to do this but,” Jae starts, skipping the pleasantries. “Are you free to pick up Jisoo in about an hour? I have an urgent meeting that I just can’t—”

“Oh, I’m really sorry Jae,” Dowoon interrupts him as he feels his heart sink at the former’s words. “I’m already on my way to grad school to meet with my professor. The university is about an hour and a half away, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it back in time.”

Jae curses. He pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to come up with other alternatives on the fly.

“Why don’t you try asking Wonpil, maybe he’s free.” Dowoon helpfully suggests.

“Wonpil’s out on a trip at Napa Valley with Sungjin.” Jae informs him, sighing heavily. “They won’t be home until tomorrow.”

“I’m really sorry, Jae.” Dowoon tells him, not knowing what else to do.

“It’s alright, Dowoon, I’ll figure it out.” Jae says, assuring himself more than the younger as they end the call.

Jae considers calling the school beforehand to inform them that he’ll be late for picking up his son but then he’s also not sure how long the meeting will take. Depending on the matter at hand, these things can take from two to six hours and he just can’t put Jisoo through the uncertainty of waiting that long. As he’s racking his brain for other options, the sound of his phone ringing, alerting him of a new message, distracts his thoughts.

 **Brian Kang:  
  
** _I made too many servings of ramyeon and samgyupsal  
_ _Think Jisoo will be down to try?_

 _‘Of course!’_ Jae almost face-palms himself for forgetting to ask Younghyun. Ever since they started fresh, Jae was pleasantly surprised when Younghyun told him that the younger also wanted to get to know his son a little bit more. Younghyun said that when he was accompanying Jisoo at the store while waiting for Jae to find them when he first met the child, he and Jisoo have developed a bond. And Jae couldn’t hide the fact that his son adores Younghyun too. Especially with the way Jisoo proudly told his dad how he and Younghyun have a secret that he will never tell a single soul, not even Jae. So, Younghyun has asked for Jae’s permission more than once if he could take Jisoo out to have ice cream at the kid’s favorite store, or go shopping, or just about any activity Younghyun can think of, to which Jae is often inclined to give him.

Over the course of the past month, Younghyun and Jisoo have gone out on a trip, no matter how quick they were, at least once a week. Jae would have loved to join them even just once but he’s been so busy these days so he just settles to texting Younghyun for a recap of their day.

 **Jae Park:  
  
** _Hey, Brian?_

_Yeah?_

_I’m sorry to do this to you but  
I kinda need a favor_

_Anything, hyung.  
:)_

Jae couldn’t help a smile to easily spread across his face after reading the honorific. Even though Wonpil and Dowoon are Koreans, they’re both born in America and grew up in a mostly English-speaking household. Between the three of them, Jae’s the most fluent in speaking Hangul. And that’s saying a lot since he only lived in Korea all throughout college (well, Wonpil’s quite fluent too actually but he’s made it known that he won’t call Jae ‘hyung’ because he claims that they’re “equals”, whatever he meant by that). So, his heart warms upon getting to be called ‘hyung’ again after a long time. It feels strangely satisfying. Or maybe it’s just because it’s Younghyun calling him by that honorific and with the soft and sweet way he says it. Tomatoes, to-mah-toes.

 _Are you free to pick up Jisoo from summer school?  
They’re calling me for an urgent meeting  
I just can’t ditch it.  
Plus, Dowoon is already at grad school.  
_ _And, well, you already know where Wonpil and Sungjin are._

 _Jae, chill.  
_ _Of course, I’ll be there to pick him up.  
_ _Don’t worry.  
_ _He gets out at 3:30 in the afternoon, right?_

 _Yup!  
_ _And I’m really sorry to spring this up on you, Bri.  
_ _I promise I’ll make it up to you sometime._

_I’ll be holding you to that, Jae ;)_

Heaving a sigh of relief, Jae is finally able to leave his house for work. He doesn’t even know the reason why but he feels a sudden calm to wash over him at the thought of leaving his son under Younghyun’s care. He’s always known that the younger is good with kids since he’s also essentially a kid at heart. He just knows that he trusts Younghyun, has seen how gentle Younghyun is with his kid, and quite frankly, something flickers in his chest every time he sees Younghyun with Jisoo. But since he’s not ready to put words into that yet, he decides to ignore that fluttering feeling to deal with for later. It’s the kind of exhilarating feeling that he hasn’t felt in more than fifteen years. And as he’s repressing the thought, a certain memory, one that Jae believed he has already buried in the hidden recesses of his mind, resurfaces and hits Jae at full force.

Their classes have finally let up, giving way for a three-week-long winter break without having impending homework that needed to be submitted once school resumes in the new year. Taking advantage of this, Jae and Younghyun decided to finally go on a road trip, one that they have been planning for long before. Since it’s only about five months left before they graduate college, they felt like an opportunity better than this one won’t present itself again, at least in the near future.

It was during hour four of the long drive when Younghyun’s phone rang in the center console. Younghyun, not wanting to take his concentration away from the road, asked Jae to answer it for him. And plus, well, while his left hand is guiding the steering wheel, he doesn’t want his other hand to let go of Jae’s as he had their fingers intertwined between them.

“What’s up, it’s Jae.” Jae greeted, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

“Good day, I’m looking for Kang Younghyun-ssi?” A male voice asked, his tone and manner of speaking scream formal and professional.

“Hold on, he’s right here.” Jae and Younghyun shared a look as Jae enabled loudspeaker for the call using his free hand.

Younghyun spoke up. “This is Kang Younghyun.”

“Yes, hi, Younghyun-ssi,” the guy continued, his voice adopting a cheerful tone. “Congratulations! This is Han Seok Woo, Mr. Lee Seung Sol-nim’s assistant. I’m calling on behalf of _Avant-Garde_ _Entertainment_ and we just want to let you know that our PD-nim loved your demo and would like to speak with you personally! We’re hoping that we could set you up for an appointment with him as soon as possible.”

Surprised, Younghyun swerved the car to the right, quickly parking it on the side of the road. Jae and Younghyun stared at each other, neither uttering a single word in disbelief.

_‘Is this a prank or something?’_

They both never expected that this songwriting hobby of Younghyun would actually have a chance of becoming something serious. Well, Jae did but it was Younghyun who didn’t want to get his hopes up. It’s not that he thought his talents wouldn’t amount to anything, it’s just that he had a more realistic view on things and since they’re about to graduate, his mindset laid on the assurance and certainty that their respective careers would entail. Besides, Younghyun hadn’t been actively pursuing that dream. But when one of their classmates offered to send in Younghyun’s demo to the agency through his sister who works directly under the CEO, Jae convinced Younghyun to give it a try. And since Younghyun thought that he won’t stand to lose anything whether they reject him or not (plus, Jae can be really convincing when he wants to be; his lips can make Younghyun do just about anything), he decided to send in his most-prized song, his gift to Jae—written about Jae and written _for_ Jae. So, when he hasn’t heard anything back from the company in weeks, the thought easily slipped his mind.

“Hello? Are you still there?”

“Y-yes, sorry. I’m still here.” Younghyun managed to say, his voice shaking.

The man cleared his throat, getting them back on track. “Are you free to come by the office Monday next week, say, 10 in the morning? Should you accept, the agenda is to go over the drafting of your contract and what representing you would entail. The plans aren’t solid yet but from what I’ve gathered, you’re on the track to becoming one of the company’s soloists.”

Younghyun’s jaw dropped, his mouth failing him as he struggled to come up with a decent reply.

It was Jae who saved him from doing so. “He’ll be there, I promise. 10am Monday. Looking forward to it. Thank you _so_ much!”

“That’s good to hear.”

They can hear the smile on the man’s voice as he continued to give them additional details for Monday before ending the call.

The car was bathed in stunned silence as Jae and Younghyun tried to process what just occurred. Just when they thought the day couldn’t get any better, the universe certainly has a great way of proving them wrong. Their grip on each other’s hands tightened, the only thing tethering themselves to reality. Their gaze was unwavering. The world ceased to exist and nothing else mattered besides the two of them.

It was Jae who dared to break the silence, his voice nothing more than a mere whisper. “BriBri…”

“Jae…”

“Bri!

“Jae!”

“Oh my God, Bri, you made it!” Jae let go of Younghyun’s hand before grabbing the latter’s face with both hands. “I’m so proud of you!”

Tears started forming in Jae’s eyes, his heart suddenly overflowing with pure adoration and happiness for his boyfriend. He has always been Younghyun’s number one fan, always encouraging the younger to play him a song in their dorm, always there whenever Younghyun would go busking, always crying after hearing Younghyun’s songs for him for the first time.

Younghyun wiped a tear that escaped on Jae’s cheek, feeling the warmth of the older’s gaze envelop him fully. He chuckled softly at how Jae had easily beat him into crying.

“Will you come with me on Monday?” He asked, a fond smile finding its way onto his face.

“Of course, baby.” Jae replied, leaning his forehead against the other’s. “I’ll be there with you every step of the way. For as long as you want me to.”

_‘Oh Jae, I will never stop wanting you.’_

His eyes shone at Jae’s words, knowing full well that he will have Jae’s support through all of this. His promise leaving no room for Younghyun to doubt anything. He can do this. He _will_ do this. Because he knows that Jae has faith in him.

As a way of letting his feelings known, Younghyun closed the distance between their lips. He kissed Jae slowly, delicately, feeling the latter sigh against his lips, melting into him, before opening his mouth on instinct and completely baring himself to the younger.

Younghyun gripped the front of Jae’s shirt, bringing the older’s body closer to his as he devoured Jae’s lower lip, playfully biting and pulling, licking into his mouth. Younghyun has always had a deep fascination with Jae’s lips; they’re just so full and inexplicably sexy, a complete contrast to his boyfriend’s overall cute image. Add in the fact that Younghyun knows just how great those lips are at pulling out delightful and sinful sounds from him.

The kiss was quickly escalating into something more, hands beginning their exploration, as Jae’s hand makes a move to unbutton Younghyun’s jeans when they were both startled apart by a loud honk coming from a passing car on the road.

Jae’s breathless as he suggested, “Maybe we should continue this somewhere more private.”

“I agree.” Younghyun goes in for another kiss before hightailing it out of the side of the road.

He drove for a couple more minutes, praying to all things holy that they don’t get into an accident as he hears the sound of his belt buckle being opened, followed by the button of his jeans, and down goes his zipper. His breath hitches as he immediately felt Jae’s hand reaching inside the waistband of his boxers before grabbing his cock, jerking him off to get him fully erect but still going slowly to keep Younghyun wanting more.

_‘Such a tease.’_

His knuckles were tight around the steering wheel, trying his hardest to prevent his eyes from closing in sweet ecstasy. Someone from up above must’ve heard his prayers because Younghyun quickly sees a small clearing that’s overlooking a small town. And if he parks the car _just_ at a certain angle from the road, the two large boulders at the opening would easily hide them from any wandering eyes.

Jae seemed to be sharing the same thought as he smirked at Younghyun saying, “Well, what are you waiting for?”

Younghyun did not need to be told twice.

Despite the location where it took place (at the back of Younghyun's truck), they did it slow. Instead of having the need to do it fast and hard brought about by the exciting news as one would expect, they wanted to remember everything. They took their time completely savoring each sound that came out of the other’s mouth; every moan, every gasp, every whisper, a perfect symphony.

Jae wanted Younghyun to know how proud he was of the latter while Younghyun wanted Jae to know just how much he treasured him. So, they talked with their bodies. Their hands carefully claimed their favorite parts, their lips never left the other’s skin. They took note of every detail; Younghyun’s neck being peppered with marks, Jae’s name becoming a sound of worship from Younghyun’s lips as he fucked into the younger. It was honestly one of the most tender sex they’ve ever had.

Love and lust coexisted beautifully.

It wasn’t just their bodies that became one that night; they felt it reach their souls. It was the kind that meant something. One that held a deeper meaning. One that took them to a special place, both knowing that they would never forget the way they felt at that moment for the rest of the lives.

The ringing of Jae’s phone breaks him from the daze that he’s currently in. He checks the screen to see that it’s the mayor’s secretary again, giving him a call. Slightly disoriented, Jae looks around to realize that he’s already at the parking lot of the City Hall, sitting idly inside his car. He doesn’t even remember the drive there, much less parking in his designated spot. He’s just relieved and surprised that he hasn’t gotten into an accident along the way. His mind has been too preoccupied with something that happened more than fifteen years ago, that one fateful call that changed their lives forever. It was the happiest trip he ever had, definitely one for the books. And that’s why he had spent years trying to forget it after they broke up. Thinking back on it now, Jae realizes it’s the exact moment that began the downfall of their relationship.

What’s surprising to Jae however was, instead of the crushing heartbreak that he expected to feel after reliving that memory, he finds that it’s replaced with a newfound fondness that warms his chest. The memory no longer bringing with it a dull pain in his heart like it did before.

He actually feels… nostalgic.

He didn’t want to question this beautiful feeling but, he has an idea on what caused the change. Perhaps it’s because him and Younghyun have finally patched things up. He realizes just how much he genuinely treasures their friendship now, no matter how new it is. They may not have had _that_ conversation—the closure—and yet, Jae feels relieved. So relieved, in fact, that he didn’t even notice he was smiling all by himself inside the car.

Younghyun makes it into the parking lot of the summer music school with twenty minutes to spare. Right after he got the text from Jae, he quickly got dressed—he wore a white button down and tight black jeans—before grabbing the keys to his car and was out the front door in mere minutes. Excitement and nervous anticipation bubble up inside his chest. He really appreciates that Jae seems to trust him with Jisoo and vows to himself that he would never do anything to break that trust. In addition to that, Younghyun has also really come to care for the kid after spending just a few moments with him. Younghyun couldn’t help it, Jisoo is just easy to love.

After notifying Jae that he has arrived at the school, Younghyun approaches the designated waiting area for the parents. A faculty member from the side office perks up as soon as he enters.

“Hi, can I help you?” She greets Younghyun.

Younghyun steps closer to her desk, subconsciously straightening his collar. “Yes, um, my name’s Brian Kang. Jae Park asked me to pick up—”

“Ah, yes, Jisoo.” The lady finishes for him. “Mr. Park already called in to inform us that you’re coming.” Younghyun smiles at the woman’s words. “I just need you to sign your name, write your contact details, and relation to the child here.” She pushes a large grid notebook full of what Younghyun assumes are the other kids’ parents’ names.

Younghyun hesitates at the last column of information. He’s not sure what to write about regarding his relation to Jisoo. Writing ‘Mr. Park’s friend’ seems a little unprofessional, but changing it into something vague like ‘Park family acquaintance’ might alert the faculty so, with a sigh, Younghyun opts for a simple ‘Jisoo’s uncle’. He figures that if they’re going to question it, they can give Jae’s number a ring to back him up anyway.

After following the given instructions, Younghyun takes a seat at one of the benches, brushing non-existent crumbs off his pants. There are only less than a handful of parents with him at the waiting area seeing that it’s still a few minutes early before the kids’ dismissal time.

While waiting, one particular older woman with greying hair, sitting close to Younghyun, leans towards him, “Excuse me?” She starts in an uncertain tone.

Younghyun tenses, afraid he has been recognized.

“Yes?” He asks in a slightly deeper tone, trying to mask his real voice.

“I’m sorry if this comes off rude but, what’s the name of your child?” She continues, looking him up and down. “It’s just that I haven’t seen you around here before and I’m pretty sure I know most, if not all, of the parents’ faces.”

Younghyun visibly relaxes. The woman must’ve just been curious and a little cautious seeing as Younghyun is a new face in the school. At least he hasn’t been recognized like he thought. He didn’t want such unwanted attention to fall on Jae’s, and especially Jisoo’s, shoulders just by being acquainted with the former idol. So, instead of correcting her assumption of him being a parent, Younghyun tries to reassure her by replying, “I’m actually here for Jisoo.”

The woman’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, wow, does Mr. Park finally have a boyfriend?”

Before Younghyun could even formulate a reply, another woman joins in on the conversation. “No way, you must be the new sitter, right?”

“Anna, don’t be rude.” The older woman, the one who first approached Younghyun, chastises the other. “And I’m pretty sure Jae would never fire that adorable sitter—what’s his name again? Dowoon? Anyways, he seems to get along well with Jisoo. He even told me he sometimes teaches Jisoo how to play the drums when he came to pick up Jisoo last week.”

“Well, I’m sorry,” Anna apologizes to Younghyun. “It’s just that this PTA is such a tight-knit group so we kind of know a lot about the other parents and since you’re the first person to come for Jisoo other than Jae and his sitter themselves, we’re just surprised to find out that Jae has a boyfriend now. He doesn’t trust a lot of people when it comes to Jisoo, right Claire?”

Younghyun’s eyes widen at their words. “Oh, no, I’m not Jae’s boyfriend. I’m Jisoo’s… uncle.” He informs them with a close-lipped smile. Why they would immediately assume that Younghyun is Jae’s boyfriend is beyond him.

The first woman, Claire, sighs sadly. “That’s too bad. We really hope Jae would find someone already, he’s been single for too long. Don’t you think so, Anna?”

“I know! I’ve actually tried setting him up with a date before but he declined…”

Younghyun tries to drown out their voices as the two started talking among themselves. He resists the urge to roll his eyes at their words. A month ago, he would have shared the same sentiments, that him and Jae have been emotionally unavailable for too long, and that Younghyun could hopefully help end his and Jae’s ‘misery’ by getting back together. But Younghyun knows that that was such a stupid and pointless thought right from the start. And after becoming friends with Jae, Younghyun has seen how genuinely happy and content the older is just by having Jisoo. Jae is his own person and he clearly doesn’t need anyone else to be complete. Younghyun is just relieved that Jae has let him back into the older’s life after what he’s done to Jae all those years ago.

Younghyun is about to speak up on behalf of Jae when he hears the bell ringing. It’s already 3:30pm. Younghyun sits up straighter, preparing himself for whatever Jisoo’s reaction will be upon seeing him instead of Jae.

He stands up as the first of the kids began bursting through the doors to the waiting area. Younghyun notices that each kid is either dragging or carrying an instrument with them. He searches their faces, looking for Jisoo. And when his eyes land on a pair of drumsticks sticking out of a backpack, Younghyun gets greeted with an incredibly enthusiastic hug.

“Brian!” Jisoo cheers excitedly, head buried on Younghyun’s stomach as he tightens his grip around the older’s hips. “What are you doing here?”

Younghyun crouches down to match Jisoo’s height as he gives the kid a warm smile. “Your dad had a meeting today so I came to pick you up.”

He reaches behind Jisoo, taking the kid’s backpack and carrying it on his back.

Jisoo’s expression adopted an excited look as he says, “Yay! Can we please get ice cream first before going home?”

“Sure,” Younghyun easily replies. “Is that what you and Jae usually do after class?”

Jisoo bites his lower lip, suddenly avoiding Younghyun’s eyes. “…yes.”

Younghyun gives him a suspicious look. “Really?”

“Uh huh.”

“So, if I call your dad right now just to check, you’ll be okay with it?”

“…alright, fine.” Jisoo pouts, giving in. Younghyun couldn’t help but chuckle at the adorable sight. “We only go on days when I’ve been extra good in class. Like whenever I get a star for answering a question correctly.”

After hearing the kid’s words, Younghyun once again finds himself admiring the firm but gentle manner that Jae has been raising his son with. He’s able to instill the right amount of discipline while never forgetting to acknowledge and appreciate every single achievement and good deed of Jisoo, no matter how big or small they are.

“Tell you what,” Younghyun starts in a conspiratorial tone. “I can just get permission from your dad. I’m sure he’ll make an exception for us today; I can be annoyingly persuasive when I want to be.” He finishes with a playful wink.

Jisoo giggles just when someone approaches the two of them.

“Hi, I’m Mrs. Greene, Jisoo’s music teacher.” She offers a hand in greeting along with a friendly smile, to which Younghyun is quick to respond. He straightens back up to shake the teacher’s hand. “I take it you’re Jisoo’s ride home?”

Before Younghyun can properly introduce himself, Jisoo is quick to beat him to it. “This is Brian, teach! He’s mine and daddy’s best friend.” The kid announces to her.

Younghyun feels warm with the way Jisoo spoke so proudly of him.

Chuckling, he adds, “I’m Brian Kang, a friend of the Park’s.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Kang.” She faces Jisoo, gently patting the top of the kid’s head. “Don’t forget to have the invitation signed by dad, okay?”

“Yes, Mrs. Greene.” Jisoo diligently replies.

She notices the curious expression that Younghyun throws Jisoo’s way so she quickly adds, “It’s for the talent show that we’re having before the end of classes next month. Our Jisoo here will be performing in a five-man band.”

Younghyun is pleasantly surprised. “That’s great, Jisoo! I can’t wait to hear you play.” He catches himself, giving Mrs. Greene a sheepish look. “That is, if visitors are allowed?”

The teacher waves him off. “No worries, the invitations are good for two people. I’m sure Mr. Park will let you be his plus-one.”

Even though he’s pretty sure Mrs. Greene didn’t mean it that way, Younghyun looks away in an attempt to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks. “I hope so.”

His reply is non-committal. He doesn’t want to impose by inviting himself into an event that is very clearly reserved for the kids’ families. He’ll just hope that one of these days, Jae will invite him to come. If he does, then Younghyun will be over the moon. But if he doesn’t, then that is fine too. Younghyun will just ask Jae for a video clip of Jisoo’s performance and to cheer extra loudly on behalf of Younghyun. That’ll be more than enough for him.

“Anyways,” Mrs. Greene starts, bringing Younghyun’s thoughts back to reality. “I don’t want to keep you any longer than I already have. I just need you to sign out with the logbook and you and Jisoo can go.” She directs Younghyun back to the side office.

Younghyun looks at Jisoo who went to chat with one of his classmates still waiting for their parents to pick them up first before doing as told. He brings his phone out to inform Jae that they’re about to leave the school when a thought occurs to him.

“Excuse me,” he calls the attention of the faculty staff that greeted him when he first got here earlier.

“Yes, Mr. Kang?” She asks him. “Did you need something?”

“Is it alright if I write in my name as Jisoo Park’s secondary emergency contact?” Younghyun wants to know as he scans the page containing Jisoo’s information at the logbook. The only contact they have is Jae’s. He figures it couldn’t hurt to have another adult listed under Jisoo’s name. Another person to contact just in case something was to happen to Jisoo, God forbid.

Younghyun adds, “It’s just for days like this when Jae has an urgent meeting so that the school can immediately call me to come by to pick Jisoo up for him.”

“Ah, of course, that would be helpful.” she says with a grateful smile. She looks through the pile of papers by the desk before presenting a form to Younghyun. “Please fill these in and we’re good to go.”

The form is pretty straight forward so Younghyun finishes easily. As he’s handing the paper back to the secretary, Younghyun feels a gentle tug at the hem of his shirt.

He sees Jisoo looking up at him.

“When are we leaving, Brian?” Jisoo politely asks him.

“Right now.” Younghyun replies, sending a parting smile to the secretary before fully facing Jisoo. “Ready to go?”

“Yup!” Jisoo tells him before raising his arms and making grabby hands at Younghyun.

Happily taking the kid’s cue, Younghyun picks up Jisoo before adjusting the kid’s backpack on his shoulders.

Their ice creams are long gone when Younghyun finally parks his car on Jae’s driveway. He got a text from Jae a few minutes ago, telling Younghyun that he won’t be able to make it home in a few more hours after apologizing once again to the younger.

**Jae Park:**

_I’m really sorry for making you spend the night babysitting  
_ _But lucky you, Jisoo seems to like your company haha_

**Brian Kang:**

_Stop apologizing!  
_ _And besides, I love spending time with Jisoo too  
_ _Just be careful on the drive home! See you soon :)_

So, here he is now at the Park residence. Using Jisoo’s emergency spare key, Younghyun opens the front door. He smiles appreciatively at how Jisoo properly takes off his shoes and places them on the shoe rack by the foyer. Once Jisoo is comfortably settled on the couch, watching cartoons on the television, Younghyun heads for the kitchen. He sets down the bag of groceries they bought on the way home on the counter—Jisoo had asked Younghyun to cook his favorite spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. He figured Jae would still be out by then. He arranges each ingredient properly, preparing them for when he’ll start cooking in less than two hours. He then proceeds to Jisoo’s room to place the kid’s backpack by the bed. But in doing so, the bag’s straps get snagged at the cover of Jisoo’s music box on the bedside table, accidentally lifting the top open.

As the tune starts playing, Younghyun’s entire body freezes. He couldn’t believe his ears as he listens to the song; it’s none other than the one he debuted with—When You Love Someone.

“Oh, you found my music box.” Jisoo shares from the door to his room, startling Younghyun. “That’s my favorite lullaby.”

“What?” He asks shakily, his voice sounding thin.

Jisoo is oblivious to Younghyun’s state as he joins the latter inside the room, standing in between the drum set and the piano at the corner near the door to his wardrobe.

“Dad said he got me this as a gift when I was like this big.” He gestures with his hands to which Younghyun assumes the six-year-old meant to show him the size of a baby but the kid’s hands were only a few inches apart. In any other situation, Younghyun would’ve laughed at the adorable sight but he couldn’t even bring himself to breathe properly at the moment.

Jisoo continues, taking a seat at the stool by the piano. “Sometimes daddy would sing me to sleep while singing and playing his guitar. Other times he would leave the music box playing through the night. Apparently, it’s written by his favorite singer from South Korea. I just love that song so much I even had uncle Wonpil teach me how to play it using the piano. Wanna hear?”

Younghyun takes a few seconds longer than necessary to respond. He still has his back to the kid, not wanting Jisoo to see the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He clears his throat, saying, “I would love to hear it, buddy.”

Younghyun subconsciously closes his eyes as the opening notes of the song drift in the air. The soft melody of it shakes a few memories lose as Younghyun’s mind travels back in time.

For the seventh week in a row, Younghyun had to stay a little late again at one of the studios in the company. Each night it varied, he’s either working on a few more songs to be added to his debut album, on a vocal training, getting lessons on how to act accordingly so as to avoid crumbling under the public eye, or generally just getting the album finalized because apparently, he’s about to debut soon.

It’s only been a little more than two months after graduation and instead of immediately getting a job the way Jae did, him and Younghyun decided it’s better for the younger to pursue this dream of his first. So that when it fails (which it wouldn’t, as Jae claimed), he will still have his business management career to fall back to.

Thanks to Jae’s impressively-higher-than-minimum-wage salary, they were able to move to a new apartment, one that’s close to the entertainment company but a thirty-minute-long bus ride away from Jae’s job. When they were about to sign the contract from the landlord, Younghyun kept protesting that since Jae’s the one who’s currently earning between them, it’s only fair that they should choose to live closer to the older’s work.

However, Jae was quick to counter him as he argued, “Think of this as an investment for our future, BriBri. Once you debut and become the biggest soloist in the industry—which you will be, don’t even try to disagree with me on that, it’s basic science—your salary will be bigger than mine that it’s not even funny. Just think of this as me pushing you, us, to get that lobster.”

At first, they were able to adjust to this new dynamic of Younghyun being too busy with training and preparing for his debut to spend time with Jae at home. Or at anywhere else, for that matter. Don’t get them wrong, it had been hard settling for phone calls that only last for a few minutes, quick interactions before Jae leaves for work in the morning, or exchanging texts whenever Younghyun could sneak in a minute of break or two. They’re not even in a long-distance relationship but it’s starting to feel that way.

There had been a full week and a half where they haven’t seen each other face-to-face; Younghyun would get home when Jae was already asleep, the older too tired from work, and Jae leaving home early as Younghyun slept in, too tired from training the night before. Jae just kept telling himself that after Younghyun debuts, his workload would go back to normal or at least, not be as hectic as it had been for the past couple of months.

After he informed Jae for the millionth time that he won’t be able to make it home for dinner, he frowned in concern at Jae’s reply.

**baby jaejae:**

_actually, I had a really rough day, bri  
_ _can’t you make an exception at least for tonight?_

Younghyun looked at their dance trainer sitting on her desk. They’re currently taking a fifteen-minute break before resuming to learn a few basic moves. He would’ve gone to her to get himself out of training for the rest of the night but since he’s one of the newest trainees within the company, he didn’t want to appear unprofessional and disrespectful by leaving earlier than everyone else. So, he just stayed seated on the spot.

**Kang BriBri:**

_I really would if I could, babe. But I can’t.  
_ _I’m so sorry…_

_…yeah, I know you are_

Younghyun would have probed further to find out what’s been bothering Jae to comfort him but since the choreographer already called them back to resume training, Younghyun decided to leave it at that for now. He promised himself he’ll just make it up to Jae later. He was pretty sure the older would understand.

Jae wiped the fallen tears from his cheeks as he locked his phone after staring at their latest text thread for a couple of minutes. He’s usually so understanding of the younger’s busy schedule but after he got fired from work earlier, he figured he deserved to feel a little selfish for the night.

After he caught one of his seniors at work laundering money from the company fund and into a private account yesterday, Jae’s senior threatened him that if he ratted the older out to the higherups, Jae will only be putting a minor speed bump on a much bigger ploy at play, that if Jae dared to get involved, the senior would make sure Jae would regret it.

Jae, ever the sweet but naïve guy, still decided to do the right thing as he immediately told the CEO. And while they took action to stop that senior, firing and promising to sue him, Jae got told by the head of the HR department the following day that since they’ll be doing a budget cut, they had to let him go.

“Last one in, first one out.” They told him.

A thing that Jae would have understood but given what just transpired yesterday, he knew without a doubt that this was his senior’s retaliation for Jae’s involvement. Plus given the fact that Jae wasn’t even the latest employee hired by the company.

As he laid in bed, Younghyun’s scent emanating from the pillow, enveloping him, Jae couldn’t help but feel a heart wrenching loneliness. His heart yearned to feel the comfort of Younghyun’s embrace. Jae couldn’t even remember the exact date of the last time they simply laid in bed, talking, and just cuddling, or the last time they had real, meaningful sex and not just having a quickie whenever one of them felt horny, or even the last time they had dinner together.

Deep down, Jae acknowledged that he was putting Younghyun in a tough spot. He believed Younghyun must’ve done everything he can to try to get home early, that he would’ve groveled or, at the very least, talked to their trainer. But since he had a really bad day, he didn’t care to take on the role of being the understanding boyfriend that he usually is, he really just needed his Younghyun to be there.

 _‘Just until he debuts… things will get better then.’_ Jae thought, trying to convince himself.

This has been the mantra that he kept telling himself whenever he would miss his boyfriend over the past two months. But saying it right now, Jae was suddenly not a hundred percent sure he believed it.

Seven weeks stretched into ten.

It was when Jae finally got a new job two weeks ago at an honorable architecture firm (sure, it’s not like his dad’s but the pay is still good and it’s in South Korea, meaning he gets to stay with Younghyun) that Younghyun found out he even got fired in the first place. And it’s not like Jae didn’t try to tell him about it but he was just so disheartened that Younghyun didn’t even notice that Jae has stopped going to work on those mornings that followed after getting fired.

And the only reason Younghyun found out about it now was because he saw a different company logo on one of Jae’s blueprints splayed out on the desk.

“Why didn’t you tell me you already left _Lee: Architecture & Design_?” He asked Jae with a frown as soon as the latter got out of the bathroom one Thursday morning, fully dressed for work.

The tired look on Jae’s face didn’t pass Younghyun’s notice.

“I didn’t leave, I got fired.”

“I’m sorry, what? You got _fired_?” Younghyun turned his entire body so that he was facing Jae full-on. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Jae scoffed. “I tried, actually. The very next day it happened, more than two weeks ago. We were laid in bed and when you asked what I’ve been up to recently, I tried telling you everything. But lo and behold, just when I was getting to the good part, I turn my head sideways and there you were, already asleep.”

“I was just tired—”

“And I wasn’t?!” Jae interrupted him, his voice rising.

“Still, there were plenty of times you could’ve told me!” Younghyun argued, matching Jae’s volume. “That was a big deal and you didn’t even try harder to tell me. You had two weeks, Jaehyung!”

“Oh really? You’re going to blame this all on me?” Jae’s voice adopted a challenging tone. “What about those mornings when I didn’t get out of bed at the time that I would’ve gone to work? Did you even notice that? Of course not, because if you did then we wouldn’t even be having this conversation in the first place. And let me remind you, I _did_ tell you. But you decided sleep was more interesting.”

Younghyun pulled at his hair in frustration. “I told you, I was tired.”

“And I said, I was exhausted too and yet I still waited for you!”

Younghyun caught himself as he was about to shout another retort to the older. “You know what, we’re just going in circles now.” He sighed heavily. “Why don’t we stop fighting and just drop it?”

Jae gaped at him. “We barely even started fighting and now you just want to drop it? For fuck’s sake, Kang Younghyun! We hardly do anything these days! We can’t even go out like we used to because it would threaten your budding career and having a gay rookie idol is just so _damn_ scandalous. I’m just, I’m so tired of it, Brian.”

If they had this conversation three months ago, Younghyun would’ve noticed that Jae wasn’t just talking about work. He had been great at reading between the lines with Jae, knows the older like the back of his hand. But then again, how would they be having this conversation when they were perfectly fine back then.

Younghyun reached a hand out to rest it on Jae’s shoulder as an attempt to calm the latter down. “Look, I’m really sorry, Jae. Why don’t you skip work today, take a rest? I promise when I get home tonight, we’ll talk things through.”

The gentle tone in the younger’s voice seemed to have somehow lessened the tension in the room. At least they aren’t yelling now.

Jae sighed. “I just don’t get why we can’t talk now.”

Younghyun looked down at the floor as he told Jae, “I need to leave early today. The CEO will be meeting with us this morning. I’m _so_ sorry. But I swear, I’m all yours tonight.”

Jae merely nodded. “Just go.”

Later that evening, as expected, training ran late. As he tells Jae this, he felt relieved that Jae didn’t seem to put up a fight about it. _‘I always knew he would understand.’_

However, what Jae said next confused him.

**Kang BriBri:**

_I really hate to say this to you but, I’ll be home late again tonight  
_ _Let’s have our talk on Sunday instead.  
_ _It’s my free day!  
_ _I promise when I finally debut, I’ll make it up to you, baby_

**baby jaejae:**

_it’s fine  
_ _I’ll leave your food on the fridge as always_

****

_I’m really, REALLY sorry, Jae._

_I know  
_ _just don’t stay out too late_

_yes, baby ;)  
_ _and OHMYGOD how can I even forget_

_what is it_

_I was supposed to meet with the CEO earlier this morning, right?  
_ _Apparently, it wasn’t just for the monthly evaluation…_

_what was it about then_

_Jae, baby…  
_ _I’M FINALLY DEBUTING NEXT MONTH!!!_

_ohmygod  
_ _congratulations!!!  
_ _bribri, fucking finally!!!_

_I’m so excited I haven’t stopped moving in the last few hours  
_ _We’ll be talking more about the other details but  
_ _Apparently, for promotion and whatnot, I’m going to do a lot of interviews  
_ _Guestings  
_ _TV appearances  
_ _A mini fanmeet  
_ _And my own fucking concert!!!_

_That’s so cool, bri  
_ _what about our plans for tomorrow tho?_

_‘Tomorrow?’_ Younghyun asked himself, not knowing what the older meant. Tomorrow is Friday, just another boring day following their usual schedule of work for Jae and training for Younghyun. He figured Jae must’ve just been talking about what he said during their fight earlier—about not doing things together anymore.

_I’ll probably stay late at the company again  
_ _To talk about all of the things I need to do after debuting  
_ _You don’t have to wait up for me if you’re tired :)_

It took a few minutes for Jae to reply.

_oh wow  
_ _okay then_

_they’re already calling me back  
_ _talk to you later, babe_

The rest of Thursday and Friday night came and went uneventfully. At least for Younghyun (a total opposite to Jae’s day which was full of waiting, disappointment, heartbreak, tears, decision-making, and finally, clarity, all in that order) as he came home to his boyfriend sleeping on the couch. He smiled fondly at the sight before grabbing a spare blanket and covering the older with it.

 _‘He must’ve fallen asleep watching tv while waiting for me.’_ Younghyun thought.

What he didn’t know though, was that Jae couldn’t stand to sleep while being surrounded with Younghyun’s scent on the bed so he opted to just sleeping on the couch even though it’s too short for his legs. He had cried himself to sleep that night.

After the initial excitement and happiness upon hearing that Younghyun’s debut finally had an official date, Jae was hit with the crushing realization that he had been such a fucking idiot for believing that things would finally dwindle down after his boyfriend debuted. In fact, it would seem to be the exact opposite. Younghyun’s debut will just be the beginning of countless more late nights, and there may even be nights when he wouldn’t be able to come home because he was somewhere far, promoting. They haven’t even had the conversation of what being an idol on the public eye would do to their relationship, given the fact that not only must he stay single to their knowledge, but he must also be a fucking straight male.

Oh, and yeah, the fact that the younger clearly forgot about Jae’s birthday today.

For the first time in four years, Jae has spent his birthday alone.

And for the first time in three months, Jae couldn’t see where their relationship was heading. But it was also then that Jae finally knew what he needed to do.

Saturday noon during lunch break, Younghyun got a call from his mom in Toronto asking how he’s been. The call lasted for about ten minutes and when they’re about to hang up, Younghyun’s mom remembered something important.

“Oh, by the way,” she started. “Please tell Jae I’m sorry I forgot to greet him yesterday.”

“Greet him for what?” Younghyun asked, frowning.

‘For his birthday of course! I won’t fall for whatever joke you’re trying to pull on me.” His mom replied with a chuckle. “Your dad misplaced the charger so my phone was dead the entire day, and when I did find it, I figured Jae was already asleep what with being in different time zones and all that so I couldn’t give him a call. Also, please tell him I miss him too!”

 _‘What? That can’t be right. It’s still a few more days before his birthday…’_ Younghyun pulled the phone away from his ear to check the date.

It’s September the 16th today.

Jae’s birthday was yesterday.

Younghyun paled upon realization.

He fucked up. He _really_ fucked up.

“Mom, I have to go.” Without waiting for her reply, Younghyun ended the call before standing up and approaching one of the other trainees.

“Please tell the trainers and staff members I had to leave early today.” He asked of them. “There’s been an emergency at home.”

“Oh, of course, man. Go on ahead, I got you. I hope everything’s fine.”

He tried calling Jae’s phone but the latter wasn’t picking up. Younghyun sprinted home while mentally cursing himself with all of the heinous words he can think of. He arrived to their apartment in record time and when he opened the door, his apologies died in his throat.

There was nothing amiss in the room at first glance but Younghyun knows better. Jae doesn’t have work today. And he usually doesn’t go out of the apartment on those short days of freedom. So, him not being in their apartment this time of day speaks volumes to Younghyun.

A heavy feeling settled itself in Younghyun’s chest. As he stepped into their apartment, Younghyun quickly went to their bedroom. Heart in his throat, he flung open their closet doors. He felt his legs weaken at the absence of all of Jae’s clothes.

He frantically searched the room to look for more of Jae’s belongings. Jae’s wristwatch—Younghyun’s birthday gift to him last year—was nowhere in sight from its usual place in their bedside table. His plaid shirt that’s always draped over the back of the chair by their desk, gone.

Younghyun felt his breath quickening as he noticed the lone piece of paper on the perfectly made bed. With shaking hands, he picked it up.

_Kang Bra,_

_I’m sorry for leaving like this, Brian. I know you deserve more but frankly, if I see that face of yours, I wouldn’t have the strength to go out the door._

_Calm down, this isn’t a breakup note, not really. Although I do believe that we have to press pause on this and think things through. We both need some time away from each other to figure out where we stand in our relationship._

_I’m also sorry for doing this a month before your debut. But the thing is, if I waited until then, it would’ve put a strain on our relationship any more than there already is. I just didn’t want us to end up hating each other._

_To make it easier for the both of us, I took a leave from work and booked a flight to LA. I’ll be leaving after two days. I’m going to stay with my parents for a month, regroup. I hope that’s long enough. And don’t worry about where I’m staying. I’m currently at a colleague’s house before then, you don’t know her but I promise I’ll be fine._

_My flight is at nine on the dot, next Tuesday morning. You can come and say goodbye to me before I go. Let’s say our goodbyes face-to-face then. Well, temporary goodbyes, you know what I mean._

_See you soon, BriBri._

_Love,_

_Park Jaehyung_

Younghyun reread the letter countless more times, hoping that he was just hallucinating, that Jae was just out buying groceries, or got bored out of his mind so he went to the park, or whatever logical explanation there is besides this one. He immediately tried calling Jae but the older’s phone was turned off. He was about to leave a voicemail but when it came down to it, he didn’t even know what to say. Well, actually, he had a lot to say, he just didn’t think it would all fit in the seconds that the voicemail allowed.

Was he upset? Fuck yes, more than he could ever express. His fingers were already itching to write his feelings down before it became too much and consumed him.

Was he mad that Jae left? No, that wouldn’t be right. That would make him a hypocrite seeing as how the fact that he forgot Jae’s birthday must’ve been the final straw for the older. If anything, Jae had the right to be furious. Except, from reading the letter, Younghyun could also feel no malice from the words, just resignation.

Even though the older left while Younghyun was away, he knows he couldn’t ever be mad at Jae. Especially now when Younghyun knows that this is entirely his fault. A million thoughts ran through his mind, but the most prominent one was that he actually saw this coming. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he has noticed how distant they’ve grown apart from each other the past three months. They couldn’t go out in public as a couple because the company already had him officially listed in the lineup for their upcoming artists in their latest newsletter, so even though he still wasn’t entirely famous, the media might recognize him and would immediately pounce on the opportunity to dig some dirt on him. So, they had to say goodbye to traveling and eating out, activities that him and Jae loved to do. Jae didn’t say so but Younghyun could tell that it bothered the former.

That’s why he would sometimes voluntarily stay late at the company, he didn’t want to go home and face the music that Jae’s work and his budding career were creating a gap between them. He had been terrified to know how wide it has already gotten. Plus, whenever he would meet Jae’s eyes, he always feels guilt riddle his chest. He remembered all the things Jae had willingly sacrificed and compromised just so Younghyun could pursue his dream and he couldn’t even do something as simple as taking Jae out for dinner to show the older his love and appreciation.

Thursday morning, he avoided having that talk with Jae because he was still foolishly holding on to the hope that he was just being paranoid, that nothing was really wrong. He had been so busy avoiding that conversation that he unconsciously avoided spending time with his boyfriend altogether. And now, because of his naivety and denial, it almost cost him their relationship.

He felt his knees finally give as he sank down on the floor, clutching the paper to his chest. He vowed to himself that once Tuesday morning came, he would beg for Jae to stay and promise to try harder for their relationship. He genuinely believed that it is better to work things through together than apart.

For the next two nights, Younghyun cried himself to sleep on the couch, the same thing that Jae did the few nights before, ironically.

However, Tuesday morning came and Younghyun arrived late at the airport. Right before he got excused by their handler at the company, he got called into the CEO’s office. He was introduced to the other shareholders as they wanted to meet the new soloist that’s about to debut. They had their doubts about him seeing as how he was only in training for a little less than three months. So, to quickly get out of the meeting, Younghyun did his best to show them what he’s got. Somehow, that quickly backfired on his ass. They apparently were so impressed that each of them wanted to at least have a short conversation with the trainee. On the drive to the airport, he almost hyperventilated when he saw the time. 9:27am. And he’s still a few minutes away. He prays to whoever’s listening that he wasn’t too late.

As Younghyun got inside, he immediately went to see the flight details. And when he saw on the screen that one en route to LA had already departed a few minutes ago, he could practically hear his heart splitting into two. Once again, he’d been too late.

There he was, in the middle of a busy airport, crying his eyes out.

 _‘Why can’t I do anything right?’_ He questioned himself. _‘I really don’t deserve him.’_

He didn’t realize how long he stood there when he heard someone call out to him.

“Brian.”

Younghyun whipped his head around too fast he almost nicked his neck. There, standing a few feet from him, was Jae. Younghyun wasted no time to wrap the older in a bone-crushing hug.

He was so relieved at seeing that Jae’s still here that he didn’t notice the older did not return the gesture.

“I’m so happy you stayed.” He sobbed against Jae’s shoulder.

“You’re late.” Was Jae’s simple reply.

Younghyun’s ears picked up how cold Jae’s voice sounded. He pulled away from the embrace as he looked at the older with uncertainty.

“The board members wanted to meet me. I tried so hard to get out of it, I’m so sorry.” His tone sounded desperate as he saw the resigned look on Jae’s eyes.

_‘No, no, no. Please, no.’_

“I was about to leave the goddamn country and I still had to wait for you.” Jae’s voice was basically monotone now, devoid of any emotion.

“Jae, baby, I couldn’t possibly tell you how sorry I am.” Younghyun’s heart beat loud and fast on his chest, cold fear running a shiver down his spine. Jae was just standing less than a foot from him and yet he felt a hundred miles away.

“I even had to miss my flight for you.” Jae sighed heavily. His mind was completely made up.

“W-why don’t we head on home and talk?” Younghyun stammered. He was grasping at straws here as the older didn’t seem to register his words.

“Not necessary, I already booked another one.” Jae quickly informed him. Younghyun felt the strong urge to cry again. “Remember when I told you that I’d be in LA for a month?”

“Yeah?” Younghyun feared where this was heading.

Jae looked away from Younghyun’s face as he answered, “I, um, I think I’ll have to extend it.”

“For how long?” Younghyun voice sounded fragile.

“Indefinitely.” Jae met his gaze again, looking determined.

Younghyun felt himself start to panic. “Is this about the dating ban? Because I’m willing to quit the company, just say the word and I’ll do it. I-I’ll even quit becoming an idol altogether, I’ll just get a job so we can both be home at the same time. I’d do anything for you, Jae.”

Jae reached a hand out to touch Younghyun’s shoulder. “Brian, I’d never ask you to do _any_ of that. You being my boyfriend and you preparing to be an idol are not two different things. You can both be at the same time. I just wanted you to leave a little more space for me in your day. I need more than phone calls that last a few minutes, more than having conversations in bed with the both of us fighting off sleep, more than having to cancel our plans last minute because you were tired from training and just wanted to sleep, and more than you forgetting my birthday.”

They were silent as Jae’s words settled between them.

Younghyun wanted to keep begging but deep down, he knows Jae. Knows that when his mind has been made up, no one else can change it, not even Younghyun.

“Jae, please…” He breathed out, grabbing both of Jae’s hands in his. “Don’t do this.”

Jae smiled sadly at him. “I think it’s best that we stop now before we really hurt each other in the future.”

“But you’re hurting me now by doing this.” Younghyun knew it’s selfish but he had no choice because he doesn’t know what he’ll do without Jae. “Are you just going to throw away the four years we spent together?”

“It’s funny how three months were all it took to ruin something that lasted for four years.” Jae held Younghyun’s gaze to give him a pleading look. “This is hard for me, too, Brian. But I _need_ to do this. For me. You’ll be fine, you know that, right?”

The thing about Younghyun is that he could never say no to Jae. Just one look at those eyes and Younghyun melted inside. So, even in this situation against his wishes, he found himself letting the latter go.

“Thank you, BriBri.” Jae told him as Younghyun lets go of his hands.

“Don’t.” Younghyun said, his voice cracking. “If you want me to let you leave, don’t call me that.”

“Okay.” Jae replied. “Can I at least get a hug?”

Younghyun knows how much it would hurt him later if he said yes but, well, he already knows that he’s a fool for Jae. He opened his arms to let the older in. He hugged Jae as if his life depended on it. And he could feel Jae doing the same.

They stayed like that for a few of minutes, drinking each other in while they still can. Younghyun tried to commit every detail to memory, Jae’s scent, the feel of his arms around Younghyun, the way Younghyun’s head fit perfectly on the crook of Jae’s neck, the feel of Jae’s heartbeat, everything.

When they pulled apart, they both share a small smile.

“I should probably head to the waiting room now.”

“Yeah, you probably should.” _‘Or else I'll take you back home with me.’_

“Goodbye, Kang Younghyun.”

“Goodbye, hyung.” Younghyun saw Jae’s expression crack a little at the honorific before quickly composing himself.

His heart broke once again as Jae turned his back on him and proceeded to the waiting area. For the first time in his life, Younghyun felt loss like he’d never felt before. 

“Hey, Brian?” He hears Jisoo calling to him from the piano.

Snapping his thoughts back to reality, he realizes that the kid has stopped playing. His tears have gone and dried on his cheeks. After quickly wiping them away, he faces Jisoo and asks, “What is it, bud?”

“Are you okay?” Jisoo looks concerned as he walks closer to stand in front of Younghyun. “Do you need a hug?”

The smile that appears in Younghyun’s face is completely genuine at seeing how sweet Jisoo is. He leans down to say, “I’ll never say no to a hug from you, Jisoo.”

His chest warms at the feel of Jisoo’s short and tiny arms wrapping around his neck. He’s easy to love because he’s kind, sweet, caring, and too smart for his age. He’s the most precious kid Younghyun’s ever met in his entire life. If anyone were to ever lay a hand on him, they will have Younghyun to deal with.

When they pull apart, he sees Jisoo giving him a smile. “I know what will cheer you up.”

“Thank you for worrying but I’m fine, buddy.” Younghyun assures him.

“Come on, Brian, pretty please?” Jisoo pouts, putting on puppy-dog eyes in hopes of manipulating Younghyun.

Obviously, it works.

Chuckling, Younghyun stands up from the bed. “What do you have in mind, bud?”

Jisoo triumphantly cheers before grabbing one of Younghyun’s hands, pulling him along, and dragging him to the backyard.

“We need to water the plants.” Jisoo tells him. “Dad said that taking care of plants can feel very refreshing and calming.”

Younghyun is surprised at the kid’s wise take on a chore as mundane as this.

He turns to Jisoo. “Alright, where do you want to start?”

Jisoo directs him to pull out the few stray weeds. As Younghyun gets to it, Jisoo mumbles something about turning on the water.

And when Jisoo suddenly points the garden hose on Younghyun, spraying the older’s clothes with water, Younghyun realizes he’s been tricked.

“You!” Younghyun accuses in a mocking tone. He rises to his full height as he looms over the six-year-old. “Come here, you little rascal!”

Jisoo happily squeals before running away from Younghyun as the latter chases him around the backyard. He pretends to grab at Jisoo but the kid has surprisingly quick reflexes.

“You better not let me catch you because if I do, the tickle monster won’t show you mercy.” Younghyun playfully threatens which only excites Jisoo more. They continue running around the yard, uncaring of how dirty their faces and clothes have gotten.

In a matter of minutes, Younghyun and Jisoo are both dripping wet. They’re currently laid on the grass, laughing to their hearts’ content. They’ve been too busy having fun that they didn’t notice Jae coming into the backyard.

“What just happened here?” Jae asks, amused.

His question surprises both Younghyun and Jisoo as they sat up to look at Jae.

“Dad, you’re home!” Jisoo quickly stands up to give Jae a hug.

Jae, chuckling, happily returned the gesture, not caring whatsoever about the mess that’s now getting on his own clothes.

“Good to see you too, buddy. Seems like you had a great day, huh?” He gives Younghyun a grateful look behind Jisoo’s back, mouthing ‘thank you, bri’ to the younger.

“Let’s get you to shower, okay, love?” Jae starts to steer Jisoo back inside the house.

Younghyun sees this as his cue to leave.

Standing up, he says, “I guess I better go now. Nice seeing you, Jae.”

Jae looks Younghyun up and down, noticing that the younger is even dirtier than his son. “Not in that state, you’re not.”

Younghyun gives him a confused look.

His heart leaps as Jae adds, “Just take a shower here.” Jae tells him, moving back inside the house with Jisoo. “Let me just get this baby—” Jisoo mildly groans at being called that, making Younghyun smile, “—in the bathroom then I’ll be right back for you. Wait here.”

Shrugging, Younghyun does as told as he takes a seat on the deck.

He had a really great day with Jisoo today. He realizes he hasn’t laughed that much in a long time. Well, figures. Back then, the only times he ever laughs freely and with no reservation like that is when he’s with Jae. It’s only fitting that the older’s son seems to have that calming effect on Younghyun too.

Younghyun’s resolve to do better by Jae and Jisoo solidified itself after reliving the memory of when they broke up. He chose not to dwell in the past but to just remember the lessons he learned from his mistakes as he vowed that he would do everything that he can to make Jae and Jisoo even happier without expecting anything in return. His priorities have shifted with Jae and Jisoo easily taking the top spot.

Jae, fresh out of his work clothes, returns to the backyard a few minutes later.

“Here you go, Bri.” He hands Younghyun a fresh red towel. “Um, you can use the shower in my room, Jisoo’s currently taking a bath on the other one.”

 _‘Is that a blush I’m seeing on Jae’s cheeks?’_ Younghyun notices, a fond smile finding its way on his face.

“Well?” Jae prompts, still holding out the towel to Younghyun.

Younghyun catches himself staring at the older and now he’s the one blushing for being caught doing it. He sees a corner of Jae’s lips quirking up at the younger’s reaction.

“Are you sure?” Younghyun asks as a lame attempt to distract Jae’s attention from his face. “I mean, I don’t mind walking home like this.”

Jae clicks his tongue. “Non-sense. It’s the least I could do for what you did today. Come on.”

Despite Younghyun’s less-than-half-hearted protests, Jae practically drags Younghyun inside the house and into the master bathroom.

“You can borrow my clothes when you’re done. I’ll have them ready on the bed.” Jae informs him before leaving Younghyun to his own devices.

Younghyun’s heart pounds in his chest at the mere prospect of standing inside Jae’s bathroom. Of all the times he’s been inside the older’s house the past four weeks, he’s never been inside Jae’s room, much less his bathroom. He didn’t want to overanalyze the situation like he’s often wont to do but, this feels like a fucking big deal.

He looks around the room, noticing how even in the small touches, the details pretty much scream Jae. The sleek design of the black sink on a stark white countertop, clear glass doors and dark grey tiles for the shower, showerhead that’s installed on the ceiling to replicate the effect of raindrops, even the electronic toilet. Slick and mysterious-looking yet efficient and sharp. Everything about the space is so indescribably Jae that Younghyun can almost feel the older’s presence there with him.

Following that train of thought, his mind immediately conjures up the image of Jae standing in the shower with him, can almost see the smirk on Jae’s full, sexy lips as he gestures for Younghyun to come closer and— _‘No.’_ Younghyun stops himself.

He cannot let his imaginations go far, knowing that it’s going to be a dangerous path ahead if he continues that line of thinking.

 _‘You cannot have inappropriate thoughts about your friend while standing inside said friend’s bathroom, Younghyun.’_ He scolds himself. _‘Do not abuse Jae’s kindness and mistake it for something else. You’re better than that.’_

After his pep-talk, he starts removing his clothes before carefully stepping into the shower. He sees the bath products on the artfully-designed crevice on the wall, pleasantly surprised that Jae still uses the same body wash, shampoo, and conditioner.

As he begins to run the warm water, he tries to ignore the implication that after he uses Jae’s products, him and Jae are going to share the same scent. And Younghyun couldn’t even begin to describe the satisfaction he feels at the thought.

Getting out of the shower after a few minutes, his black hair dripping water on his shoulders, and clad only with the towel from the waist-down, Younghyun sees an oversized hoodie (one that he’s seen Jae wear a couple of times), sweatpants, and boxers properly laid out on the bed. A full-on blush appears on his face, feeling incredibly relieved that Jae decided to leave the clothes for Younghyun to find instead of giving them to the younger personally. He would’ve been a tomato-faced, stuttering mess in front of the older if that happened.

The clothes fit Younghyun well, if not a little baggy what with their height difference but Younghyun instantly feels comfortable in them, giving him a sense of safe and calm. That’s what being enveloped in Jae’s scent does to Younghyun. He secretly wishes Jae would forget to ask him to return the clothes at a later date. There’s also something so intimate about the fact that he’s wearing Jae’s underwear even though he knows that Jae only lent it to him out of kindness because all of his clothes were soiled. He would’ve stayed longer to savor the moment but he figured he’d been gone a little longer than what was deemed normal for a shower so he quickly got out of Jae’s room after hanging his used towel on one of the racks by the bathroom, placing it beside Jae’s yellow one.

Jae sees the ingredients properly organized on top of the counters. He frowns in confusion. He doesn’t remember buying them himself.

He faces his son who’s sat on a chair on the other side of the kitchen island. “Jisoo, what is all this?”

Jisoo follows where Jae’s finger was pointing. “Brian bought them. He asked what I wanted for dinner ‘cause he’s going to cook it. He thought you were going to be home a little later.” His son explains.

Jae feels gratitude at how considerate Younghyun has been for Jisoo. He’s really happy Younghyun met his son. “Well, since he bought them, why don’t we make him stay for dinner, hm?” He winks playfully at Jisoo, making the kid giggle and nodding in excitement.

“Jae?” They hear Younghyun calling from the living room.

“In here!” Jae calls back to him, inviting him into the kitchen.

“Hey,” Younghyun appears by the doorway a second later. “It’s getting late, I should probably—”

“Stay for dinner, Bri.” Jae cuts him off.

He can tell that Younghyun was surprised by the offer seeing as how the latter wouldn’t meet his eyes. “A-are you sure? I wouldn’t want to impose…”

“Dude, honestly? Stop second-guessing whenever I’m being nice to you.” Jae tells him, amused. “When have I ever done anything that I wasn’t sure of? And besides, this is what friends do, right?”

A look passes Younghyun’s face but before Jae had the time to decipher, it was gone. “Right. Of course.” He chuckles at himself, stepping closer into the kitchen.

“Alright, now get your butt over here and help me cook dinner.” Jae takes out a boiling pan, getting ready to cook the pasta. “You can start with the sauce and the meatballs. We have to make this the best spaghetti and meatballs ever made on earth; we got a really tough judge to impress.”

Younghyun turns to Jisoo with a laugh, agreeing with Jae’s words. “Yes, sir.”

Jisoo, not following, innocently asks, “Who?”

Younghyun and Jae merely chuckles fondly at the kid before easily slipping right back into the familiarity of each other, everything falling into place once more. They chat while cooking; Younghyun telling stories about their day to the older, and Jae complaining to the younger about how tiring today’s work has been, with Jisoo butting in every now and then to ask what each of them meant. They stood close, arms often brushing. And when Younghyun accidentally places a hand on Jae’s waist as he reached for the salt on the other side of the counters, Jae subconsciously leans into the touch. The sight of the two of them together is so familiar, so natural, and so… domestic.

Dinner was also spent laughing and just talking nonstop. They tell each other stories that happened when they were apart, like that time when Jae got called into the school because Jisoo got involved in a fight after defending a classmate from a bully, or when Younghyun passed out in a food-induced coma for twelve hours after he agreed to come to one of Sungjin’s food trips.

When you look at it in the grand scheme of things, what transpired in Jae’s house that night wasn’t anything special; just friends having a lovely meal together with a six-year-old. But if you ask Jae and Younghyun, they will tell you, without a doubt, that it was one of the most memorable dinners they’ve ever had.

So, when they hug goodbye later that night, after Jisoo had gone to bed, it all felt so natural that after they pulled away from each other’s arms, Younghyun forgets where they stand as he leans in to press a soft kiss to the older’s lips.

Younghyun only realizes what he’s done when he already stood a foot away from Jae. The latter looked surprised to say the least. But, to Younghyun’s overall relief, he sees no sign of anger and any untoward emotion on Jae’s eyes.

A blush immediately rushes to both of their cheeks as Younghyun quickly plans his escape.

“Anyhoo, thanks for dinner, good night!” He hastily says, cringing at how loud his voice sounded, before turning around and stiffly walking down the driveway.

Jae is still left in awe, cheeks feeling hot, as he watched the younger go.

Behind all the panic and embarrassment that Younghyun is feeling, there’s a nagging thought in the back of his mind telling him that he’s being a coward yet again. _If you choose not to do anything then of course nothing will change._ He remembers that eventful conversation that he had with Sungjin. _Just do better this time around._

And before he’s even certain whether or not it’s a good idea, he feels himself turning around and walking back to Jae who was surprisingly still standing by the front door.

Younghyun starts, determined, “Look Jae, I’m not going to say that I regret kissing you. But I am sorry that I slipped up and lost control for a bit. I’m also not going to pretend that I don’t have feelings for you anymore because I still do. And quite frankly, I never stopped. But,” he pauses, taking a deep breath to steady his raging heartbeat. “if this isn’t what you want, just say the words and I’ll happily stay as your friend. I won’t mention this happened ever again. Whatever you want, just tell me. I just, I really like you, Jae. And I can understand if you feel upset with me right now.” Younghyun figures that confessing his true feelings to the older might be pushing it a little too hard so he decides to try to soften it.

He doesn’t just like Jae, he still loves him.

“N-no, that’s not it. I…” Jae stammers. “I’m not upset. I can’t believe I’m even saying this but, I like you too, Brian.”

Younghyun's heart stills. "You do?" He asks, incredulous.

"What did I say about doubting my words?" Jae reminds him, reaching with both hands to touch Younghyun's cheeks. "Yes, I do. I like you, Brian."

“So, what does that make us now?” Younghyun asks, his voice barely more than a whisper, afraid that this was just a figment of his imagination and if he speaks too loudly, all of this will be gone.

Jae considers for a few moments, hands returning back to his sides.

His face visibly softens as he makes up his mind, saying, “Why don’t we try this out first, let’s not put labels on it. Is that okay?”

Younghyun’s eyes shine at every single thing that’s currently happening. “More than okay.”

They stand that way for a few seconds, smiling and staring into each other’s eyes.

It was Younghyun who breaks the silence.

“Hey, hyung?”

“Yeah, Bri?”

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Hell yeah.” Jae reaches a hand out to the pockets of his hoodie to pull Younghyun closer. As their lips unite for the second time in one night, Jae and Younghyun sigh in both relief and delight into the kiss. It was soft, tender, and absolutely perfect.

“Did I mention I missed seeing you in my clothes?” Jae whispers against the younger’s lips.

“You didn’t,” Younghyun pauses, smirking as he continues, “but I saw it in your eyes.”

The younger cuts off Jae's laughter by closing the distance between their mouths once more. Their lips meet for a few more times, neither in a hurry to end the night.

Needless to say, Younghyun got home a little later with a stupid grin on his face.


	5. finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some fluff, more fluff, a quick angst for drama, some smut, and more fluff. Plus an additional fluff for good measure. Enjoy!  
> 

“Oh, what about this one, sweetheart?”

“Call me ‘sweetheart’ one more time and I’ll leave.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop—”

“Thank you.”

“—cheesecake.”

“And I’m out. ‘Bye.”

Chuckling at his boyfriend’s dramatics, Wonpil grabs Sungjin’s arm to stop him from leaving the store. “I’m kidding! Come on, we still haven’t picked out a new standing lamp for my room.”

Sungjin groans, letting Wonpil drag him along. “I would love to help but honestly Wonpil, I know you don’t trust my sense of style.”

Wonpil feigns looking affronted by the older’s words. “When have I ever said that—”

“Just two weeks ago when we got back and I got a ‘I drove all the way to Napa Valley and all I got is this shirt’ souvenir.” Sungjin points out, reminding Wonpil of when he looked cartoonishly abhorred at Sungjin wearing that shirt.

“Irrelevant.” Wonpil easily waves him off, denying the accusation. “And besides, it’s the least you can do after breaking the lamp by my bed the other day.” He finishes off with an overly suggestive wink.

Sungjin flushes at the younger’s implications. “Yeah, by accidentally knocking it to the ground after you asked for my help turning your mattress! We didn’t do anything else!”

Wonpil can’t help but laugh at Sungjin’s defensive tone. A few of the other customers closest to the two were giving them weird looks because of how loud Sungjin’s voice was. While what the latter said was true, that the lamp did in fact break because of something so mundane rather than doing unspeakable things in the bedroom like Wonpil had lewdly suggested, the younger is just having too much fun causing a reaction from Sungjin as always.

“I know, I was only joking.” Wonpil placates him with a playful wink.

Sungjin, realizing that he overreacted, sighs before saying, “I’m sorry, I’m just really hungry and hopelessly bad at flirting.”

Wonpil fondly smiles at Sungjin, admiring his honesty and patience for putting up with the younger’s antics. “Alright, I’ll go easy on you. You’re lucky I find you incredibly attractive.” He reaches between them to give Sungjin a kiss on the cheek. “Now, let’s finish shopping so we can get something to eat. I’m starving, too.”

It’s been more than three weeks since Wonpil and Sungjin officially started dating and two weeks since they got back from their trip to Napa Valley. It was Sungjin who accidentally asked the question, not being able to hold back because of how much he endeared the younger. They were out taking a stroll on a lovely evening, hands lightly brushing by their side, when Wonpil suddenly adopted a contemplative look.

He faced Sungjin and started, “You know what I regret the most in life?”

Sungjin, unfazed by the sudden seriousness of the topic, asked, “What?”

“That I gave up on pursuing my dream of becoming a professional pianist.”

Sungjin’s heart felt for the younger as he could see the hint of sadness in Wonpil’s eyes. “What happened, why did you stop?”

Wonpil sighed, facing forward to continue walking. “When I was 23 years old, my mother got diagnosed with stage two breast cancer a month before I was supposed to fly to Europe.” Wonpil sees the worried look Sungjin throws his way, quickly waving it off with a light chuckle. “Oh, don’t worry she’s cleared now, thank God. Anyways, back then, I got in at a prestigious music school in Italy after I graduated from UCLA. While studying there, I planned to take a tour around Europe. You know, expand my horizons and experience various different cultures. Enjoy the scenery too, of course.”

Sungjin smiled at the wistful look on Wonpil’s eyes.

Wonpil continued, “But I couldn’t leave my parents after that, obviously, so I stayed at home and dropped out. They wouldn’t let me but I know that deep down, my mom was relieved to have both me and dad by her side during chemo. Seeing her suffer took its toll on me so when she got better, I just didn’t want to leave her anymore. Fortunately, dad hired me as his assistant director at our hotel. It checked out at the end because sometimes I got to play the piano on the lobby when I’m not too busy so there’s that. But still, I sometimes wonder what it would’ve been like; playing on gorgeous theaters, seeing beautiful sights, eating mind-blowing food…”

“It’s not too late though.” Sungjin tried, his mind already coming up with possible scenarios to help ease the younger’s worries.

“Oh Sungjin, you sweet, sweet boy,” Wonpil shakes his head with a fond smile. “But I’m afraid my fingers aren’t as good at playing notes as the way they were before.”

“At least you can still go and travel, Pil-ie. It’s never too late to do that.” Sungjin reached a hand out to grab Wonpil’s arm, stopping him from walking. “You know what? Come and see Europe with me, Wonpil. It doesn’t have to be now. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be in a few months. Just tell me when you’re ready and we’ll go. I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”

Wonpil stared into Sungjin’s sparkling eyes, seeing the latter’s sincerity reflecting back at him. He was beyond speechless. He did not expect anything at all when he decided to tell Sungjin his story. Once again, Sungjin has been able to take him off-guard, rendering him unable to respond. His heart felt full to bursting in gratitude and adoration. However, he did not know how to properly express them so, naturally, he decided to play it off.

“Why, Sungjin, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you’re officially asking me out.”

“What if I am?” Sungjin looked serious, not at all letting Wonpil shy away from him.

He may often feel flustered at Wonpil’s advances but when it matters, Sungjin is brave enough for the both of them. He hates beating around the bush and would rather just get to the point, something that Wonpil was starting to admire the most about him.

Wonpil looked uncertain, afraid to hope but barely able to hold himself back. “What are you trying to say, Sungjin?”

“Let’s date.” Sungjin told him. “I want to do all those things for you, Wonpil. As your boyfriend. That is, if you’ll have me.”

And Wonpil would be lying to himself if he didn’t say yes right away.

Sungjin and Wonpil are currently back in Sungjin’s place (well, Younghyun’s to be specific) chilling for a bit after placing the new lamp at Wonpil’s bedroom. They’re sat at the sectional, chatting, and barely paying attention to whatever’s on the television screen. In a few hours, they’re about to have their weekly meet with Younghyun and Jae.

After that eventful dinner more than a month and a half ago, Friday night dinners have become their thing. Wonpil found Younghyun to be excruciatingly nice and a good conversationalist, and Sungjin found Jae to be extremely funny and thoughtful. And they all found Dowoon to be obnoxiously adorable. Oftentimes after dinner, they would proceed to Jae’s house to spend time with Dowoon and to relieve him of his babysitting duties once Jisoo is asleep; the five of them having a drink or two before the night ends. This group of theirs wasn’t something they originally planned, much less expected, but somehow, they all just clicked.

At first, Sungjin and Wonpil thought it was going to be awkward being friends with two people who used to be together, but they were surprised to see the genuine friendship that quickly blossomed between the two. When Wonpil found out from Sungjin that Jae and Younghyun not only knew each other but were actually exes, Wonpil initially felt betrayed to say the least. As Jae’s best friend, he would often share personal stories to the older so he was understandably upset that Jae didn’t quite find the same comfort with the younger. But then after Sungjin told him that it was probably because the breakup took something away from both Jae and Younghyun that Jae just wanted to forget. After all, not everyone has the same coping mechanism. And he did have his moment of confrontation with Jae. Even though it wasn’t that serious, Jae still sincerely apologized to him. So, in the end, all’s good between them.

“By the way, where is Younghyun?” Wonpil asks after Sungjin came back from the kitchen holding two glasses of orange juice. He’s stuck to calling the former idol by his birth name as Sungjin does. Jae and Jisoo are the only ones who call Younghyun by his English name these days, seeing as how it’s the name that Jae has been calling him with since college. One that started as a joke to annoy Younghyun but the younger ends up loving it. Having something that is his and Jae’s alone. It’s basically their inside language, engraved within them.

Sungjin glances at the wall clock, seeing that it’s almost 5pm. “He’s probably at Jae’s by now. He usually picks up Jisoo from school on days when Jae’s busy at work.”

Wonpil’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Oh, wow, I didn’t know he does that.”

Sungjin shrugs. “Yeah, he’s been doing it for more than two weeks now.”

“Hey, I have an idea.” Wonpil prompts, his voice getting excited.

“Uh-oh, that’s never a good sign.” Sungjin jokes, earning him a light smack on the arm from the younger.

“Come on, let’s go to Jae’s.” Wonpil continues. “See if Younghyun needs our help or something.”

However, judging from the glint in Wonpil eyes, Sungjin can tell that helping is exactly the opposite of what the younger is planning.

Chuckling at his boyfriend’s mischievous tendencies, he relents, saying, “Alright, but if he gets mad, I had nothing to do with it.”

After they knocked on the Parks' front door, they were surprised to find Jae opening it.

“What are you guys doing here?” Jae asks them.

“We came to hangout with Jisoo and Younghyun.” Sungjin replies, shrugging. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“Um, this is my house…?” Jae responds, looking adorably confused. “I live here…”

Wonpil chuckles beside Sungjin, “He meant right now, dummy. We thought you were still at work that’s why Younghyun hasn’t come home yet.”

“Oh.” Jae’s casual expression breaks for a second before composing himself. “Um, well, we were just hanging out and decided to go to dinner together later.”

Wonpil and Sungjin nod in understanding before looking at Jae expectantly.

“What?” Jae asks, clueless.

“Aren’t you going to let us in, you weirdo?” Wonpil reminds him with a chuckle.

“Oh, right, sorry.” The older steps aside. “Come on in. Brian and Jisoo are on the deck at the back.”

Jae follows after Wonpil and Sungjin, trying to calm his racing heart. It’s weird. Him and Younghyun weren’t even doing anything promiscuous, simply just hanging out with Jisoo, but it pretty much felt like they were almost caught by Sungjin and Wonpil. See, they haven’t told the other two that they kissed yet and are currently… whatever the hell they are. It wasn’t intentional, they just wanted to keep this between the two of them first because it’s so new and fragile. They were still figuring things out together; being careful.

Even though being with each other feels strangely familiar no matter how many years they’ve been apart, they’re actually taking their time and being mature about things. After the night they had their first kiss in fifteen years on Jae’s front door, they only kissed a handful of times more and did nothing else past that. They haven’t even gone on an official date yet. They often chose to spend their time hanging out at Jae’s house. Sometimes they would even go to pick up Jisoo from school together, not minding at all the suggestive looks and playful winks some of the other parents are throwing their way but not bothering to correct their assumptions either. Don’t get them wrong, they do feel the need to cross the line a few times. Their bodies are yearning for each other more as the days go by but right now, they’re content in learning things that are new to the other, and all the while picking up on familiar quirks and habits.

“Hi, uncles Sungjin and Wonpil!” Hearing Jisoo’s greeting breaks Jae’s train of thought. “Come over here, Brian and I are feeding a caterpillar!”

“Sure, kiddo,” Wonpil replies, feigning a look of disgust. “Just as long as I don’t get to touch it.”

In response, Jisoo giggles before picking up the insect and trying to chase Wonpil around the backyard with it.

Wonpil squeals for real this time, trying his best to dodge the playful and energetic six-year-old. “Sungjin, save me!”

Sungjin takes a seat beside Younghyun on the bench, casually leaning back before saying, “I’m kind of tired…”

“Traitor! I’m breaking up with you!” Wonpil tells him, to which the older just laughed at, knowing full well that his boyfriend was not serious.

Younghyun decides to join in on the fun, saying, “Go, Jisoo! Try gaining on him, trap him on that corner!”

Jae watches as his son dutifully listens to Younghyun’s instruction, laughing his heart out after almost catching Wonpil. He turns to look at Younghyun and sees the younger also watching Jisoo with a smile, his fondness for the kid clearly evident in his eyes. Jae feels his heart melt as Younghyun meets his gaze, sees the look in his eyes. He watches as the younger mouths to him, ‘Are you okay?’

Jae gives him a reassuring smile, heart warming once more at Younghyun’s caring nature. He mouths back, ‘I feel completely happy.’

And in that moment, surrounded by his friends, Younghyun, and his son, he feels exactly that—complete and happy.

Last week, after he got out of a tiring meeting, he saw that he got three missed calls from Jisoo’s school and a few texts from Younghyun. They were all from two hours ago. Panicked, he immediately gave the school a call first to find out what’s wrong. After the secretary tells him that Jisoo had to go home because of a slight fever and cold, worry ran through him, already on his way to walk out of the office but the secretary managed to calm him down as she informed him that Mr. Kang already took care of it.

“What do you mean?” He asked. “Brian took Jisoo home?”

“After we tried contacting you, we tried Mr. Kang’s cell number next. He quickly came to drive Jisoo home.” The secretary informed him.

Jae frowned in confusion. “How were you able to contact him though?” He tried racking his brain to remember if he ever gave the school Younghyun’s number and comes up short.

“Oh, Mr. Kang listed himself as Jisoo’s secondary emergency contact.”

Jae was speechless. He felt his heart grow too big for his chest in gratitude and appreciation for the younger.

The secretary’s tone changed into something serious when Jae didn’t respond as she continued, “I-is there something wrong, Mr. Park? Should we not have let Jisoo come with Mr. Kang?”

“No, no, everything’s fine!” Jae was quick to assure her. “I just didn’t expect that he…” he trailed off, smiling to himself. “Anyways, thank you Ms. Pierce for informing me. Sorry to bother you by calling.”

After ending the call, he finally reads Younghyun’s text.

**BriBri:**

_Hyung, can you please come home after you see this?  
_ _Jisoo needs you.  
_ _Oh! And please stop by somewhere to get porridge_

**Jaehyungie:**

_On my way home now  
_ _Thank you, Bri. Really._

He got home to find Younghyun and Jisoo asleep on Jisoo’s bed. His son’s using Younghyun’s arm as a pillow, a thin line of drool wetting the older’s sleeve. Jae couldn’t help himself as he took his phone out to snap a picture of the peaceful sight, saving it for later.

Jae smiles at the memory, grateful that he finally has someone who’s also willingly looking out for his son, someone he trusts his entire life with.

Younghyun studies him a little longer, curious of the look that passes Jae’s eyes, before deciding to believe him, sending a bright smile his way.

Jae sends him a subtle wink in return before speaking up to the rest of the group. “Hey, why don’t we all just have dinner here tonight, invite Dowoon over instead of having him babysit?”

Seeing that everyone agrees, Jae calls to his son, “Take it easy with uncle Wonpil, love. He’s out of breath already.”

Wonpil scoffs as he countered, “I’ll have you know that I’m physically fit, I could be doing this all day.”

“I’m trying to help you here.” Jae shakes his head at his friend, amused.

After Wonpil did some begging and, when that didn’t work, bribing, Jisoo finally decided to spare him mercy, running over to the plants to put down the caterpillar.

“What do y’all want for dinner? I’m heading out to buy ingredients.” Jae asks them as they all settled down on the sitting area at the other side of the deck.

“Pizza!” Jisoo pipes up. “Ooh, or mac ‘n’ cheese! No, wait.” He pauses, looking deep in thought. “Cheeseburgers!”

The adults couldn’t help but laugh at the kid’s antics. Younghyun reaches a hand out to lightly squish Jisoo’s nose before picking the kid up to place him on his lap.

“Cheeseburger it is, then.” Jae relents before adding, “You coming, Bri?”

Younghyun looks surprised at the invitation before carefully letting go of Jisoo and quickly standing up to join Jae. “Let’s go, hyung.”

They didn’t notice the slightly suspicious look Sungjin throws them as they make their way back inside the house.

Grabbing his keys, Jae and Younghyun faintly hear Jisoo whispering to Wonpil and Sungjin, “What does ‘hyung’ mean, uncles? Is that like daddy’s nickname?”

They can also hear the two adults trying to explain the formalities involved with the Korean language and struggling to say them in words that a six-year-old would understand.

Jae turns to Younghyun, chuckling. “Is it a good idea to leave my son with them?”

“He’ll be fine.” Younghyun reassures him. “If anything, I’m pretty sure it’s Jisoo who will have to handle them.”

“True,” Jae agrees, opening the front door and letting Younghyun pass before him. “Luckily, Jisoo’s too smart for his age. Or Wonpil and Sungjin are just too dumb for their age. Well, Wonpil is. Sungjin’s just fine.”

Younghyun merely shakes his head in amusement at Jae and Wonpil’s unusual dynamic.

After Jae parks the car at the grocery store’s parking lot, Younghyun makes a move to get off but stops when he sees that Jae hasn’t unlocked the doors yet nor shuts down the engine. Turning in his seat, Younghyun faces Jae expectantly, only to see that the older is already looking at him.

“Jae?”

The man in question clears his throat before saying, “Before we go, I actually wanted to ask you…”

Younghyun feels his palms start to sweat in anticipation. “Yeah?”

“Jisoo will be performing on a talent show next week and I was wondering if—”

“Yes, I’ll go!”

“Yes, you’ll drive us to the school because my car will be at the shop for maintenance by then? That’s so nice of you, thank you!”

Younghyun’s breath catches in his throat. “Oh, uh, yup. That.”

Cheeks feeling hot, he turns away from Jae to hide his blushing face. Embarrassed, his mouth starts to ramble, “I’m going to give you and Jisoo a ride to and from school. Yup, exactly what I thought you’d say. What else did I think it was? Pfft, who said I expected something else? Definitely not me—”

He cuts himself short when he feels Jae’s finger on his chin, tilting his face back to meet the latter’s gaze. Younghyun frowns slightly in confusion after seeing the playful glint in Jae’s eyes.

“I’m kidding, BriBri! What I really meant was, will you come with us? Be my plus-one?”

Younghyun is stock-still as he searches Jae’s face, sees the teasing lift of the corners of Jae’s lips and the fond look in his eyes, as the joke slowly dawns on Younghyun.

“ _Jae._ ” Younghyun whines, subconsciously puffing out his cheeks in relief before leaning forward to rest his forehead on Jae’s shoulder.

He feels Jae shake with laughter.

“So is that a yes?”

Younghyun lifts his head back up to once again witness the delight in Jae’s eyes. “I hate you.”

Jae chuckles one last time before easily replying, “I know.”

And because he couldn’t help it, he reaches a hand out to squish the younger’s nose, an exact mirror to what Younghyun did to his son earlier. _‘You’re so cute when you pretend to be annoyed.’_

Younghyun sighs, his muscles relaxing. Even though the blush still hasn’t left his face, deep down his stomach is doing somersaults in his abdomen. Before this, he’s fully accepted that the talent show will be a family event exclusively for Jae and Jisoo. He’s stopped expecting to be invited. After all, he’s only Jae’s whatever-they’re-called, he figured he didn’t have the right to join these things yet; milestones in Jae’s son’s life. And honestly, he’s fine with it. This time around, he’s being patient and mature, carefully working his way back to earn Jae’s complete trust (he knows that Jae has long forgiven him but since Younghyun thinks he got off easy, he’s decided to spending the rest of his life making up for what he’s done all those years ago) and doing everything he can to be the kind of guy that someone as perfect as Jae deserves.

But after what just transpired and despite the embarrassing way that it happened, Younghyun is beyond grateful and over the moon that Jae still decided to include him. That Jae spent a few minutes of his time picturing what the talent show would have been like if Younghyun was there with him, watching and cheering loudly for his son as Jisoo shines on the stage.

So, just when they’re about to enter the store, he stops Jae from walking. Hand on Jae’s arm, Younghyun leans closer to whisper in the older’s ears, “Just in case I haven’t made it clear earlier, I’d love to be your plus-one.”

He feels himself start to smile in satisfaction at seeing the pink tinging the tips of Jae’s ears.

Inside the store, they easily find their groove. Younghyun’s the one pushing the cart through the aisles as Jae takes a few steps away, grabbing things here and there. Jae would often ask Younghyun which brand the younger thinks is better, which he thinks Jisoo would like more, and which he thinks tastes better. Sometimes Jae would grab a few snacks and say “Bri, isn’t this the one you like?” before adding it to the cart. And Younghyun would often remind Jae of a few things that he noticed were running low on the older’s pantry, saying, “I think you need to buy more packs of that ramen. I cooked the last batch for Jisoo after school the other day.”

The familiarity of the situation is not lost on the both of them. Jae finds himself stopping to admire Younghyun studying the nutritional facts of Jisoo’s favorite brand of cereal. He remembers how back when they were roommates in college, Younghyun would always insist on Jae eating at least three healthy meals a week so he would make sure to add veggies and soy milk (because of Jae’s lactose-intolerance) to their grocery list. He smiles at the realization that even though they’ve grown separately in fifteen years, the things that he admires about the younger hasn’t changed. He’s still his Younghyun. _‘Wow, I’m such a sap.’_

And when their fingers brushed in the middle of the personal hygiene aisle, Younghyun closes that distance by grabbing Jae’s hand and intertwining their fingers. Jae, grinning to himself, tightens his grip in response.

Yes, they’re that annoying couple who holds hands at the grocery store.

The lights go down, curtains drawn, as they announce the next performer, or rather, performers. Jisoo’s band sets up their instruments on stage, trying to be fast despite the dim lighting on stage. Jae and Younghyun hold their breath as they hear the sound of drumsticks starting off the set. _‘One, two. One, two, three.’_

The opening chords to Phillip Phillips’ Home reverberate in the entire music hall. The sound of the acoustic guitar quickly captures the audience’s attention. The vocals easily following after.

_Hold on to me as we go  
As we roll down this unfamiliar road_

The bass and rhythm guitars easing in. _  
_

_And although this wave is stringing us along  
Just know you’re not alone  
Cause I’m gonna make this place your home_

The arrangement of the song is smooth. Their music teacher did a great job at matching her students’ age and abilities by simplifying the track. The song picks up just before the chorus. Jae stands in his seat with Younghyun following suit as Jisoo starts pedaling the bass drum accompanied by the snare drum. He takes out his phone and starts recording the performance, having zoomed in only on his son. Younghyun chuckles as he sees the screen; he would have totally done the same.

 _Settle down it’ll be clear  
_ _Don’t pay no mind to the demons  
_ _They fill you with fear  
_ _The trouble it might drag you down  
_ _If you get lost, you can always be found_

 _Just know you’re not alone  
_ _'Cause I’m gonna make this place your home_

As the song progresses, the audience starts humming and swaying along to the beat. The parents of the other band members were stood up as well, looking proudly and cheering loudly for their kid. However, the loudest cheer of all comes from Younghyun as he sings along to the song, unintentionally inviting the others to do the same.

The collective voice of over a hundred people echoes in the hall as they sing the “oooh’s” and “aaah’s” of the song. Encouraged by the crowd’s reaction, Jisoo brings his hands up to start clapping along to the beat of the bass. The rest of the crowd follows, the six-year-old oozing with charisma and quiet confidence.

 _‘Just like his father.’_ Younghyun thinks.

Eyes shining and filled with unshed tears, Jae looks around the hall to see the impressed and adoring looks the other parents and teachers have for his son. He feels himself swell with pride, a tear finally falling from his eyes.

Beside him, Younghyun’s sporting the same expression as he watches the kid kill it on stage, leading the song to a close. And as the hall erupts in a standing ovation, Younghyun reaches a hand around Jae’s hips to pull the older closer, flushed to his side. They savor in the moment, leaning against each other as they proudly watch Jisoo grab the hands of his bandmates, raises them, before taking a final bow.

“I have to say, Mr. Park, I think Jisoo will grow up to become a great performer one day.” One of Jisoo’s friend’s parent says, approaching Jae and Younghyun as they wait for Jisoo to finish saying goodbye to his friends and bandmates.

Their summer school ends in less than a week so Jae lets Jisoo take a little longer chatting with them, making promises to have a sleepover at each other’s houses. He faintly hears Jisoo excitedly tells them that his birthday is a few weeks from now, three weeks into September and right at the start of 2nd grade.

“I know,” Jae easily replies with a smile and continues by joking, “I’m certainly sure he didn’t get it from me though.”

“Thank God.” Younghyun chimes in, nudging Jae as he teases the older.

Jae playfully throws him a sideways glare before remembering his manners. “Oh, by the way! Claire, meet Brian—”

“Mr. Kang, yes, we’ve met a few times.” Claire interrupts, surprising Jae. Younghyun sees the older woman eyeing Jae’s hand that’s now on Younghyun’s hips. His face flushes at being caught but still doesn’t make a move to get away from the older’s grasp. It’s not like he’s going to let that simply hinder him from enjoying Jae’s touches. They’re adults, they can be appropriately affectionate in public whenever they want.

Claire’s teasing now, wriggling her eyebrows, as she addresses Younghyun, “I see things have progressed since the last time we talked, huh?”

Jae throws a curious glance Younghyun’s way but before Younghyun can even formulate a reply, Jisoo approaches them with a friend—Claire’s youngest son of three, Charles—in tow.

“Hey, dad,” Jisoo starts, jumping up and down in excitement. “Charles invited me to come with his family to Phoenix for his birthday! Can I go, please, please, please?” He has his hands clasped in front of him. His friend, Charles, joining as he echoes Jisoo’s pleas. “Yeah, Mr. Park. Can he go? Pretty please?”

“Woah, wait, hold on a second.” Jae tells them, looking up at Claire in confirmation.

In response, Claire playfully ruffles the two kids’ hairs before saying, “I was about to tell you before these two rascals came. We’re going to drive to Arizona to visit Charles’ granddad for his birthday and while we’re there, we’re going to stay at a country club in Phoenix.”

“Oh, um, when are you leaving and how long will it be?”

“About three weeks from now. We’ll be gone the whole weekend after the second week of September.” Claire replies. “We’ll leave Friday night and return Sunday evening. Don’t worry, just think of this as Jisoo sleeping over at our house like usual, except it’s for two nights instead of one.”

Younghyun watches as Jae considers this for a moment, brows furrowed. Jae looks at Jisoo again and his worries calm a little as he sees the hopeful look his son is throwing his way. Younghyun smiles to himself as he observes that no matter how much of a strict parent Jae claims to be, Jisoo very clearly has Jae wrapped around his tiny fingers.

With a sigh, Jae relents to his son’s wishes. “Alright.”

Jisoo and Charles cheer before Jisoo immediately wraps his hands around Jae’s waist. The gesture accidentally pulls Younghyun along as he’s standing close to the older. To get himself comfortable, Jisoo spreads his other arm to accommodate Younghyun.

Jae and Younghyun find themselves standing close to each other, Jae’s nose nudging Younghyun’s temple. They stare into each other’s eyes, unmoving even after Jisoo lets them go to join his friend. Younghyun stares into those brown eyes, subconsciously licking his lips. It invites Jae’s attention as his eyes cast downward, following the movement. Jae leans even closer and Younghyun’s heartbeat picks up at the proximity but since this isn’t the right time and place to capture those inviting lips, he decides to diffuse the tension.

Younghyun tilts his head to whisper in Jae’s ear, lightly chuckling as he says, “I think Claire’s watching us.”

True enough, as they pull away, they see Claire watching them with a shit-eating grin. “So, when’s the wedding, huh?”

Younghyun and Jae instantly avoid each other’s eyes as their faces feel hot, blushing as they struggle to respond. Claire just giggles at them, saying that she’s joking but is incredibly happy that Jae finally found someone before walking away.

“She’s…” Younghyun starts, needs to say something to calm his raging heart. “She’s quite something, isn’t she?”

“Yeah,” He hears Jae agree with a light chuckle. “But she’s nice and I know that she means well. Jisoo will be safe with her.”

Younghyun turns to face Jae as something dawns on him, remembering the date of Jisoo’s trip. “Well, seeing as how you’ll be free to go out that weekend,” he gathers enough courage to continue talking. “Can you come with me to go shopping? Since Jisoo will be away, I think it’s the perfect time to buy his birthday gift. I already have a few ideas but I need your opinion on them.”

“Oh, definitely.” Jae easily agrees to go, heart beating loudly in his chest as he feels touched by the sweet gesture for his son. “Saturday night?”

Younghyun’s face lights up in a bright smile. “Saturday night it is.”

**BriBri:**

_Jae!  
_ _I’ll pick you up at 8 later, is that alright?_

**Jaehyungie:**

_More than alright_

_Also, please wear something cute ;)_

_Excuse YOU, I always look cute_

_I meant wear something nice, hyung  
_ _Nicer than hoodie and sweatpants_

 _I…  
_ _Okay  
_ _You know me too well, Brian._

Younghyun nervously wiggles his leg under the table as he waits for Jae to say something. Unbeknownst to the older, Younghyun initially planned to eat at an upscale restaurant for dinner, slightly fancier than the one him and Sungjin ate at to celebrate them moving to LA a little more than two months ago. If he’s being honest, this is really what he had in mind when he asked Jae to come with him the night of the talent show. The thing about shopping for gifts was just a ruse. He already bought presents for Jisoo a few weeks before—all seven of them, one for every birthday of Jisoo’s that he didn’t get to become a part of.

“Brian, what are we doing here?” Jae asks, looking around after they gave their orders to the waiter. “I mean, I’m always down to wine and dine like a rich lady but, aren’t we supposed to be spending your money on gifts rather than expensive dinner?”

Younghyun gets brave as he reaches across the table to hold Jae’s hand. He looks into the older’s eyes as he replies, “Normally I would agree but, tonight’s special. And I figured you deserve to be treated to places like this once in a while.”

Jae frowns, looking adorably confused as he tilts his head to the side. “What’s so special about tonight?”

Younghyun’s eyebrows lift in surprise. “Wow, you really forgot? And here I thought you were just being so chill about it the whole evening. My, my, the tables have turned.” He lightly jokes.

Jae’s frown deepens. “What do you mean?”

Younghyun fixes a soft smile on his face, saying, “Happy birthday, Jae. See? I didn’t forget this time.” His voice has gone serious at the last part.

Jae freezes in his seat, having been taken by complete surprise. He really, genuinely forgot that today is his birthday. But what surprised him more was, not only did Younghyun remember, but the younger also bravely brought up an important thing that happened in their past—the thing that became the final straw to ending their relationship.

The thing is, the moment that Jae landed in LA, he felt a huge amount of regret and self-doubt hit him. He got sucked into depression and stayed in bed for a whole week. Had he been too sensitive for leaving like that? It was just one birthday, right? There’ll be more in the future. Even though his birthday wasn’t the only reason they broke up, that they’ve started to fall apart as their lives seemed to be taking them on different directions, but that was the thing that hurt Jae the most. He started rationalizing that maybe he deserved that—Younghyun forgetting his birthday and having spent it alone, crying—for not being the understanding and supportive boyfriend that he promised he’d become. What did he even mean when he said that he needed to do this for himself? Was he a coward for choosing his own well-being?

However, the moment that he started doubting his self-worth, his mother managed to knock some sense into him. She told him that maybe, for now, this is the best step for the both of them. He should never regret choosing to prioritize himself. Surely, when they’re both older, Younghyun would understand. And that if they really are meant to be together, they would find their way back, that when it happens, they’re finally better versions of themselves for each other. So, Jae picked himself back up, started prioritizing himself, improving his skills, creating a hobby, relearning how to play the guitar, everything. He also quit his job back in Seoul, and started working at his dad’s architecture firm. He really tried with all his might to be happy again because if he let himself bathe in sadness forever, then having broken up with Younghyun would have been for nothing.

One thing that he couldn’t change though was that he stopped giving a shit about his birthdays. He stopped counting down the days, stopped celebrating it, he kept avoiding it until he would actually forget and would only realize that the day has arrived when he gets greeted by colleagues at the office. At first, he did it out of spite. That single day of the year constantly hurting him like hell. But as the years went on, with time healing the pain into a dull ache until it’s nothing but a passing memory every year, he’s gone to accept his birthday again. He still doesn’t get excited for it but at least he’s stopped avoiding it.

And looking at Younghyun now, sitting across from him, he feels warmth spread across his entire chest, rendering him speechless.

However, Younghyun takes this as a bad sign as he anxiously starts, “I-is this not what you wanted? I’m _so_ sorry, Jae. I just wanted to make up for what I did fifteen years ago and so I thought since we had a tradition back then to have dinner at somewhere fancy for every special occasion that you would appreciate this. I’m so stupid. Please forgive me for assuming that—”

Jae cuts him off by leaning over the table to close the distance between their lips. The kiss is slow, gentle, and delicate as Younghyun feels Jae gripping the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer.

After they pull apart, Younghyun notices that Jae’s eyes are shining with tears.

“Don’t cry, baby.” He tells the older as he reaches a hand out to wipe away the fallen ones from Jae’s cheeks.

Jae chuckles lightly, a few more tears falling as he blinks them away. “Don’t worry, these are good tears. I-I’m just, I…” He gathers himself before continuing. “Thank you, Brian.”

Younghyun smiles back at Jae. “Hey, come on. You deserve more than this but for now, I appreciate you indulging me.”

Jae shakes his head. “It’s not just for tonight. I guess I just haven’t found the time to properly thank you for the bond that you’ve made with Jisoo, for being there for him when I couldn’t, for agreeing to try this thing between us again, and basically for coming back into my life.”

Younghyun’s heart swells at the words. With all of the sincerity coming from his chest, he tells Jae, “Thank _you_ for accepting me again, hyung.”

They would have kissed again if the waiter hadn’t arrived with their food.

Younghyun moans into Jae’s mouth as the latter pins him against the side of his car. They’re currently on Younghyun’s driveway after having to cut the dinner short due to… personal needs. They quickly gave up on the pretense of fine dining as they got frisky underneath the table, couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Younghyun almost choked on his salad when he felt Jae’s slender fingers start to gently massage his thigh. In retaliation, he hitched the older’s hand higher, letting him feel just how hard he was getting.

“We need to get inside. The neighbors might see.” Younghyun says in between kisses.

“Okay, lead the way.” Jae tells him, smirking against the younger’s lips.

Excited, Younghyun quickly moves to unlock his front door—fortunately, Sungjin went on another road trip with Wonpil, perfectly leaving the house all to Jae and Younghyun’s use.

However, as Younghyun steps inside, facing back to pull Jae towards him again, he sees the older hesitating on the doorstep.

He sobers up a little at seeing the look of apprehension on Jae’s face. “What’s wrong, Jae?”

Jae takes a slow sweep of the entire front of the house. Clearing his throat, he starts to say, “It’s just— this house is…”

Understanding floods Younghyun’s mind, tentatively offering his hand to Jae. “Why don’t we go inside and talk about it?”

The words feel heavy between them. They may already be back in each other’s lives but they still danced around the prospect of talking things through; their regrets, what went wrong, where they stand right now, and what they’re hoping for should they give their relationship another chance.

Jae nods, placing his hand on Younghyun’s before gathering the courage to take a step forward. When he found out from Wonpil that it was Sungjin and Younghyun who bought the house, Jae was relieved. For one, he didn’t like the thought of strangers living in it. But most importantly, the person who was the inspiration behind the design of this project finally gets to be the one to make a home out of it. See, when this house was completely finished ten years ago, Jae never came near it ever again, much less stepped foot inside since. But here Jae is now, leaning back on the couch, trying to make himself feel comfortable.

“Can I get you anything? Juice, beer, or…?” Younghyun offers, sounding a little uncertain and slightly anxious.

“Just water, thanks, Bri.” Jae sends him a quick smile to dispel the tiny frown on his face.

“I’ll be right back.”

After Younghyun has left for the kitchen, Jae looks around the room. He notices that most of the furniture and the floor layout hadn’t changed. But he also notes the subtle touches of Younghyun; a couple of guitars standing by the corner, a picture of the younger’s parents hanging on the wall adjacent to the couch, a picture of Younghyun and Sungjin smiling on an empty stage by the mantel above the fireplace, and beside that, a picture of him and Younghyun. Jae stands up to get a closer look. He picks up the frame, a smile spreading across his lips as he runs his fingers over their laughing faces. He loves this picture, loves the memory accompanied with it, loves how carefree and happy they looked wrapped around each other without a care in the world.

He feels Younghyun approach him.

“I hope you don’t mind that I had that on display.” The younger tells him before offering him the glass of water. “Whenever my career became too much of a burden, I always looked at that to remind me of happier times. To ground me.”

Jae carefully places the picture back, facing Younghyun. He takes a sip first to clean his throat before starting, “You know, I actually designed this house, inspired by everything we ever wanted back then. This was my first major project at the firm.”

The tips of Younghyun’s lips lift in a soft smile. “I kind of figured that when I first saw the pictures.”

Jae looks down, suddenly feeling shy as he asks, “Did they at least remind you of me?” He avoids Younghyun’s eyes as he places the glass of water on top of the mantel.

Younghyun feels for the older, at how uncertain and yet hopeful he sounded when asking those words. He gently hooks a finger under Jae’s chin, tilting his face back to make the older witness the sincerity in his eyes, their noses merely a few inches apart, as he says, “Oh, Jae… You’re my reason for everything. The reason why I bought this house. The reason why I moved to LA. I wanted to get closer to you again in whichever way possible.”

“Brian…” For the second time in one night, Younghyun is able to render Jae, sharp-tongued and always quick-witted, speechless.

Unshed tears start falling on his cheeks. Younghyun leans closer to softly kiss them away. Jae’s eyes flutter close as he savors the younger’s feather-like touches. He feels Younghyun smile against his cheeks before saying, “Crybaby.”

Chuckling, Jae replies, “I hate you.”

“I know.”

He then cups Younghyun’s face to bring the latter’s lips back to his. They sigh against the kiss, leaning on each other. Younghyun wraps his arms around the back of Jae’s neck, pulling his face even closer as if it was still physically possible. As he feels Jae tilt his head to the side to deepen the kiss, Younghyun slightly pulls away as the older chases after his lips.

Breathless, Younghyun tries to gather his thoughts. “Jae…”

“Yes, Bri?” Jae asks, distracted as he continues kissing the younger; his cheeks, his jaw, all the places Jae could reach.

A quiet moan escapes Younghyun’s lips as he feels Jae’s lips leave a trail of kisses down his throat. “What, uh, what are we?”

Jae stills his ministrations, registering the seriousness in the younger’s tone. He pulls away to completely face Younghyun, the latter quickly missing their proximity.

Jae searches his eyes before saying, “What do you want us to be?”

Younghyun swallows, mustering up courage to answer, “I want to be with you.” He pauses, nerves wracking up his entire body. “If you’ll have me again.”

In front of him, Jae smiles softly. He nudges their noses together. “You say that as if we want different things.”

Younghyun’s heart lurches at the words. “Are you sure?”

Jae pulls back again to stare deep into his eyes. “Completely and irrevocably sure. You’re the only one I want, Younghyun. I would very much love to have you as my boyfriend again.”

Spurred by the answer, Younghyun leans forward to reunite their lips in a kiss, hot and messy.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Jae says, laughing in between kisses. Younghyun fully shuts him up by lightly biting his lower lip, making the older let out a sigh. Jae maneuvers them so that Younghyun’s back is against the fireplace, pinning him on the mantel with his body. Jae growls as Younghyun further opens himself up to him, one of his hands knotting a fist on Jae’s hair. Younghyun moans softly as Jae continues exploring his mouth with his tongue, one hand running confidently underneath Younghyun’s shirt, the other reaching behind him to grab his ass, pulling him closer. He groans against Jae’s mouth as their clothed erections rub against each other. He chases the friction, needing more, as he begins slowly grinding against Jae. A gasp escapes his lips, inviting Jae to devour his mouth, as he slots a thigh between Younghyun’s legs.

Younghyun starts moving his hips. He’s fully hard now as he’s riding Jae’s thigh, letting the older ravish his neck, peppering it with kisses and soft bites, feeling him leave a few marks.

“I missed this, Brian.” Jae murmurs against his skin.

“Me too…” Younghyun manages to breathe out as he focuses on the feel of Jae’s teeth against his throat.

He knows that Jae doesn’t only mean missing the rush of what’s to come, the promise of sex. He knows that Jae was talking about being like this—this level of intimacy—together with him. He knows this because that’s exactly what he’s also feeling.

“Should we continue this to the bed?” Jae asks, his hand ghosting on top of Younghyun’s straining crotch.

“I— _Oh god_ …” Younghyun mewls at the sensation, the promise and anticipation that it gives him. He feels so electric, so aroused. “Fuck, yes, yes, yes…”

Trying to arrange his jumbled thoughts, he grabs Jae by the wrist to clumsily pull him in the direction of his room. They stop for a few times on the way, kissing a few more and leaving a trail of their clothes along the hallway, an obvious display and indication to what will clearly transpire in Younghyun's room.

Jae gently lowers him to the bed, bending down to shower Younghyun with kisses, kneeling between his parted legs.

“A-are you sure about this?” Younghyun chokes out, wanting to be certain that this is also what Jae wants, that he doesn’t think they’re moving too fast.

In response, Jae heavily leans his thigh against the younger’s naked cock, moving slightly, and making Younghyun cry out in pleasure. “What did I say about doubting my actions?”

“I’m sorry.” Younghyun breathes out, whimpering at the friction.

Jae cradles his head, murmuring, “It’s okay, baby.”

He dips his head to continue his onslaught of kisses on Younghyun’s neck, licking and biting. Once he’s satisfied that they’ll bruise, he trails hot kisses down the younger’s torso. Jae stops at his chest, sending a wicked grin to Younghyun before latching his lips on a nipple. Younghyun flourishes at the sensation, arching his back off the bed. While Jae’s busy ravishing his nipples with his mouth, Younghyun feels Jae’s hand trail slowly towards his aching cock.

“Oooh… _fuck_ ,” Younghyun cries out as Jae wraps his fingers around his erection, gently pumping him up and down, his pre-cum making the slide a little easier. Younghyun preens at the attention that he’s being given, not sure whether to focus on the feel of Jae’s tongue circling on his nipple, or the excruciating feel of Jae slowly palming the head of his cock.

Jae shifts over him, letting go of his abused nipples. His lips continue their exploration of his body, stopping a few times to gently nip and bite a few marks here and there. He looks back up at Younghyun, seeing the need and lust evident on his face, the beads of sweat forming on his forehead, mouth slightly open in wanton, and hands desperately grabbing at Jae—his back, his hair, whatever Younghyun could reach.

“You’re so pretty, BriBri.” Jae praises against his lower abdomen, his lips just above the base of his cock.

“Only for you, Jae. Only for you.” Younghyun promises, eyelids closing as he finally feels Jae wrap his lips around the head of his shaft.

“No, open your eyes, Brian.” Jae tells him, stilling his motions. “I want you to look at me while I pleasure you.”

Younghyun mewls at the commanding tone, quickly following his orders. He looks down to see his cock disappearing inside Jae’s mouth, sees the mischievous glint in Jae’s eyes, sees the hand pumping him where his lips couldn’t reach. Jae continues his ministrations slowly, delicately.

Younghyun feels pleasure building on the pit of his stomach but still far enough to push him over the edge. He gets turned on even more as he sees Jae smirk, the older clearly having intended to take his sweet, sweet time.

“Jae, please…” Younghyun moans, eyes still locked on Jae’s. “No more teasing.”

He audibly pops out of Jae’s full lips. He sees the thin line of saliva connecting Jae’s lips to the head of his cock, breaking off.

“Tell me what you want, baby.” Jae asks him, his hand continuing its motions almost languidly.

“You… to fuck me…” Younghyun is breathless as he sees Jae’s erection merely inches from his own. “ _Please_ …”

“Where’s your—”

“Third drawer by the nightstand!” Younghyun immediately tells him, pathetically desperate.

Jae chuckles, his hand leaving Younghyun before reaching out to retrieve the lube. He doesn’t waste any time to get back where they left off. He latches his lips once more to Younghyun’s cock, his tongue teasing and pushing into the slit.

“Mmmmm… oh god, that feels…” Younghyun moans, reaching to grasp Jae’s shoulders as a weak attempt to ground himself.

Jae pours a good amount of lube onto his hand as he pulls away from Younghyun’s throbbing erection.

“I’m going to be gentle, okay?” Jae murmurs. “I need you to relax. Breathe.”

Younghyun nods, feeling reassured as he does what he’s told. He groans when he feels Jae’s finger on his puckering muscle, the pain giving way to pleasure as he inserts the whole finger in until the last knuckle. Younghyun breathes steadily as Jae starts to slowly finger him in and out, his other hand gently massaging Younghyun’s thigh. After a few moments, Younghyun feels that he’s ready to take on more so bucks his hips a little. Jae easily gets the message, adding in another digit.

Younghyun moans at the sensation, wanting more. He continued to buck his hips to try and meet Jae thrusting his fingers. Jae smiles to himself, licking his lips at how needy his boyfriend is being. He finally adds a third one and Younghyun mewls at the stretch. Jae maintains his pace of slowly thrusting his fingers, keeping Younghyun stimulated but not to the point of coming undone.

“Jae…” Younghyun whines, “I need _you_ now…”

Jae thrusts his fingers a few more times before abiding. He guides Younghyun’s hands to hold his legs back behind his knees. He rubs more lube onto his cock, pumping a couple more times before he meets Younghyun’s watching eyes.

As he gets into position, aiming the head of his cock at Younghyun’s loosened entrance, Jae bends down to kiss Younghyun’s inner thigh. “I’ll go easy, okay.” He promises before pressing against Younghyun’s opening, stretching him slowly, inch by delicious inch.

Younghyun appreciates the concern, but really, he’s been waiting for this for so long. He just wants Jae to take him completely and mercilessly.

“You don’t have to be gentle with me, _hyung_ …” Younghyun mewls, breath uneven.

Inside him, Jae stills. The sound of the name and the way Younghyun said it so desperately, going straight to his dick.

“Say that again.” Jae commands, his thighs slightly trembling at having to hold back, he leans forward to feast on the younger’s throat, biting a little harder.

“…what?” Younghyun is incoherent, not even knowing that he called the older that.

Without warning, Jae thrusts all the way in, bottoming out.

“F-fuck, yes!” Younghyun cries out, loving the feel of being stretched by Jae’s cock. He’s leaking pre-cum now, incredibly turned on at Jae’s sudden aggression. “Oh _god_ …”

“I said, call me that one more time.” Jae growls against Younghyun’s ear, biting at the lobe.

Younghyun starts panting as Jae starts thrusting hard.

“Ahhh… mmm, oh… _fuck_ , yes!” Words come slipping out of Younghyun’s mouth now, thriving at the feel of Jae ripping through him. “Please, more… _hyung_!”

In one particular thrust, Jae’s cock nudges Younghyun’s prostate. Sparks of electricity shoot through his entire body at the sensation. “Holy fuck! Right there, baby… feels so good…”

“You feel incredible.” Jae whispers, capturing his lips in a wet kiss, swallowing his mewls, moans, and gasps. Jae continues his motions, pulling out until the head is the only thing buried inside Younghyun before pushing back in again, hitting his prostate at every thrust. And it feels _so_ good. Younghyun can’t believe that he might actually come like this, untouched.

Younghyun howls at the unbelievable pleasure, going limp as he lets Jae fuck into him, taking everything that he gives. His vision blurs as his eyes roll back in his head. He feels the familiar build in the pit of his stomach, nearing his release.

“Hyung… I—I’m gonna… I’m close,” Younghyun pants, bucking his hips to meet the older’s thrusts.

“I got you, baby,” Jae whispers against his jaw, snaking a hand down to wrap his fingers around Younghyun’s cock, pumping him and helping him along.

In no time, a blinding wave surges through Younghyun, hitting him low and strong. Younghyun spills all over his and Jae’s stomach and chest, a few drops reaching his chin.

His limbs go completely limp as Jae continues thrusting into him. The older doesn’t let go of Younghyun’s cock, still pumping him dry and drawing out his orgasm.

Jae’s thrusts are short and frantic now as he nears his release. He feels Younghyun squirm underneath him, having felt sensitive and overstimulated.

“N-no more… _hyung, please_ …” Younghyun begs, weakly pushing off Jae’s hand on his cock as the pleasure feels almost unbearable. His cock leaks more cum, dripping all over Jae’s hand. “Hyung, hnnggg… _hyung_ , please!”

Jae throws his head back as he thrusts a few more times before emptying inside Younghyun. He pumps his cock the last time, riding out his orgasm.

Spent and satiated, he collapses on top of Younghyun, careful not to crush him. He tilts his head to languidly give open-mouthed kisses to the younger. “You’re beautiful, Brian.” He whispers to his ear. Younghyun merely hums in response, head lulling sideways. Jae smiles to himself, admiring at having the privilege to render so helplessly Younghyun like this. They stay that way for a few moments, waiting for their breaths to even before Jae pulls out of Younghyun and lays beside him. Younghyun blindly reaches for him, clutching at his torso as he adjusts his head to rest on Jae’s chest, trapping the older. His eyes drift close, tired but blissfully content.

Jae nudges him softly, murmuring, “Baby, I need to clean us off.”

Younghyun just tightens his hold on him, making Jae smile fondly at his boyfriend. _‘God, I will never get used to calling you that.’_

“Later.” Younghyun sleepily tells him, nuzzling his cheek against Jae’s skin. “Stay here.”

With a soft chuckle, Jae settles in bed, tucking his chin to kiss the top of Younghyun’s head. “Okay, baby. You can sleep now.” And really, when has he ever said no to Younghyun?

A sliver of sunlight seeps into the room, reaching into the covers of Younghyun’s bed. His eyelids flutter open, feeling the warmth of Jae’s body enveloping him. He looks up to see his boyfriend sleeping soundly beside him. A bashful smile spreads across his face. _‘Oh, God. He’s my boyfriend now.’_ Memories of the previous night come flooding back to him. Younghyun couldn’t remember a time that he felt happier and loved than he did in that moment. The love that he feels for this perfectly gorgeous man right here almost bursting out of his chest. And because he could, he sits up before leaning down to pepper Jae’s face in kisses. He was in the middle of licking and nipping Jae’s jaw when he wakes up.

“Good morning to you, too.” Jae breathes out, a relaxed and content smile slipping on his lips.

“Hi, boyfriend.” Younghyun replies with a grin.

Jae reaches a hand to cup Younghyun’s face. “A dinner at a fancy restaurant, becoming my boyfriend, followed by an incredibly awesome birthday sex? You really pull out all the stops, huh?”

Younghyun leans forward to capture the older’s lips in a soft kiss. An idea crosses his mind. He pulls away, sending a mischievous grin Jae’s way as he shifts in bed, his body leaning over Jae’s.

“Not all of them.” Younghyun replies.

Jae gives him a curious look, bordering on excited, as Younghyun dips his head to place a soft, sensual kiss on Jae’s throat.

“Hyung…” He murmurs against Jae’s skin.

Jae’s eyes widen, the events of last night playing across his mind, his member stirring at the reminder. He didn’t know why the sound of Younghyun calling him by that honorific awakened such a primal and desperate need from him. But maybe it’s because of the way Younghyun said it, gasping and begging, that made it sound so dirty, so intimate that unbelievably turned Jae on.

“Hyung…” He whispers against Jae’s chest, feeling his breath hitch as he kept going. Younghyun snakes a hand under the covers, reaching Jae’s half-mast, palming and pumping to get it fully erect.

Jae shivers at the sensation, closing his eyes as he listened to Younghyun’s voice and focused on the feel of his lips traveling down his body.

“Hyung…” Younghyun dips his tongue on Jae’s belly button, his other hand, pulling at the duvet to reveal his boyfriend’s naked body, aroused and waiting. A moan escapes Jae’s lips, Younghyun’s mouth and hand doing wonders to his body.

“Hyung…” Younghyun reaches the base of shaft as he feels Jae’s pre-cum on his cheek, leaking from the tip.

“Hyung…” In one quick movement, his mouth envelops Jae’s cock, sucking and running his tongue on the underside as his hand continued to pump where his lips couldn’t reach.

“Holy shit!” Jae cries out as Younghyun continues his ministrations. And in a matter of minutes, Younghyun had him spurting in record time.

They stay in bed until their need to eat something trumps their need to stay tangled under the sheets. Jae watches with a smile as Younghyun makes them something to eat for lunch as he’s sat by the kitchen island. After they took a shower together, Younghyun gave him fresh clothes to wear, his heart beating excitedly at the smell of Younghyun’s scent on his skin. He’s currently wearing one of Younghyun’s shirts and clean boxers. He would have worn the one he lent to Younghyun all those days ago but he was pleasantly surprised to find out that it’s in the laundry because Younghyun often wears it to bed.

Once all the delicious food is laid out in front of them, they scarf it all down, their bodies needing sustenance after a night and morning of rigorous activities.

“So,” Jae starts once they’re both finished. “I’m thinking of telling Jisoo about us tonight.”

Younghyun almost chokes on his drink. He coughs a few times before clearing his throat. “Wow, um, if you’re sure then okay. I’ll be there with you.”

Jae gestures to him to come closer. Getting up, Younghyun crosses the side of the island to stand in front of Jae. He feels Jae reaching for him, wrapping his hands around his back to pull him closer, making him stand between his legs.

“We’ll tell Sungjin and Wonpil too but Jisoo needs to know first. It’s just that, the lack of communication and talking ruined us before and I don’t want it to ruin us again.” Jae looks up at him, earnest. “And besides, we may have made things official just last night but who are we kidding? We’ve basically been a couple this past couple of months, right? This time around, we’re going to do things maturely, no secrets, no more avoiding conversations, and once an argument arises, we will immediately talk things through. No more hiding. Okay?”

Younghyun’s eyes shine as he replies, “Okay.” He leans forward to press a kiss on top of Jae’s head. “I want you to know that I’m all in, Jae.”

It might have taken three months for their four-year relationship to end. However, it also took almost three months for them to find their way back to each other after being apart for fifteen years. This time around, they’re different—they’re better.

And since they promised not to hide things anymore, the words easily slip right out of Younghyun’s lips.

“I love you, hyung.”

He feels Jae’s arms tighten around him.

“I love you, too, BriBri.”

Telling Jisoo the news about them didn’t exactly go as planned.

As they sat with Jisoo that same night after picking him up from Claire’s house, Jisoo innocently looked between the two of them, waiting.

“Love, we have something important to tell you.” Jae starts, feeling nervous. Beside him, Younghyun pats a comforting hand on his back, assuring him with his presence.

“What is it?” Jisoo asks, curious.

“You know how daddy hasn’t been with anyone else before?” Jae prompts, his palms starting to sweat.

“Yeah.”

“And, um, you remember when I said that Brian was my friend from college?”

“Yeah.”

Jae clears his throat. “Well, we used to be in a relationship. He was my boyfriend before.”

A frown creases Jisoo’s face in confusion. “Before? But I thought Brian is your boyfriend now?”

“Well, yeah, he is but—” Jae cuts himself short, his son’s words registering. “How did you know that he’s my boyfriend?”

“Aunt Claire told me.” Jisoo simply replies, still looking expectant and waiting for the ‘something important’ part that his father needed to tell him.

Jae and Younghyun stare at each other, hopeful, before Younghyun turns back to Jisoo, asking warily, “And how did you feel about that?”

“Happy!” Jisoo easily cheers, smiling at Younghyun. “I get to have two dads, isn’t that awesome?!”

Jae and Younghyun were so relieved that they didn’t even get flustered at the kid’s innocent and unintentional insinuations.

“What was it you were going to tell me, dad?” Jisoo asks, oblivious to what the two adults are currently feeling. “Can it wait after dinner, I’m hungry.”

Elated, Jae and Younghyun stand up to coddle Jisoo as Jae picks him up in his arms, giving him a kiss on the cheek. _‘God, I love this kid so much!’_

Younghyun fondly ruffles his hair and squishing his cheeks for good measure.

Jisoo didn’t know why the two were suddenly hugging and kissing him but he loves the attention so he lets them continue, giggling in delight.

“What we were going to say was…” Younghyun pauses for dramatic effect. “We made your favorite spaghetti and meatballs for dinner!”

“Yay!” Jisoo cheers happily, bouncing in Jae’s arms. “The one I ate at the country club didn’t taste so good.” He tells them with a pout.

They ate dinner together, laughing and chatting, looking like a perfect family. And in a way, they are. Not in the most conventional sense but who cares, right? So, after Jisoo has been tucked in bed, Jae naturally pulls Younghyun into his room. And it’s looking like that’s where he’ll be sleeping tonight, and the many nights that follow after that.

Telling Sungjin and Wonpil about them was also interesting, to say the least.

You see, Jae and Younghyun didn’t exactly tell them, they just found out before the two even got the chance to plan a course of action.

Sungjin was doing his laundry when he figured he could include in Younghyun’s pile. After he got to the former idol’s room, shouting to Younghyun who’s cooking on the kitchen, “I’m doing laundry, I’ll add in yours, okay?” the latter doesn’t hear him so Younghyun never got the chance to hide Jae’s dirty clothes and underwear from the last time he slept over.

As Sungjin was collecting the clothes, separating the whites from the colored ones, he notices a familiar oversized hoodie. One that he’s seen Jae wear a couple of times before.

“Younghyun?” He called to his friend a little louder. Seconds later, Younghyun stood on the doorway to his room. Sungjin gives him a questioning look before gesturing towards the hoodie.

Younghyun’s eyes widened in realization as he quickly bent down to grab it. However, Sungjin is even more surprised to see Younghyun also picking up sweatpants, a light blue button down, black slacks, and a pair of boxers from the pile.

“Y-you’re telling me those are all Jae’s? Even the _underwear_?”

Younghyun wouldn’t meet his eyes as he struggles to come up with a response.

Sungjin notices his friend’s blush. His eyes pan to Younghyun’s bed, back to Younghyun’s blushing cheeks, then to the pair of underwear on Younghyun’s hand. It quickly dawns on him why Jae’s clothes ended up on Younghyun’s room.

Needless to say, Jae gets a frantic call from Wonpil a few minutes later. Jae really couldn’t understand much of the words but the ones he was able to pick up were ‘explaining to do’, ‘over dinner’, ‘tonight’, and ‘urgent’ before the younger ended the call. There might have been a few threats thrown in there, Jae wasn’t sure.

He gets a text from his boyfriend immediately after.

**BriBri:**

_babe  
_ _Sungjin and Wonpil know._

**Jaehyungie:**

_What happened?_

_Remember the clothes you left in my room?  
_ _Sungjin found your underwear while doing laundry._

Jae unexpectedly laughs as he imagines Sungjin’s scandalized face.

_Bet he looked horrified_

_Hilariously so.  
_ _Oh well  
_ _Pick you up at 7?  
_ _Wonpil will kill us if we arrive a minute later._

 _Yup  
_ _See you later, baby  
_ _Love you!_

 _What a sap.  
_ _…  
_ _Love you, too._

_Whipped._

_For you?  
_ _Always._

-

Two years later.

“Daddy, are you ready?” Jisoo whispers, trying to control his giggles.

“Yes, but you need to keep it down, love.” Younghyun tells him with a fond smile. “I think I heard Jae’s car. Any second now.”

They’re currently hiding in the kitchen, all the lights turned off inside the house except for the few candles softly bathing the living room in warm light. Younghyun grips his guitar against his torso, running the lyrics through his head so that he won’t forget them. After all, he just finished the song last night, right in time for their first wedding anniversary.

Jisoo holds a stem of red rose, instructed by Younghyun to hand them to Jae the moment that Younghyun starts singing.

“I’m home!” They hear Jae announce. “Is the power out? Why are there candles?”

Jisoo covers his mouth to muffle his excited giggles.

“Bri? Jisoo? Where are you guys?”

Younghyun mouths to Jisoo. _‘In three, two, one.’_

Together, they step out of the kitchen and into the living room. Jae sees them, noticing the rose and guitar, his eyes going soft. Younghyun and Jisoo step closer to Jae before Younghyun starts strumming the guitar.

 _On the dimly lit stage  
_ _While fumbling around alone  
_ _I searched for the light  
_ _So I know where I’m standing right now_

Jisoo hands the rose to Jae. His father happily accepts it as he stares back at his Younghyun.

 _That smile of yours let me know  
_ _What I’ve been looking for all this time  
_ _That you’re exactly the place I’ve been searching for  
_ _Show me where I’m going right now_

Younghyun takes a step closer, standing a foot in front of Jae. They mirror each other’s look of pure love and devotion.

 _I asked my heart again and again  
_ _Locking eyes with you again and again  
_ _Finally I’m convinced now  
_

_The best happy ending_  
_You will be  
_ _Without a doubt my last love story_

_So babe, please be my finale_

As the song ends, Younghyun puts down the guitar over the couch before cupping Jae’s face. A few stray tears have left the older’s eyes.

“That was beautiful, Brian.” Jae whispers, eyes shining, and heart soaring.

“It was all for you, baby.” Younghyun leans his forehead against Jae’s. “Happy 1st wedding anniversary to us, my love.”

“I love you, Kang Younghyun. You are my best friend, my home, and my better half. For all the days of my life, I am yours.”

“Whipped.” Younghyun teases at Jae echoing their wedding vows.

Jae laughs softly, nudging his nose against Younghyun’s temple.

Younghyun continues, “I love you, Park Jaehyung. You are my best friend, my home, and my better half. For all the days of my life, I am yours.” He adds, "And another day after that."

Their lips meet in the softest of kisses. They stand there for a few moments, savoring in their own bubble of love.

They feel a tug on the hem of their shirts. Glancing down, they see their eight-year-old son looking expectant. “Dads, can I eat the cake now?”

Chuckling, Jae leans to give him a kiss on the forehead, letting his son hold the rose. “Of course, honey, you can go eat as much as you want.”

The three of them head to the dining room where Younghyun has laid various delicious food for them to eat. They fall into their routine with their celebration continuing with Family Game Night after dinner. Because that’s what they are—a family.

_[BREAKING]_

_Retired singer-songwriter YoungK makes a comeback after having been in hiatus for more than two years with the song ‘Finale’. While this is good news for his long-time fans, a reliable source tells us that the idol is not planning to completely return to the industry. “He wishes to release his own music from time to time, something for his fans to enjoy, but that’s about it. There’s no word for any schedule of promotion from the idol as he remains with his family in LA.” The source says._

_[BREAKING]_

_‘Finale’ tops the charts in its first day of release, YoungK once again proving that he’s the best lyricist, songwriter, and singer of this generation._

_[BREAKING]_

_YoungK shares a photo of his husband, Jae Park, on his Instagram for the first time ever and his fans are freaking out. Some say they’re ‘swerving lanes’ to Jae, leaving the idol to stan his husband. Most of them claiming that ‘Finale’ was written about Jae. The idol remains mum about giving any more details about their relationship but one thing is for sure, the sweet and hopeful sound of ‘Finale’ is a far-cry from the sad post-breakup songs in the idol’s discography. And we believe we have Jae to thank for that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow... where to begin?  
> Welp, this chapter got longer than I initially planned. Thank you for making it this far in the story. I hope I was able to at least make you feel something with these words.  
> Please drop a comment below. You can scream at me, cry with me, sob about parkian with me, anything :) Comments, guys! I love reading and replying to all of them. Let me know what you think now that this is finally over!  
> p.s.: I have a couple more in the works, please anticipate it!  
> twt: @jaesbrivilege


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